Let's have the rest of it
Peace - LL
another thread raised the question of wt and amway well-- jeff and joni probandt are the ray franz of amway .
as you read this guys story you will think that you are reading about an ex- jw and yes you will see the same mindset is in amway as well as wt----.
over the next few days i will post some info that this young guy provided about amway- he is one of the highest ranking amway folks ever to go public in such a detail fashion as he did-.
Let's have the rest of it
Peace - LL
early this morning i noticed a couple of racoons in my back yard searching for food.
there's a huge park/forest in my back yard.
i quietly opened the door and left some treats for them.
While I was walking to catch a boat for work, My teenage daughter (14) was with a group of her friends and acknowledge me in front of all of them. She screammed 'Hi Daddy.' That made me feel good. Now if she'll do that when she's 16 than I must be doing something right :)
Peace - LL
my (non-jw) grandmother is visiting from the southwest this week.
the usual family get-togethers are planned.
my ms younger brother was complaining to me about how unreasonable our (jw) mother is being.
Hmmm - Your Bro. doesn't know any better - The Borg is first in his mind. I recall when I was indoctrinated that meeting attendance was paramount. I remember some an emergency came up and I couldn't make the Book Study, and since I never missed meetings I call the conductor and assistant explaining why I couldn't make it. The conductor said "you don't have to call, I know that it must be important if you miss a meeting." I felt so relieved when he said that :) I actually LOVED going to all the meetings, this was my happiness.
I also didn't want to miss a meeting because I was new in the congregation and was reaching out for MS. As you know when a Bro. is reaching out nothing else matters - even family :-/
Enjoy Grandma!
Peace - LL :)
amway, quixtar, and other mult-level marketing schemes vs. wts.. if there is anything an ex-jw cult member would recognize, it would be another cult!
i say that b/c my uncle is an 'hardcore' quixstar member (ibo) and the more i talk to him the more similarities i see btw quixtar and the borg.
of course he doesn't see quixtar being cult-like but to some one on the outside looking in the organizations mirror each other.
Thanks for the responses - No, I never heard of CitiFinancial but I heard of Primmerica. In fact, I was a member for a week or two, but they are all the same. Once I saw the similarities I left quickly. Anyway, here is a list of similarities I've notice btw the WTS and all these multi-level organizations -
They blame the victim for failure
They think they have the only' answer
Women are viewed as second class' citizens
Will talk about the evils' of the society and at the same time depend on the evils' for their survival
Will preach - The more you suffer the greater your reward
Make you feel guilty for not using their product
Need to report thoughts, feelings and activities to superiors - Spying is encouraged as well as confessions
Encouraged never to speak negatively about your superiors, even if it is true.
Mostly minorities' get involve in these organizations and the folks on top are Caucasians
The information is control - All the information you will ever need comes from us
Uses misquotations and statements taken out of content
Leaders show interest in those members that show the greatest potential
Uses language unique to the group - loaded language
Encourage to attend weekly meetings, conventions, etc
Destroys families b/c of different beliefs and money issues - Will pick organization over family
Alienates close friends and family due to not believing in their system
Thinks that non-believers are stealing their dream away or are evil
Won't associate with non-believers - Only deal with you if there is some potential in you becoming a member
Warns members about negative' internet sites
More ex members than active members
Every aspect of their conversation is geared towards converting you - Will proselytize anywhere and with anybody - Prospect Radar is on
Want you to listen to tapes of good' speakers
They are international and are growing in 3rd world countries
Pushes books, publications, magazines, and tapes
After YEARS of being in it, they realize it doesn't work, but have invested too much time and effort and burnt too many bridges to give up - endless cycle
Always keep that carrot' dangling in front of their face i.e. money/paradise - Selling you a pipe dream
If the regular member can't convince a prospect, they will call on a more seasoned member to try and deceive you
Depends on rote learning- repetition, repetition, repetition
Doesn't encourage independent thinking; Individualism discouraged
Created a false sense of brotherhood and love at meetings and conventions
Will play' on words, avoiding direct answers - Implied misrepresentation
Use scare tactics i.e You will be dead broke' at 65; You will die at Armageddon; You will always be a failure
Thanks - Larry :)
amway, quixtar, and other mult-level marketing schemes vs. wts.. if there is anything an ex-jw cult member would recognize, it would be another cult!
i say that b/c my uncle is an 'hardcore' quixstar member (ibo) and the more i talk to him the more similarities i see btw quixtar and the borg.
of course he doesn't see quixtar being cult-like but to some one on the outside looking in the organizations mirror each other.
