Substitute the word 'apathetic' to 'sceptical' or just 'to darned busy making ends meet'.
I think you need time to stop and breathe.
The JW mind-set is geared up to make you believe in something bigger or you're doomed. Give yourself permission to stop doing that to yourself.
If there is a god, it knows where to find you.
If there is a truth about Life, the universe and everything, we'll probably never know. That's the reality of it.
Take a breather before it sends you didlow.
You need to be careful that you don't jump from one bonkers cult into another.