Velour

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Posts by Velour

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  64

  JW nephew graduation party cancelled... your insight is requested

  by Alfred in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a jw nephew in another state who was at very the top of his high school senior class this year.

  because of this, my sister (an elder's wife) had planned and sent out invitations to his "graduation party" which would be held at a community center with all the bells and whistles.

  i actually bought plane tickets for my wife and i to attend this party immediately after receiving the invitation in the mail.

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  Velour

  My apologies for my statement. I really do not have all of the information needed to make such a statement. I only have my own experience and knowledge of how things were handled in the area I was in. It was not uncommon for the MS and Elders in my area to treat their own family harsher than other members in the cong in order to show that they have their family under control and are still able to lead the rest of the cong. I was constantly reminded by my father how everything I did reflected on him and affected his position, mostly because he was reminded all the time as well. As he reached out for more and more "privledges" in the congregation he became more and more strict and exacting.

  A few months before I left, his paranoia about being a stumbling to others in the congreagation became extreme. He told my family to stop commenting so much at the meetings because other elders told him that my family were mic hogs, as if the study overseer didn't have a choice and just HAD to call on my family. My sisters and I weren't allowed to wear our hair natural, heads full of curls, because it would look like he couldn't even get his daughters to groom themselves properly. If my little brother did anything percieved as "gay" (mind you, he's the baby brother of 3 sisters) like play dolls or sway his hips, he had to go to whoever witnessed his actions and apologize. Another family, in a congregation we were in for a few years, had 3 young children, when other kids played after the meetings, these young kids were not allowed to join in, they had to stay with one of their parents and listen to the adults talk about "spiritually upbuilding" things. In this same congregation, an elder would make his 8 year old son stand at the end of the isle in front of everyone if he fell asleep in the meeting. Embarrassment is a terrible discipline tool. I know another young guy, in a different congregation, who spent time in high school rebuilding an old chevy. After he graduated his elder father made him sell it to get a more reliable and accommodating service car.

  I've seen parents dismiss their children for the sake of theocracy and not stumbling anyone in the congregation.

  Again, however, just because I only have this limited knowledge doesn't make it right of me to broadly paint all situations like this. I certainly didn't mean to offend and my apologies for doing that.
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  98

  New here

  by Tuber in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey all.. .

  thought i'd introduce myself.. .

  first, a disclaimer: i'm an athiest.. .

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  Velour

  Hi and welcome to the forum.

  Definitely keeping it to a question and answer format will be best. Pick out questions on topics she's interested in, topics that seem to have drawn her into this cult. It looks like from her post that she's retaliating against the lies and actions of one religion, her past religion maybe, and also has an interest in these "signs of the last days" (Matthew chapter 24 is where they get the bulk of these signs) http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/last-days.php

  It's hard to get someone in this cult to look at the past actions of it. It's especially frustrating if she's more than willing to look at the past actions of one religion to condemn it but not this cult.

  For an adult going into this, it's near impossible to turn them back. Unlike young children who trust parents and adults, leaving them vulnerable to indoctrination, they willingly suspend their urge to question and choose to be lead along with feel-good pie-in-the-sky lies and love bombing. I would focus on helping your younger siblings develop critical thinking skills at this point.

  Sorry you're here with the rest of us, frustrated at our families living their short lives inside a d*mn book publshing cult. Welcome, nonetheless.
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  74

  What is the most offensive/idiotic piece of WT literature you've read from the past 20 years (approximately)?

  by Chemical Emotions in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i think that some of the dumbest were ones that pertained to science- not all of them, but a few, particularly the ones about evolution.

  the most offensive (and also dumbest) were the ones about women, and the ones about rape.

  those were horrible.

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  Velour

  This article gives "advise" to those who have been molested or sexually abused in some way: http://www.watchtower.org/e/19951101a/article_01.htm

  After I read it I cried in complete disgust. On top of the terrible advise, they keep referring to painful recollections of rape and abuse as (with quotes) "repressed memories" "memories". I can just see the elders doing finger quotes to mock these painful recollections a person has.

  Here's some lowlights from the article:

  "...an accusation should not be made hastily if it is based solely on "repressed memories" of abuse. In this case the most important thing is for the sufferer to regain a degree of emotional stability. After the passage of some time, he may be in a better position to assess the "memories" and decide what, if anything, he wants to do about them."