Amway, Quixtar, and other Mult-Level Marketing Schemes vs. WTS.
If there is anything an ex-jw cult member would recognize, it would be another cult! I say that b/c my uncle is an 'hardcore' Quixstar member (IBO) and the more I talk to him the more similarities I see btw Quixtar and the Borg. Of course he doesn't see Quixtar being cult-like but to some one on the outside looking in the organizations mirror each other. In any event, I just wanted to know if anybody else saw the similarities and wanted to mention some of them. I going to complile a list and present it to my uncle before he gets deeper in debt and indoctrinated in the Quixtar Mind Control arena.
Thanking you in advance - Larry :)
greetings - would some one please confirm that the aug 2002 km has the article entitled "display christian loyalty when a relative is disfellowshipped" i want to be accurate with my quotes in this letter.
speaking of which, i'm sending the below letter to my jw family - if you have time please let me know your thoughts -thanks - larry :).
to all my practicing jehovah witness family members:.
Thanks again for your input - Here's the final letter.
From the Desk of - Larry
To All My Practicing Jehovahs Witness Family Members:
Some of you will immediately dismiss this letter, but I think it would be in your best interest to read this letter in its entirely due to the specifics herein. I want to avoid any embarrassing situations that may result because of you not being informed of my wishes.
Ive recently came in contact with the August 2002 Kingdom Ministry, entitled "Display Christian Loyalty When a Relative is Disfellowshipped." Admittedly this article isnt "new light" it is just reenforcing the organizations hardline position on the treatment of disfellowshipped / disassociated people. In view of the below listed quotes from the article that is applicable to me:
---------
"3. ...Hence, we also avoid social fellowship with an expelled person. This would rule out joining him in a picnic, party, or trip to the shops or theatre or sitting down to a meal with him either in the home or at a restaurant;
"5. ...The fact is that when a Christian gives himself over to sin and has to be disfellowshiped, he forfeits much: his approved standing with God;.. sweet fellowship with the brothers, including much of the association he had with Christian relatives"; and
"9. ..."The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living, outside the immediate family circle and home," states The Watchtower of April 15, 1988, page 28. "It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum," in harmony with the divine injunction to "quit mixing in company with anyone" who is guilty of sinning unrepentantly. (1 Cor. 5:11) Loyal Christians should strive to avoid needless association with such a relative, even keeping business dealings to an absolute minimum."
---------
Im letting you know that you dont have to worry about how to deal with me, or concern yourself about being put in a compromising position because Im solemnly cutting you off.
Although the article says "...Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum." Which means Im not welcome in my mothers house for dinner, no one could call me to see how Im doing, etc. However, Im letting you know that I dont even want minimum contact with you. My stance includes funerals, financial woes, illnesses, or any emergency. I refuse to be accepted on a part time or emergency type basis, either you accept me whole or dont accept me at all. That treatment reminds me of Jim Crow laws - Those days are over.
Sadly enough, this is the worst time for family division, we are all getting older and our past life styles are catching up to some of us. We should be mending old wounds, appreciating each other, and breaking vicious negative cycles that all to often repeats itself. Instead, what I see is a Divide & Conquer, Us vs. Them mentality. As much as I love all of you and crave a unified family, I know its not possible - Ive accepted that fact. Family is nice, but its not everything. In my case living life is bigger than family, in your case, religion is bigger than family. I wish there could be a happy medium, but as you know there is no amicable way of leaving the organization.
Which brings to mind Auntie's critical heath condition - No, I will not be going to Atlanta to visit her. The mere fact that it is an issue is shameful - I can recall my mother telling me "Its OK if I visit her." As you all know, she was like a mother to me - Took me everywhere, showed me love, was generous with me, introduced me to music, radio, TV, cards, and classic movies. (She even saved my life with I was an infant.) She made my childhood a memorable one, and I will always appreciate her for that. But thats all I have, treasured memories. The last conversation I had with her was a pleasant one - I could tell she is at peace. I think she gave up on life a long time ago, which is helping her accept her terminal condition. In any event, I hope she does well, I will cherish the fond memories.
