Newy - It is with profound sadness that I look back on my life as a Witness and now I am basically a non-entity
This is how I have felt.
My story in a nutshell. Born into the cult. Pioneered. Minny man then Elder. As an Elder I realised it was just a cult. A dangerous one at that. Because I didn't want to be a Jobot anymore, my wife left me with 2 of the 3 kids. 1 was a minor. It was hell!
She's now re-married to another Jobot....not sure if it was 'approved(tm)' by the cult because there was hardly anyone at the wedding, I'm told.
Here I am, a non entity. Nearly retired. Single. No prospect of it changing at my age because I basically don't trust relationships anymore.
So. What do I do?
I go to work full time. I play in a fairly successful local band where the Covid over-reaction by Government thing has destroyed many venues where we used to play. I am in a local Viking re-enactment group.
I have lovely grandkids. 3 speak Polish as a 2nd language. Another one on the way.
Somehow, none of this seems enough.
It is with profound sadness that I look back on my life as a Witness and now I am basically a non-entity.................like you said.