Mr. Biggs - For what it's worth:
I hear you loud and clear, Outside of this web-site it's a lonely road we travel towards personal freedom, but it's worth the trip. As MLK said "Freedom isn't free."
It's good that you are feeling out your wife, you never know, she might leave with you. After I finally left, I realize that my wife had serious doubts as well, and was only in it to support me as I strived to climb the 'spiritual ladder' to salvation. Often times the other mate is mainly concern about our well being - how this major change in your life will effect you - emotional, spiritual, and financial. Unfortunately, sometimes when one mate leaves or gets booted out of the BORG the mate that's still in gets treated the same as the one that left. So your decision will effect your wife, and she may feel that's it's unfair the way the 'friends' threat her.
As far as leaving or drifting away, I recommend it, at least you will still 'officially' be able speak to JW's. I did the same for a while, but I couldn't take the hypocrisy. I mean, one minute I'm helping out the 'friends' with all kinds of problems - depression, financial woes, suicidal thoughts, marriage and children problems, etc. and the next minute they walk on the other side of the street - and this is immediately after I resign as an Elder. You can imagine how they view me now. I case in point is the day of 9/11. I was in that mess, and as I came home covered with ash and sooth a Dub that lives in my building saw me and turned her head. I figure something like 9/11 would dismantle the shackles of religious ignorance and bring one back to common decency for at least a second or so, but it didn't.
Once a Dub visits and reads anything on this board they will immediately began to doubt - the evidence in this site is too overwhelming. I often say the 'logic' that brought me into the the 'troof' is the same logic that brought me out. It seemd that the same logic is compeling you to make desicions - Do I stay in and be 'people pleasers' or do I leave and be my own person? Hope to see at the Silentlamb March.
Discovering the truth about the troof doesn't stop with the BORG. When you get a chance dig into the roots of all religions and the bible, I'm sure you will find bigger surprises.
Peace - LL