I also appreciate what my mother has done for me and what she has done for herself. I cant put my finger on what she did to help me gain inner strength, the strength I need to be independent of the organization, but it proved beneficial for me. I cant deny my history, I will always acknowledge her for the protection, discipline, guidance, and parental duties. But, I cant live in the past or live for other peoples acceptance. There comes a point in a persons life where you have to live your own life. There is where the problem lies - You guys cant accept me because I dont believe in your organization or religion. You cant say Oh well, thats his choice, we love him the same but you have to take it to the next level and say well, if he leaves we wont talk to him, well make him feel sorry that he turned his back on our religion. That behavior is very medieval and it especially wont work on me.
I understand how you have to be loyal to your organization so I do not expect or want you to change, because thats where you guys belong. But as a conscientious, responsible man who worked and has taken care of my family, giving my children what I never had, I can not be in the company of people who consider me worthy of destruction, less of a person, thinks I need some type of help, or am someone who "gives himself over to sin. " I consider your company anything but "sweet fellowship." Now that Im on the outside looking in, I cant believe you guys think you are the standard of righteousness - far from it. Especially in view of the fact that the organization has on file over 23,000 pedophiles - Which isnt any startling news to Elders, because when I was in that position, those situations were common, along with drunkenness, depression and suicide.
The mistaken belief of the organization is that shunning is an act of love that will help someone turn from their evil ways. Well let me reassure you that I will NEVER come back to the organization, I see it for what it is and I dont want any part of it. The views that you are forced to live by only makes me resent the fact that I was ever associated with such an organization. In fact, one of my BIGGEST regrets in life was counseling J, years ago, when her mother was disfellowshipped, advising her that she shouldnt call her mother so often. Im so grateful that J had enough sense to ignore me.
Ive received phone calls from some of you guys, telling me about some family or medical situation and all the while you kept mentioning the reason you called. What kind of conversation is that? Where every other sentence is "well, the only reason Im calling is because..." Its as if someone else was on the other end monitoring the phone call making sure that you dont call me for a normal reason, like to see how Im doing. Ill never forget how Moms was preaching (I call it harassing) J while I was in the Military (basic training,) saying in effect that you have to be more loyal to the organization than to Larry, etc. And how she called the night before [my baby sister]s wedding telling J she dont think it would be a good idea for us to come to the reception because some of the friends would walk out, etc. Well, that wont happen again, because Im telling you all now - Dont call my house for anything.
I would never tell my kids not to talk to you guys, but if you ever talk to my kids, dont dare preach to them. If you think Im part of the Evil Slave Class now, let me catch you preaching to my children. Its bad enough that we have another generation of JW kids thinking they are better than other kids. I wouldnt mind if my children joined any religion, with the exception of yours. Any religion that breaks up families because one members doesnt believe the same myth as you is evil. I would do the best I could to keep my kids away from that. Shunning takes place in most religions and I think the practice is counter productive, If not out right against all human decency.
You fault me for joining the Military, but I see how the Military rescued my mother when my father died. (Oh, just in case you are wonder, thats why Im considered disfellowhipped - because I joined the Military - thats automatic grounds for disassociation from the organization.) The Military sent my Moms and each child a check every month after his death. In fact, Moms is still benefitting from Satans Organization today. I just want the same benefits for my family. But for me joining the Military, in a non-combatant occupation, it is a major spiritual offense. That reasoning seems very inconsistent. When I joined the Military I had to put someone besides my wife and kids down as a beneficiary , so I naturally picked my mother. But now I have to take her name off - I cant imagine her speaking to me "to an absolute minimum" while Im alive and receiving any benefits from me through my death. Speaking of such, if me and any one in my family dies please dont bother attending the funeral. If you cant talk to me while Im alive dont bother showing your appearance of support later on.
