jesscd

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Posts by jesscd

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  10

  Going To The Meetings Because You Were Obligated To

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you remember going to the meetings because you had to??

  there were times when you were sick or definitely under the weather or perhaps you were exhausted physically and or mentally, and you were still required to go to the meetings!

  even during inclement weather you had to go.

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  jesscd

  Guilt guilt guilt - meetings were the top layer of a religion built on guilt. Yes, I felt obligated - and I hated going to meetings - dressing up even in freezing weather, nights when I just wanted to stay home and relax or Sunday mornings like today when I just wanted to sip coffee and read the paper - But miss one meeting and all of a sudden people view you as weak and the elders are calling you up - never mind you really are sick, spreading disease is much less of a concern than missing a meeting.

  So glad I am over that now - as I sip my coffee and my kids are in their jammies on this Sunday morning watching cartoons. I am so glad they will never know that kind of stress and guilt.
  
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  40

  What really should be the role of Women in the congregations?

  by Old Navy in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the presumably "biblical" practice of limiting the way women participate in congregational matters of the wtborg cult inc. (as well as certain other sects of christendom) may be a gross mis-interpretation of what paul meant.

  i'm inclined to agree completely with this account of what paul really meant.. thoughts anyone?

  aren't women more deserving of greater participation and respect?.

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  jesscd

  I had been disfellowshipped for a few years and still wavered between it being the truth or not and whether I should go back - but when I became pregnant and started contemplating how I wanted to raise a daughter or a son with a view towards women that cemented my decision and my true recovery. You can go rounds and rounds over how the scriptures treat women but when it comes down to the wire they will always be second class citizens. That isn't how I wanted my daughter or son to be raised thinking.
  
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  82

  How Far Up The Ladder Did You Go In JW Land?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i pretty much did it all.

  vacation pioneered as a youngster and became a regular pioneer out of school.

  i became a ms then an elder.....the organization pushes you to be somebody within the confines of their realm.

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  jesscd

  As a female I was only allowed to hold the ladder, oh and maybe clean it (don't forget the head covering). I did make it to regular pioneer, but stopped there. I was a rebel and refused to marry into the elder hierarchy. Educated myself and was employed a bit higher than a house/window cleaner or secretary - that didn't sit well with the men. Was in the more elevated status of a well known elder's child and niece. They say it isn't about status, there is no status - such BS.
  
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  7

  If your doctor is a older doctor, check USA Today article.

  by James Mixon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my doctor in his 60's so i hope he's ok.....forty-two percent of u.s physicians are older than 55, and 21% are senior citizens.

  some older doctors are calling for periodic screening for dementia or loss of competence.

  so are older doctors really worse than their young colleagues, on average they are, (holy sh--t).surgeons between the ages of 41-60 were more likely to keep their patient alive than were surgeons older than 60.....

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  jesscd

  Up until recently my mom has had only male doctors who were of an age.. Why she chose them, I have no idea. She has had several debilitating chronic ailments, including substantial hearing loss and a constant cough. Her doctors told her there was no cure, never sent her to specialists or for testing - prescribed unnecessary medications that caused horrible side effects, etc. Her doctor retired and she now has a younger woman doctor. The female doctor sends her to an ENT and audiologist. Her hearing loss is from a broken bone in the ear and in a simple one hour surgery her hearing was restored. Cough is allergies that can be controlled. 30 + years of suffering that possibly would have been unnecessary with a younger and/or female doctor.
  
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  25

  If an elder decides he wants to report child molestation to police.

  by poopie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  can he be sued for violating clergy pertinent privilege by the person that confesses to him?.

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  jesscd

  As far as I know the GB has stated many times that elders are not clergy, one of the separating points from other religions is the absence of a clergy class, so clergy privilege would be invalid.
  
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  184

  Outcome - Banned in Russia - Final

  by OrphanCrow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just watched the live feed from the russian court room and followed the updates on the russian exjw forum.. just waiting for confirmation from other sources...but, it looks like the final (and expected) result is:.

  banned.

  which means that the wts property in russia now belongs to the russian state..

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  jesscd

  No matter what I feel about my childhood, no matter what I feel about the JW religion. We all have the right to choose at some point. Yes it isn't pretty. If you are a born in like I was you stand losing everyone and everything you have ever known.
  
