Wow, that is some really twisted thinking - that just because they don't see you at the Hall, you must not be functioning at all. Good for Carrot to fight back. So inappropriate. JW social retardation really shines through again!
Posts by bafh
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24Some snot nosed dubbie.....
by watersprout intoday carrot phoned really angry, one of his customers saw him and said ''oh carrot i haven't seen you in a while (carrot does window cleaning on a weekend to bump up wages.. gotta love being uneducated) i saw that younge man that used to work with you and i asked him if he had seen you and he told me that he was taking over your work, as you weren't doing it anymore''... carrot was like wtfrick!!!!
he explained to his customer that ''no, i am still your window cleaner and i will be round next week''... anyway the customer was really angry as carrot is very well respected by his customer base.
she said that she would be phoning this snot nosed dubbie and telling him she doesn't want him anywhere near her windows.... lol.
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25
Do you still call it The Truth"?
by mamamo ini spent sometime with a fellow ex jw yesterday.
we had grown up in the same congregation and left within a few years ago.
she referred to it as "the truth.
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bafh
I do sometimes as a shorthand handle in conversation only with current JWs, and when it happens it's usually a slip of the tongue. Generally I try to be aware not to use it at all. When I do, it in no way reflects that I think it IS "The Truth."
I'm fading, so I have to be careful to fit in as much as possilbe without going back.
*edited "as a shorthand handle in conversation..."
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19
Tips for Dealing with Controlling People when You can't say drop dead.
by Band on the Run ini was wondering what tips/advice others have gathered from dealing with controlling people(a la jws) when one is enmeshed and can't terminate the relationship?
how do you carve out and maintain boundaries when you must dance with the devil?.
my rage scares me b/c i am reminded of my time in the jws..
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bafh
"I was wondering what tips/advice others have gathered from dealing with controlling people(a la JWs) when one is enmeshed and can't terminate the relationship?"
It seems to me that there are two separate things to be dealt with: 1) enmeshment 2) controlling behaviors
So if you happen to be the person who is enmeshed, that is your issue, not that of the other person. If they display controling behaviors, that is their issue not yours, however you must figure out your boundaries and prepare your responses. This will be difficult if you are enmeshed. So, the enmeshment has to be dealt with first, and that is a personal to the one who is enmeshed.
If this is a work situation, then you could change jobs. But you still need to deal with the issues at hand, otherwise they will re-surface elsewhere in your life.
I only know this from personal experience. Find a good therapist and work on it together. I talk to mine every week. It's been several months, but I finally feel like some progress is getting made. At least I'm not contemplating killing myself all the time, which is a nice repreive.
~ bafh
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19
Tips for Dealing with Controlling People when You can't say drop dead.
by Band on the Run ini was wondering what tips/advice others have gathered from dealing with controlling people(a la jws) when one is enmeshed and can't terminate the relationship?
how do you carve out and maintain boundaries when you must dance with the devil?.
my rage scares me b/c i am reminded of my time in the jws..
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bafh
LV101: I find that talking about things that are actually happening or have happened and how to handle that helps in the application process. That way it's not just abstract conversation. It's also important that you find a really skilled therapist. Frankly, I think cognitive-behavioral therapy or something along those lines is one of the most effective.
~bafh
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19
Tips for Dealing with Controlling People when You can't say drop dead.
by Band on the Run ini was wondering what tips/advice others have gathered from dealing with controlling people(a la jws) when one is enmeshed and can't terminate the relationship?
how do you carve out and maintain boundaries when you must dance with the devil?.
my rage scares me b/c i am reminded of my time in the jws..
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bafh
LV101: I find that talking about things that are actually happening or have happened and how to handle that helps in the application process. That way it's not just abstract conversation. It's also important that you find a really skilled therapist. Frankly, I think cognitive-behavioral therapy or something along those lines is one of the most effective.
~bafh
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19
Tips for Dealing with Controlling People when You can't say drop dead.
by Band on the Run ini was wondering what tips/advice others have gathered from dealing with controlling people(a la jws) when one is enmeshed and can't terminate the relationship?
how do you carve out and maintain boundaries when you must dance with the devil?.
my rage scares me b/c i am reminded of my time in the jws..