  "Eventually, you may be content to let the matter drop. If, though, you want to confront the alleged perpetrator (after first assessing how you would feel about the possible responses), you have a right to do so." WTF?! They have to hash over how things will turn out. Shouldn't they feel confident they'll be heard and supported while this is investigated?!

  "For example, an individual may have vivid mental images of being molested by someone he or she sees every day. No rules can be laid down for handling this. "Each one will carry his own load." ( Galatians 6:5 ) Sometimes one may feel that a relative or a member of one's immediate family is involved. Remember the dubious nature of some "repressed memories" when it comes to identifying the one suspected of being a perpetrator. In such a situation, as long as the matter has not been firmly established, keeping contact with the family—at least by occasional visits, by letter, or by telephone—would show that one is trying to follow a Scriptural course."

  "Then the two elders can advise him that, in line with the principle at Matthew 18:15 , he should personally approach the accused about the matter. If the accuser is not emotionally able to do this face-to-face, it can be done by telephone or perhaps by writing a letter. In this way the one accused is given the opportunity to go on record before Jehovah with his answer to the accusation. He may even be able to present evidence that he could not have committed the abuse. Or perhaps the one accused will confess, and a reconciliation may be achieved. What a blessing that would be! If there is a confession, the two elders can handle matters further in accordance with Scriptural principles." REALLY?! You want them to go face to face and say, "I remember you raping me." What a crock of sh**!!!

  If the accusation is denied, the elders should explain to the accuser that nothing more can be done in a judicial way. And the congregation will continue to view the one accused as an innocent person. The Bible says that there must be two or three witnesses before judicial action can be taken. ( 2 Corinthians 13:1 ; 1 Timothy 5:19 ) Even if more than one person "remembers" abuse by the same individual, the nature of these recalls is just too uncertain to base judicial decisions on them without other supporting evidence. This does not mean that such "memories" are viewed as false (or that they are viewed as true). But Bible principles must be followed in establishing a matter judicially.

  What if the one accused—though denying the wrongdoing—is really guilty? Does he "get away with it," as it were? Certainly not! The question of his guilt or innocence can be safely left in Jehovah's hands.

  I'm so disgusted!!!

  And they finish it with this ass backwards advise to the victim

  "When dedicated souls endure in the face of great physical or emotional pain, what an evidence it is of their inner strength and love for God! And what a testimony to the power of Jehovah's spirit to sustain them!—Compare 2 Corinthians 4:7 ." Shut the f*** up. If you can't shut up and take it then you show what a weakling spiritually you are. Oh, and you hate god.

  This was an article on the main "Topics" page a few weeks ago so they're still going with the 2 or more witnesses to the same act (Hey, bro I'm gunna go rape a young boy, wanna go?). They're telling the public that that rule has gone by the way-side and it counts as 2 or more witnesses if the same person is accused by 2 different people but that's not the case if they're showing this BS to the flock on the inside. I'm more and more pissed.
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  29

  I miss my dad and I can't stop crying about it

  by Velour in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so recently, i've had this urge to write to my father.

  i couldn't quite pinpoint why i would try when i know he wouldn't read it and we aren't even that close.. over the years, before i left, my father and i could not relate to each other and we quit trying.

  he was always so busy writting and preparing for talks.

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  Velour

  Thank you all so very much for the hugs and advice. I certainly need the support. Just when you think you're doing alright... Thanks for your quick reply Talesin. I was so upset I couldn't respond but I read it and I'm glad to get such quick support.

  My father's cult personality is his personality. I doubt that I'll ever see him again. He's the most devout man I've ever seen. He's so intense that even good JW elders in his cong won't be close friends with him. You're right Sir, he has a past that will keep him trapped in that religion for the rest of his life.

  Thank you so much Unshackled for your link to your post. This is exactly why I came here. I knew that everyone here can relate to losing someone dear to them to this cult. It's not something anyone presently around me can really understand though they try, and I appreciate it.

  I will continue to write him Jean Luc and Witness. At least, for my part, should something happen to him, I'll know I did what I could to reach out to him and include him and my family in my life.

  Thanks for the post Sam =) Beautiful song
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  46

  reading a life time of WT literatrash = College education

  by Free!! in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  or at least that's what my super jw ex-roommate told me when i try to have an adult discussion w her about the importance of a higher education... according to her (a girl that never finished hs because it was not necessary) she has a better education than any college graduate because the jehovah has used the borg literatrash to teach her many many important things.... she says her knowledge of the "truth" is the equivalent of my 4 years of college education..... .