For those of you who says "didnt you know what would happen when you joined the Military." I say, yes I knew the consequences, but you guys have taken the whole thing to another level, going beyond the rules (I know because I had/have access to the official rules.) Now that I take a closer examination, I see the position the organization takes towards the disfellowshipped / disassociated ones is really a smoke screen, in my situation, because it has more to do with our dysfunctional family than with the man-made rules.
Speaking of man-made rules, I find the organization more culpable than it members, because they have all the control. All they have to do is say jump and the members will say how high. I mean, if the organization says Ok you can talk to disfellowship ones, you would go along with it, just like last year when they said in a Question From Readers that you can pray for disfellowship ones. It seems that you have to wait on some strangers to dictate how you will deal with your family. It takes an extremely forgiving and humble person to want to be in the company of people who pity them and view them as dangerous. Im not that one, Im not the bigger person. Ive came too far in life to let someone browbeat or try an shame me into submission. The religious blackmail is not working.
To those who say Im demonized, evil , mean spirited, etc. - So be it. When I first left the organization or even when I resigned as an Elder, one of the first things I realize is how anybody could make a statement about you and it would be believed as fact - rumors galore. I would never get the benefit of the doubt, especially from my mother. Instead of folks saying Oh no, Larry would never do that it would be Oh yes, he must be guilty. If you have to vilify me in order for you to justify your actions let it be. The organization has seen fit to reenforce their stand, which prompts me to reenforce mine. Thus, no hard feelings, we are both doing what we have to do to survive.
For those of you who say "I dont know why he left, he knows better" I say - Yes, I know better thats why I left. For those who say "I love you" - Please dont ever say such a thing. You have no concept of what love really is. Love is not phoney hugs, forced greetings, or contact due to emergences - its unconditional acceptance.
I know this letter comes as a shock. Because you guys think the world revolves around you, and everybody should make adjustment to cater to your beliefs, well Im taking the initiative and letting you know that you cant treat me or my family like a second class citizen I will not allow it, thats why Im distancing myself from you.
In closing, you may say why such anger? I said why not. I cant sit down and express myself to you in person, because itll result in an argument. And since I dont have any destructive habits to release my frustration i.e drinking or drugging, writing is my outlet of choice. I know the majority of people this letter is addressed to wont read pass the first paragraph (if any,) but Im feeling good about releasing my feelings, writing is truly therapeutic. And since Im not hiding from my pass Im free to write the truth about my feelings. This is one case where The truth will set you free.
Take care and have a nice day. Please pass this letter to any JW family member I may have missed. Oh, and since my mother likes to report things to the Elders, i.e. My Army letters and photos, please feel free to show my Letter of Disassociation to My JW Family to them.
Sincerely,
Lawrence L. Henderson Jr.
Edited by - Larry on 23 July 2002 9:54:42
i sent the following to my jw son today and, of course, i'm antsy about his reaction.
i love you, jw son, and from 28 years of being a jw, understand completely your religious views.
this is my decision and reasons for it.
Interesting perspective on that letter - very well thought out. You truly went the extra mile by explaining all the possible scenarios and solutions - good job. I don't think he'll appreciated your tact and logic, but at least you did what works for you. I'm very glad that you didn't compromise your stand and that you have the strength to defend other people's basic human rights - Bravo! Question - Does the family view you as D'FD or 'spiritually weak?' And do you care?
Peace - Larry :)
greetings - would some one please confirm that the aug 2002 km has the article entitled "display christian loyalty when a relative is disfellowshipped" i want to be accurate with my quotes in this letter.
speaking of which, i'm sending the below letter to my jw family - if you have time please let me know your thoughts -thanks - larry :).
to all my practicing jehovah witness family members:.
Wow, thanks for the references and feedback. I feel better already - putting this letter on the Net feels just as good as sending it to my family) Based on the feedback, I'll have to include additional information.
I'm not new on this board, I've been around since the early dates of H2O under various names (Cush, Doeg, Blackman4Life, etc.) But it's been a long time since I posted anything.
Let me just say, I've been D'AD since '98, when I joined the Military. I've been dealing with my hardcore JW family members since I've stepped down as Elder in '97. The fact that my JW Aunt is dying from cancer and in the face of the lastest KM article - It just made everything come to an head which inspired me to write. I don't really expect them to read the letter, I wrote it for myself. I would love to talk to them face to face about this, but they would not allow it.