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bafh
Get a good therapist that you can discuss the issues with. It's helping me quite a bit.
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98
JW Women Self-0Loathing - Get a Back Bone
by Band on the Run inan earlier thread about pants suits for women led me on this tangent.
women make up the majorty of witnesses.
they cannot be suppressed without their acquiescene.
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bafh
The other thing I think that contributes to the way men and women interact is the inherit emotional needs of men. By this I mean that men are driven to acheive status, and usually this is done at work. But, because they are encouraged not to be educated or to pursue a career, the only place for status left is within the organization. So you have ego starved men "reaching out" for the only allowable status by becoming a MS, Elder, CO, etc.
In my opinion, when you give uneducated, ego-starved men a little power and control (i.e. headship and teaching), the tendancy is to misuse it because they are desperate to keep it. So they become harsh, self-serving, and rigid. The rare elders or MS who are balanced, kind and loving often are men who have some level of status outside of the congregation, through success in a business, career, or profession. They tend to view the "position" in the congregation as a way to really serve others instead of a way to unconsciously satisfy their ego.
Of course, men and women suffer because of how things are set up and are prevented from having authentic relationships with each other. So, it's not US vs. Them. There are no winners here, only losers.
~bafh
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8
Is it true that only the awake will be to the public
by Dudu inand the watchtower magazine will be only the one for study?.
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bafh
I first heard 1975 during a lecture that Freddie Franz gave at Yankee Stadium. He made the point that the world was not ready for this information. It was only for JWs. We were never to tell outsiders about the 1975 prediction.
If the way you remember this is true, that is such a contradiction to the idea that we are responsible for the salvation of others through preaching. So which is it: a BIG secret only for JWs, or a life saving message that we are responsible to share?? So confusing!
~bafh
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98
JW Women Self-0Loathing - Get a Back Bone
by Band on the Run inan earlier thread about pants suits for women led me on this tangent.
women make up the majorty of witnesses.
they cannot be suppressed without their acquiescene.
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bafh
In reading through the thread, I think part of the issue with how women are treated and what's expected of men is because we are looking at the social structure presented in the Bible without considering the social context at the time, and through our own social structure now.
One of the hallmarks of Jesus ministry was his kind,loving and considerate treatment of women as equals. That was in fact a break from the social habits and tradition of the time. In fact, it was quite a big deal that Jesus' resurrection was revealed to women first, and not to men ~ and it may have been one of the reasons that the report was not believed at first.
Carefull examination of the early congregation shows that as congregations were formed, women played an important part there too. They took part in ministry, teaching and even hosting congregations in their homes. Of course, at that time, each congregation had more autonomy as well.
There are layers of issues with interpreting the Bible. Questions we might need to ask are:
1) "What did these events mean to the people who experienced them? What was happening to them socially, politically, economically, at the time?"
2) "What did these event mean to the people who wrote down or documented the experience?What was happening to them socially, politically, economically, at the time?"
3) "What do these events mean to the people who are reading about them?What was happening to them socially, politically, economically, at the time?"
Answering these questions leads us to look at language (both the original languages and the one we are using now) to see where meanings of words and understanding them in mondern language line up or need to be adjusted, and to consider what these events, words, stories meant to the people in the document, not using what it would mean to us if it happened to us now, but what it meant in context for them at the time.
One piece of information that really changed the way I read the Bible is that Jews during the time of Christ were under Roman law, and viewed as slaves. Next time you read the NT, notice how much slave language there is ~ it's not an accident.
As far as our social structure now, White Straight Men without any perceived disability or weakness, are at the top followed by white women, black men, [I could have this off in the order] but there is a social order that is followed in the world in general, and when you shrink that down to the microcosm of a congregation it gets worse. Add on top of that lack of education and any social awareness, and it becomes what we experience as a JW today.
They give lip service to being socially aware, but the truth is that they are not and they do nothing to encourage the congregants to become so since everything "out there" is dangerous.
my .02 cents
~ bafh
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8
Does anyone have a scan of the October 2011 KM?
by VM44 indoes anyone have a scan of the october 2011 km?.
i understand there are statements made by the watchtower about "higher education" in it..
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bafh
How were you able to download it from the site? I tried but couldn't locate it. Do you have congregation access?