I'm the guy (even as an elder) in case #2. Jesus yielded and ignored the law when speaking with the Samaritan women at the wall. "By law", he should have been put to death. Regardless of what you think about the JW DFing rule (frankly I now think it's bullshit) but even as a JW, "yielding" to show your sympathy to someone who has lost a loved one is THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Shunning them is a BAD witness to others and it hardens their resolve to NEVER "return to Joe Hoover".
JW's as in Case #3 are self-righteous pompous assholes.
In Case #1, I agree with your assessment that JW Elders think they have the authority to just "take over" and enforce their rules and their thinking. FUCK 'EM if they're not paying the funeral bill (or insert whatever occasion).