I know from the tone of the letter I'm not acting any better than they are, but that's fine with me. I'm not trying to be the 'bigger person,' I'm just expressing my feelings. I could sugarcoat things and say 'I love my family' and 'If they feel like talking to me call me anytime,' But that's not what I'm feeling at this time. If I learned one thing being in the cult it's this: No matter how passionate you may feel about something today, it could change over night. I remember when I would have died for the organization without any hestitation, obviously I don't feel the same way today. As time passes things will change, but right now, I'm going with this feeling.
Thanks again for you comments.
Peace - Larry :)
greetings - would some one please confirm that the aug 2002 km has the article entitled "display christian loyalty when a relative is disfellowshipped" i want to be accurate with my quotes in this letter.
speaking of which, i'm sending the below letter to my jw family - if you have time please let me know your thoughts -thanks - larry :).
to all my practicing jehovah witness family members:.
Greetings - Would some one please confirm that the Aug 2002 KM has the article entitled "Display Christian Loyalty When a Relative is Disfellowshipped" I want to be accurate with my quotes in this letter. Speaking of which, I'm sending the below letter to my JW family - If you have time please let me know your thoughts -Thanks - Larry :)
-----------------------------------------------------
To All My Practicing Jehovah Witness Family Members:
Ive recently come in contact with the August 2002 Kingdom Ministry, entitled "Display Christian Loyalty When a Relative is Disfellowshipped." Admittedly this article isnt "new light" it is just re-enforcing the organizations hardline position on the treatment of disfellowshipped / disassocated people. In view of the below listed quotes from the article, Im letting you know that you dont have to worry about how to deal with me, or concern yourself about being put in a compromising position because Im consciously cutting you off - permanently.
-------------------------------------------------
"2. ...Hence, we also avoid social fellowship with an expelled person. This would rule out joining him in a picnic, party, or trip to the shops or theatre or sitting down to a meal with him either in the home or at a restaurant.
"5. ...The fact is that when a Christian gives himself over to sin and has to be disfellowshiped, he forfeits much: his approved standing with God;.. sweet fellowship with the brothers, including much of the association he had with Christian relatives."
"9. ..."The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living, outside the immediate family circle and home," states The Watchtower of April 15, 1988, page 28. "It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum," in harmony with the divine injunction to "quit mixing in company with anyone" who is guilty of sinning unrepentantly. (1 Cor. 5:11) Loyal Christians should strive to avoid needless association with such a relative, even keeping business dealings to an absolute minimum."
-------------------------------------------------
Although the article says "...Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum" I dont even want any minimum contact with you. I refuse to be accepted on a part time or emergency type basis, either you accept whole or dont accept me at all. My stance includes funerals, financial woes, illnesses, etc.
I understand how you have to be loyal to your organization so I do not expect you to change. In fact, you guys belong there. As a conscientious, responsible man who worked and has taken care of my family, giving my children what I never had, I cant not be in the company of people who consider me worthy of destruction, less of a person, thinks I need some type of help, or am someone who "gives himself over to sin ". With that in mind, I consider your company anything but "sweet fellowship." Now that Im on the outside looking in, I cant believe you guys think you are the standard of righteousness - you are far from it.
The mistaken belief of the organization is that shunning is an act of love that will help someone turn from their evil ways. Well let me reassure you that I will NEVER come back to the organization, I see it for what it is and I dont want any part of it. The views that you are forced to live by only makes me resent the fact that I was ever associated with such an organization. In fact, one of my BIGGEST regrets in life was counseling [my wife] while I was an Elder years ago, when her mother was disfellowshipped, advising her that she shouldnt call her mother so often. Im so grateful that [my wife] had enough sense to ignore me.
Ive received a few phone call from some of you guys from time to time, telling me about some family or medical situation and all the while you kept mentioning the reason you called. What kind of conversation is that - Where every other sentence is "well, the only reason Im calling is because..." Its as if someone else was on the other end monitoring the phone call making sure that you dont call me for a normal reason, like to see how Im doing. Ill never forget how Moms was preaching (I call it harassing) [my wife] while I was away in the Army during basic training, saying in effect like you have to be more loyal to the organization than to [me], etc. And how she called the night before [my baby sisters] wedding telling [my wife] she dont think it would be a good idea for us to come to the reception because some of the friends would walk out, etc. Well, you dont ever have to do that again, because Im telling you now - Dont ever call my house for anything.