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  is there a cure for stupid???!!

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  Velour

  She can write that on her resume!
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  64

  JW nephew graduation party cancelled... your insight is requested

  by Alfred in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a jw nephew in another state who was at very the top of his high school senior class this year.

  because of this, my sister (an elder's wife) had planned and sent out invitations to his "graduation party" which would be held at a community center with all the bells and whistles.

  i actually bought plane tickets for my wife and i to attend this party immediately after receiving the invitation in the mail.

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  Velour

  It's unfair to punish someone for typical feelings. It really takes a special kind of robot to be a perfect JW.

  Please encourage him to go to college and, if possible, as far away from his parents as he can get. I'm sure he feels trapped. He's been a good boy all his life and done everything his parents and his God want. And now, for having a natural connection to a pretty girl, all of his accomplishments are being thrown out and forgotten. Get this guy out of there.

  What is more is, I'm sure his father is being so extreme because he wants to protect his own position as an elder in the congregation. He'll hang his son out to dry just so he can show the rest of the congregation that he's a super awesome JW.

  When pieces of trash manipulators who are lead by feelings of jealousy have more power in the congregation than good and decent human beings you know there's nothing divine there.
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  54

  Growing up a Jehovah's Witness - New Video

  by jwfacts in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i have put together a video - growing up a jehovah's witness 1960 -2010. it aims to show the things a witnesses would be taught as they age over those decades.

  it is 15 minutes long.

  this is my first attempt at a video and it took a while to work out how to use final cut, so please feel free to make suggestions if anything should be changed.

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  Velour

  Thank you for this
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  29

  I miss my dad and I can't stop crying about it

  by Velour in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so recently, i've had this urge to write to my father.

  i couldn't quite pinpoint why i would try when i know he wouldn't read it and we aren't even that close.. over the years, before i left, my father and i could not relate to each other and we quit trying.

  he was always so busy writting and preparing for talks.

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  Velour

  So recently, I've had this urge to write to my father. I couldn't quite pinpoint why I would try when I know he wouldn't read it and we aren't even that close.

  Over the years, before I left, my father and I could not relate to each other and we quit trying. He was always so busy writting and preparing for talks. He did a group bible study at the local prison (an hour away) every week that he had to prepare for and then conduct. He had responsibilities at the KH to take care of. He always prepped for field service. He was always studying for family bible study. In fact, that was probably the only time we, his family of 5, really saw him. All of this on top of the 60hrs/week he worked. Conversations with him were awkward because it always turned into talking to Gray, the JW preacher who's bound to teach you more and more about Jehovah and the scriptures, instead of a simple conversation with my father. We weren't close.

  But it hit me yesterday that THAT is exactly why I've been wanting to contact him. I miss my dad. I've been missing him for years, long before I left the borg.

  Before the family became JW, even though my father was a bad man, he tried to be the best father he could be to me. I sensed that. I knew that if I needed him he would always do whatever was in his power to provide for me and be here for me. Though, he was a druggie and beat my step mother silly, I never felt threatened by him and oddly enough, I guess because I was his little girl, he was my hero that I could always talk to. I'm a daddy's girl and my heart is very wrapped up in pleasing my father.

  The JW made him a great JW but they stole my father. He quit being available to me. The light conversations we had and the Saturday morning cartoons we watched together were replaced by him urging me to do more and more for Jehovah, and Saturday mornings replaced by him critiquing our presentations. The bond between us weakened.

  This shunning by him is painful. I want to cling to my dad and for the first time in my life he's pushing me away.

  Over the past 2 days I've realized- I miss my dad. I've been missing him for years and I can't stop crying about it.
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  14

  You should eat this cake. Are you gay?

  by Cali Guy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  that question has been asked to me countless times ever since i can remember.

  (the gay part, haha.

  ) reluctantly, i would quickly put an end to their thinkg with a swift, "no".. four days ago, after a couple of very strenuous months (years if you count the time i didn't except myself), i came out to my cousin (roommate).

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  Velour

  Hot post.

  I think many of us will remember those days (or weird nights) when we are closer to being and accepting who we are.
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  6

  A hearty laugh for this atheist ^_^

  by Velour in

  1. social
  2. humour

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  Velour