We are from two different provinces. He moved out here at the end of August and my body of elders corresponded with his body of elders by telephone. Rather than have him fly back to his original province, my body of elders met with him and then consulted with his hometown body of elders. He was told he was disfellowshipped by the body of elders here although he also spoke with one of the elders from his original congregation over the telephone. (The official disfellowshipping took place mid way through September).
headisspinning
JoinedPosts by headisspinning
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113
High Profile Case: Seeking Reinstatement
by headisspinning inbut our situation is very difficult and quite high profile.... i was raised as a jw and my mother was very strict and abusive.
i got baptized at age 14.. my mother actually called on my (present) husband's mom in service.
she was on the initial call resulting in his mom coming in the truth and him being raised in it from about age 8 or 9.. despite a very abusive step-father, he followed his mom's lead and came into the truth.
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113
High Profile Case: Seeking Reinstatement
by headisspinning inbut our situation is very difficult and quite high profile.... i was raised as a jw and my mother was very strict and abusive.
i got baptized at age 14.. my mother actually called on my (present) husband's mom in service.
she was on the initial call resulting in his mom coming in the truth and him being raised in it from about age 8 or 9.. despite a very abusive step-father, he followed his mom's lead and came into the truth.
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headisspinning
Uh... well... we're still alive. LOL!
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31
My brother is now being trained as a Circut Overseer.
by Voices ini received a phone call from my mother (who is still a jw, but very accepting of me still as her loving son, even though i was disfellowshiped for questioning the oranization and choosing the bible over the watchtower at that time).
she makes normal talk, just regular stuff pertaining to situations of ours.
about me coming to visit, and or her coming.
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headisspinning
You have a PM (to Voices)
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113
High Profile Case: Seeking Reinstatement
by headisspinning inbut our situation is very difficult and quite high profile.... i was raised as a jw and my mother was very strict and abusive.
i got baptized at age 14.. my mother actually called on my (present) husband's mom in service.
she was on the initial call resulting in his mom coming in the truth and him being raised in it from about age 8 or 9.. despite a very abusive step-father, he followed his mom's lead and came into the truth.
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headisspinning
I'm back!! You said it would happen and it did!!
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92
Wanted to get reinstated... Almost ready to give up
by headisspinning ini'd like to hear from anyone who was disfellowshipped but fully intended to go back as soon as possible and how that worked out or didn't.
i'd like to hear how soon you went back to meetings, how many letters requesting reinstatement you wrote, how you were treated, and how long it took you to get bitter and jaded.... or in the off chance you had a positive experience, what exactly happened.. really struggling here... thanks!.
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headisspinning
The long version of our story is here (for anyone who might be interested): http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/child-abuse/202861/1/High-Profile-Case-Seeking-Reinstatement
To OnTheWayOut:
Sorry if I came across as defensive, I wasn't feeling judged. I just wanted to explain a little more is all.
For those concerned about our boys... We actually have five kids in total but the older four are with their JW parents (our exes). My present husband's ex wife basically blackmailed him into giving her full custody of the kids (along with everything else). She had her lawyer draw up the divorce agreement and told him he would not get a divorce unless he signed it exactly as is. As you all know, in order for the divorce to be viewed as scriptural, it had to be the innocent mate who filed for divorce. We had a baby on the way and wanted to get reinstated as soon as possible and thought this was the only way. Since then, she has manipulated the kids and the situation to the point where my husband is only allowed to call his children once per week. He bought them both cell phone with long distance plans (and pays for the plans) but their mother took the phones away so he has no way of contacting them without her supervision. He flew home to see the kids over the weekend and his daughter who is 10 wouldn't even see him.
For me the situation is better. My kids live with their father but they are only about 15 minutes away. On paper we have joint custody but the religion is used to dictate the living situation. My ex husband hardly works and lives off the child support that I pay for the kids. I have begged the kids to go back to our previous arrangement of living here 50% of the time but again, their father manipulates their emotions (or in his words 'assists them in making an informed decision'). I don't want to upset them, so although I tell them every time I see them that I miss them terribly and want them to come home, I don't want to put them in a situation where they are in a tug-of-war between me and my ex.
My kids know that whether they want to be JWs or not is up to them... at least as far as I'm concerned. I have always raised them that way. I want them to decide for themselves and I will respect whatever decision they make. That has always been the way from the beginning.
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92
Wanted to get reinstated... Almost ready to give up
by headisspinning ini'd like to hear from anyone who was disfellowshipped but fully intended to go back as soon as possible and how that worked out or didn't.
i'd like to hear how soon you went back to meetings, how many letters requesting reinstatement you wrote, how you were treated, and how long it took you to get bitter and jaded.... or in the off chance you had a positive experience, what exactly happened.. really struggling here... thanks!.