I would never tell my kids not to talk to you guys, but if you ever talk to my kids, dont dare preach to them. If you think Im part of the Evil Slave Class now, let me catch you preaching to my children. Its bad enough that we have another generation of jw kids thinking they are better than the others by being in the organization. I wouldnt mind if my children would join any other religion but yours. Any religion that break ups families because one members doesnt believe the same myth as you is evil. Shunning takes place in most religions and I think the practice is counter productive, If not out right against all human decency.
You fault me for joining the Military, but I see how the Military rescued my mother when my father died. The Military sent my Moms and each child a check every month after his death. In fact Moms is still benefitting from my fathers pension right now, who knows what other benefits she received. I just want the same benefits for my family. But for me joining the Military, in a non-combatant occupation, it is a major spiritual offense. That reasoning seems very inconsistent. When I joined the Military I had to put someone besides my wife and kids down as a beneficiary , so I naturally picked my mother. But now I have to take her name off - I cant imagine her speaking to me "to an absolute minimum" while Im alive and receiving any benefits from me through my death. Speaking of such, if me and any one in my family dies please dont bother attending the funeral. If you cant talk to me while Im alive dont bother showing your appearance of support later on.
For those of you who says "didnt you know what would happen when you joined the Military." I say, yes I knew the consequences, but you guys have taken the whole thing to another level, going beyond the rules (I know because I had/still have access to the official rules.) Now that I take a closer examination, I see that the position the organization takes towards the disfellowshipped / disassocated ones is really a smoke screen in my situation because it has more to do with our dysfunctional family than with the mad-made rules.
Speaking of man-made rules, I find the organization more culpable than it members, because they have all the control. All they have to do is say jump and the members will say how high. I mean, if the organization says Ok you can talk to disfellowship ones, you would go along with it, just like last year when they said in a Question From Readers that you can pray for disfellowship ones. It seems that you have to wait on them to dictate how you will deal with your family.
It takes an extremely forgiving and humble person to want to be in the company of people who pity them and view them as dangerous. Im not that one. Ive came too far in life to let someone browbeat or try an shame me into submission. The religious blackmail is not working.
To those who say Im demonized, evil , mean spirited, etc. - So be it. If you have to vilify me in order for you to justify your actions let it be. The organization has seen fit to reenforce their stand, which prompts me to reenforce mine. Thus, no hard feelings, we are both doing what we have to do to survive. For those of you who say "but, he knows better" I say - Yes, I know better thats why I left. For those who say "I love you" - Please dont ever say such a thing. You have no concept of what love really is. Love is not phoney hugs or forced greetings - its unconditional acceptance.
In closing, you may say why such anger? I said why not. I cant sit down and express myself to you in person, because itll result in an argument. And since I dont have any destructive habits to release my frustration i.e drinking or drugging, writing is my outlet of choice. I know that the majority of people that is address in this letter wont read pass the first paragraph, if any part of this letter, but Im feeling good about releasing my feelings, writing is truly therapeutic. And since Im not hiding from my pass Im free to write the truth about my feelings.
Take care, it was nice knowing you, the memories were grand, but I dont live in the pass, in the future, or for other people/organization.
Larry
reading farkel's thoughts about being called names, and remembering my own discouragement about the same thing, and thinking about all the posts recently decrying the fighting and bad language, i'm curious to know how my "seeker" persona is perceived here.
i know i have fought with some, made friends with others, so how i am perceived will be varied.
i want to know it all, the good, the bad, the ugly.
Seeker - Thanks for being there when I left the Borg, you and all the folks helped me get through the ordeal. Just as I was helped by your subtle and direct efforts I'm sure many others were helped as well. You are needed in these domains.
I must admit that I'm surprise you even care what other people think of you. That reminds me of what most Borg members are concerned about - the way things look instead of the why things are. In any event, Cheers to the journey b/c the journey is better than the destination.
Peace, My Brother
Larry :)