  However, as others have pointed out, the banning of a religion...the suppression of beliefs and the freedom to worship is just not right. What if only the Catholic religion, Russian Orthodox, born again Christians, or Atheists were deemed the only way to believe - the only thought process one could legally have?

  Does the JW cause damage? - no doubt! Does it damage families and indoctrinate the vulnerable? Again, no doubt. But most belief systems in some aspect have these characteristics. If you ask any devout believer of any religion they will say theirs is the only true religion. This also is their right.
  
  As many here I have suffered irreparable damage from my 32 years as a JW - being homeschooled from a very early age and as such a lack of education, socialization, and just normal childhood experiences. Being fraught with guilt and shame over illnesses and insecurities. Sacrificing my early adult years to pioneering instead of advancing a career or pursuing education. Losing every friend and family member I had ever known when I chose to leave at 32 and basically being like a foreigner planted in a foreign land with nothing. And that is just the damage fit to post in a public forum.

  But despite all, I cannot justify the banning of a religion or belief system. It does nothing but fortify those still in and it creates a scary precedent.
  
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  24

  When can I let my guard down?

  by hybridous in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  quick background:.

  born-in, but never baptized.

  remainder of family still (by all appearances) loyal dubs.

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  jesscd

  nonjwspouse - love this "it is NEVER wrong to have questions you can't answer, but ALWAYS wrong to have answers you can't question."
  
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  24

  When can I let my guard down?

  by hybridous in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  quick background:.

  born-in, but never baptized.

  remainder of family still (by all appearances) loyal dubs.

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  jesscd

  I have two young children - ages 5 and 7. Personally I am in between an agnostic and atheist at this point. Their father is a lapsed catholic. Influences aside from us parents include my former 2nd generation pioneer and elder wife JW mother who is now a fundamentalist christian, my 2nd generation still in JW dad and wife/stepmom, and several diehard Catholic relatives on their dad's side.
  
  My strategy has been to be open, honest, and non-judgemental about beliefs - my own and that of others. I have bought several child-friendly books that cover most of the religions of the world to give them a basis. We have even read the My Book of Bible Stories book - but with the view towards this is just one belief system and not necessarily non-fiction.
  
  We recently had a death in the family and that brought up a lot of questions. I answered them the best way I could, including what and why I currently believe the way I do and the fact that I don't have all the answers.
  
  My son who is 5 has chosen at this time to believe in a God and heaven. My daughter who is 7 waivers between not believing at all and believing in a malevolent and horribly mean God who chooses not to save people despite the ability.
  
  As they grow, although not totally possible, I hope to educate but stay out of their personal beliefs and choices as much as possible.
  
  I view my job to be teaching critical thinking and questioning. The earlier you start with this I think the better. I think that way you keep the line of communication open - so if and when they come home after being told certain beliefs they will feel free to talk, ask questions, and be open to a critical though process.
  
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  6

  Test yourself...Which Religion Best Suits You, what non religion best suits you.

  by Giordano in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  since we have had so many joining up while others have changed their thinking it doesn't hurt to see where we stand now .. this 20 question test is not the definitive test but it may be revealing or affirming....... find out where your religious or nonreligious comfort range is.. i just took it and my #1 choice was that i was a secular humanist.

  being a jw was #24........ way way down the list.. www.playbuzz.com/benjaminbirely10/which-religion-best-suits-you.

  you start by clicking on the general statement that is closest to how you think.

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  jesscd

  Buddhism
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  11

  Born in baptisms to avoid embarrassment

  by Spoletta in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i noticed a recent commenter mention an assembly that had only one baptism, a born in.

  the last assembly i went to had three baptisms, of which two were born ins.

  could part of the motivation for youth baptism be to avoid the embarrassment of an assembly with no baptisms at all?

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  jesscd

  From my own experience as a born in - one starts getting the guilt trip and scare tactics that one isn't making the truth their own and the parents can no longer protect them at Armageddon when one is around 9-10 years old. Kids who want to "kiss up" or feel the attention they would not otherwise get, get baptized very early. I don't mean to be biased but most boys who get baptized early seem to want the ego boost. Most girls are wracked by fear, guilt, and shame. And again this is coming from personal experience and conversations with my brothers (familial) and many friends. Most teenagers seem to just be sick of being bugged about it.