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headisspinning
To Paula...
I've gone through terrible depression and anxiety too and honestly, it was always treated/viewed as a spiritual problem That is just so unfair and ignorant! Telling someone to go to the meetings when they can't get out of bed is ridiculous. Telling someone to go door-to-door to tell others how they can live forever when you're suicidal and just want to die... how can that even be suggested? I've often said that I wished I had something VISIBLE wrong with me because nobody would suggest a spiritual solution for that, you know?
To LooLoo...
So you've seen the hypocrisy too, hey? Before I was disfellowshipped, it was discovered that my brother-in-law (who was an MS) had a serious porn addiction. It was so bad that he was actually performing live online. It was a terrible time for my sister and I was there for her every step of the way. Her husband was removed as an MS and had a judicial committee and was put on private reproof. They got through it and somehow the lid was kept on the story. His father is an elder in the congregation and they are very tight lipped. The point is, nobody found out what happened so it's just their dirty little secret. And yet, when I committed my sin, my sister and her husband have been so judgmental and damning. They have been so hardcore in their shunning of me and won't even see the baby. How does that work? Just because nobody knows about his crimes, he can carry on like nothing is wrong and look down on me? It makes me sick.
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92
Wanted to get reinstated... Almost ready to give up
by headisspinning ini'd like to hear from anyone who was disfellowshipped but fully intended to go back as soon as possible and how that worked out or didn't.
i'd like to hear how soon you went back to meetings, how many letters requesting reinstatement you wrote, how you were treated, and how long it took you to get bitter and jaded.... or in the off chance you had a positive experience, what exactly happened.. really struggling here... thanks!.
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headisspinning
In reply to Jookbeard:
I was married to a JW until 2007 when he threatened to burn the house down with me in it. My family arranged for me to stay at a women's shelter with the kids and the police were involved. I decided not to press charges and so the brothers just talked to him and that was it. My sister's inlaws didn't want us at a shelter so they let me and the kids stay with them for three months until I got a place of my own.
It wasn't until 2009 that I got involved with my present husband. He was married at the time and was the Congregation Coordinator in his hall. It was a terrible scandal but it all happened very quickly - we just knew we had to be together and didn't have much more of a plan than that. He moved out here with me and I got pregnant within a month or so. My ex finally divorced me (after 2 years of limbo) and his wife did the same.
Don't get me wrong - what we did hurt a lot of people and we have terrible guilt over that. We know we deserved to be disfellowshipped.
I don't have any previous JC matters in this area but I did attempt suicide twice while I was married to my ex husband. I'm sure that doesn't make them want me back in the hall... I'm sure things are easier without me. I've had committees in the past but they've always resulted in private reproof... and that was years ago in another city and province.
I hope that answers your questions.
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92
Wanted to get reinstated... Almost ready to give up
by headisspinning ini'd like to hear from anyone who was disfellowshipped but fully intended to go back as soon as possible and how that worked out or didn't.
i'd like to hear how soon you went back to meetings, how many letters requesting reinstatement you wrote, how you were treated, and how long it took you to get bitter and jaded.... or in the off chance you had a positive experience, what exactly happened.. really struggling here... thanks!.
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headisspinning
Thanks for that PalmTree...
I guess the thing is, if something is true it will stand up to scrutiny, and that's the bottom line.
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92
Wanted to get reinstated... Almost ready to give up
by headisspinning ini'd like to hear from anyone who was disfellowshipped but fully intended to go back as soon as possible and how that worked out or didn't.
i'd like to hear how soon you went back to meetings, how many letters requesting reinstatement you wrote, how you were treated, and how long it took you to get bitter and jaded.... or in the off chance you had a positive experience, what exactly happened.. really struggling here... thanks!.
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headisspinning
I think I am just going to have to take the plunge and read that book. I'm already talking to Frank Kavelin and Barbara Anderson on email. I just want to know the truth once and for all. If anyone wants to give me the non-emotional, non-angry, bullet point statement of 'The Truth' I would appreciate that. LOL! If only it was that easy!
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92
Wanted to get reinstated... Almost ready to give up
by headisspinning ini'd like to hear from anyone who was disfellowshipped but fully intended to go back as soon as possible and how that worked out or didn't.
i'd like to hear how soon you went back to meetings, how many letters requesting reinstatement you wrote, how you were treated, and how long it took you to get bitter and jaded.... or in the off chance you had a positive experience, what exactly happened.. really struggling here... thanks!.
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headisspinning
Interesting, PalmTree. Would love to hear more... and yes, he's in therapy and on meds for PTSD. Thanks!