Best wishes to you Space Madness, even though I don't see how cult life is going to ever make anyone truly happy. You give over your authentic self to the cult leaders, aka the governing body. You know longer make decisions about what to do and how to live your life based on your own feelings.
I would never go back to the Kingdom Hall and have found friends elsewhere. None of them are drunks or drug users. They like me not based on my sharing their religios views, but on me, the real me and only me.
Have you tried the United Universalist Church in your area? I hear that they are wonderful.