Posts by confusednsad

27

Did you ever shun someone close? How did you feel?

by jean-luc picard in

jw
friends

how does a jw feel when he "has" to shun someone he likes/loves?.

during the time i was in, i shunned people.

but as i didn't like them, it was no problem.. but now, i'm trying to understand how my family might really feel.. (i presume here, of course, that they do "like/love me".).

Did you ever shun someone close? How did you feel?

by jean-luc picard in

jw
friends

how does a jw feel when he "has" to shun someone he likes/loves?.

during the time i was in, i shunned people.

but as i didn't like them, it was no problem.. but now, i'm trying to understand how my family might really feel.. (i presume here, of course, that they do "like/love me".).

The Effects of JW Child Abuse into Adulthood

by PublishingCult in

my two oldest brothers, jim and ron, were coerced into baptism when they were but 10 and 11 years old.. .

they were indoctrinated heavily, of course, and they tried to toe the line and be good little jw boys as best two unruly fatherless boys could.

the nature of a boy won out and they both got into some mischief about a year later.

I am so sorry to read about your brother. I was raised as a JW as well, and we were all involved growing up. As an adult I have been disfellowshipped twice (currently still am) I understand 100% how your brother felt... I too have suffered with depression all of my life because of feeling guilty for not finding 'joy' as a witness... and being disfellowshipped I felt like I was the same as 'dead'. There was no hope, so no reason to find joy in anything... as I was going to die anyways. I could not explain to friends (and boyfriend) what it felt like to have no future to look forward to. They just could not understand why I could not just stop thinking the way I did. I often tell people that were not raised as JWs that nobody can understand what it is like unless you have been there. There is a certain pull they have... any help you try to find in the 'world' is considered from Satan. Any books (or heaven forbid - a site like this!) where I might find comfort or like thinking - is from Satan. So how can someone get help with that concept in the back of our mind. It is a deep sadness ... deepest inside.

However... I went to a wonderful counsellor last year, and let me tell you... she opened my eyes. It isn't easy to let go of something you've been told all your life.. but I feel so much better now. I see JWs differently now. I raise my two younger kids differently than I did my oldest. (one daughter - 26 never did take to the JWs (thankfully) but other daughter, 28, has been a regular pioneer for years and just had a baby 2 months ago. She won't have anything to do with me, and I have never met my grand-daughter) I do not want my younger kids (age 11 and 16) to be a part of that group. It has divided our family. My counsellor helped me find my own strength again, and to deal with the 'shunning' from past friends and family. She helped me to let go of my guilt, and to see that there are many other possibilities in the future, and that I was so limited in my spiritual education. It is like I had to 'deprogram' myself. I also found a wonderful book in the library that opened my eyes... 'Awakening of a Jehovah's Witness'.

Being shunned as an adult is extremely difficult, but being shunned as a child... wow... that is wrong! that is abusive. I cannot know how a child would be able to grow with self-esteem and confidence. All children deserve love and acceptance and open arms. It makes me so sad to think of a child growing up disfellowshipped. I think it is very wrong when children get baptized. My brothers kids all got baptized young. He was so proud. I am so worried - they havent even gone through their teen years yet!

Im so sorry about your brother. His life experience will teach someone... something good will come about because of your brother's experience. Possibly someone will read your post and have a change of heart, or know a child in a similar situation that they can help.

Thank you for sharing your pain. Im so sorry for you, and his partner and children. I'm sure he was a wonderful man and father, and will be greatly missed. My heart goes out to you and his family. Will be thinking about you all.

33

The Pressure Is On to Pioneer in April

by dontplaceliterature in

jw
friends

i know there have already been a couple of threads posted about this, but i thought it made since to bring it up again.

i hadn't really heard any "oh my what a blessing, are you pioneering in april?

" talk right after the big announcement last month.

confusednsad

miseryloveselders... you are hilarious.... been there done that. (the living on both sides of the fence and drinking my face off to deal with the guilt) wow.... I truly relate

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