Sounds like you have a good handle on this situation already. You have learned his qualities, seen his track record, seen how he was raised in that his family is the same. His boundaries lie in a different place then yours, his comfort zone is at a different place then yours. You are uncomfortable with his work ethics. You might try both seeing a councilor together. He needs to understand how uncomfortable you are with this situation. It sounds like it will probably crop up again and again in your relationship with other issues. The big question is this, is this situation a relationship breaker? If he never changes will you be able to deal with it for a lifetime, at least till the kids leave home? Can you still love him and accept him exactly as he is? Without constantly pushing him to change, because this will cause the relationship to suffer if a middle ground cannot be negoiciated. Middle ground suggests you must both stretch a little, if he will not strech then can you strech the whole distance? The greatest Love is found in accepting someone as they are, if this is not possible and no compromise can be reached then sometimes it is better to break up rather then endure a life of fighting worry and discomfort. Really, a councilor could help you decide this, if nothing else you will learn something valuable for your next relationship.
libra_spirit
JoinedPosts by libra_spirit
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21
I really need your advice on this!
by sunshineToo inif your boyfriend refuses to go to college, what do you do?.
for his job, he really needs a college degree.
but he said that there is something about "being at school".
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I really need your advice on this!
by sunshineToo inif your boyfriend refuses to go to college, what do you do?.
for his job, he really needs a college degree.
but he said that there is something about "being at school".
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libra_spirit
He isn't going to do it for you. He needs to do it for him. Untill he is ready to do it for him, he needs to figure out what he wants. You need to let him find himself, unfortunately where does that put your relationship? A good relationship can only be built on two people who have thier own centers of power. Untill he finds stability in his center of self how can he give a mate security? Today women and men are equals, don't start to carry his weight or it may never end. Talk about this with him and listen to what he is saying, understand his point of view then decide what you can deal with. Do not believe that you can do it all for him, you will become overtaxed and resent him for it later. Only you can measure the balance between love and work, education and capabilities, and what you will live with in the future. If he has a pychological problem, urge him to see a councilor. A lot of EX-JW's have a resentment to reading history or english, it brings back uncomfortable memories from childhood. And sitting through long lectures can almost put some of us right to sleep in a sitting position. I didn't re aquire my ability to read history till later in life when I began to find it intresting. Just the word "study" can induce a state of instant boredom! Now days I love to study internet and computer technolodgy, I can even sit down and write my thoughts up in a report. I'm certain if I stepped into a kingdom hall I would instantly regain my ability to fall asleep after the first paragraph.
Good Luck
Edited by - libra_spirit on 31 July 2002 2:18:58
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Time For A Break
by DakotaRed inthere comes a time when everyone needs a break.
that time has come for me.
i enjoy corresponding with one and all, but due to having so many other things to do; i feel the need to get busy doing them.
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libra_spirit
DakotaRed,
The short I have been on here this time, I have enjoyed your comments, have a good break.
Dave
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Jw chatup lines!!!!!!!
by haujobbz in.
what chatup lines do you think jws were most likely to use to pull at say an assembly,mmmmm i wonder if they prepared them like say doing a talk,i bet they did because most i knew seemed under pressure to meet someone and a lot of ones i knew never pulled at assemblys due to such boring conversations with others, i mean what could they talk about.
so cmon what chatup lines are likely to work.
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libra_spirit
I want your sex!
Actually speech is so controlled there you could only really communicate with your eyes or your smile. You could try the "I can't live without you" desperate stair. However it would not succeed because all the women there want a man who is authoratative and controlling. How about the glassy "you aren't good enough for me gaze" just over the top of thier head. My friend had em lined up with that one. Then there is the "I could probably help you look" if she could think of something to ask you for help with. All the really successfull relationships in the JW's seem to be where one person is above the other, or standing in thier shadow.
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Writing Better Letters
by metatron inno doubt you may be sickened by fawning, prepackaged press releases.
about jw's at conventions, that carefully sidestep the reality of.
being a witness.. maybe you would like to write a letter to the editor?
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libra_spirit
Nice letter can I use this one?
I have already failed to get one in our local paper, dealing with the practice of Shunning, and an old friend who died and no one went to the funeral or grieved him. Possibly I was trying too hard, I don't know. They didn't publish it however the gal who read it at the paper office cried after reading it.
Nice job, did you have any success getting this one printed?
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What is your definition of........
by SpiceItUp in......beauty?.
i know the whole sentiment of beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
even rod sterling had his say on the matter (boy i loved that episode).. what is beautiful in your opinion?
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libra_spirit
A beautiful face is like a mirror, reflecting everything dear to me back at myself so I may enjoy it. Everything I love exists in it. Then I get to know the person...LOL and then the mirror slowly gives a clearer picture and gives way to all the uglyness that is within me, all my faults become visible to me in infinite detail. The deeper I longed for it, now the more uglyness pain and sorrow from my own blemishes. As I continue to gaze into the beauty, it changes to loathing until full payment is rendered, a balance of good and evil, pleasure and pain, love and sorrow fully expierenced..........then I realize that it does not matter at all, for beauty is temporary and passing away. It is a temporary hypnosis, that removes or inhibits your freedom, which all sucumb to worshipping at some point in thier lives, and that is good!
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HELP!!!! I NEED FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!
by Prisila ini really need your feedback .
i am really down on the dumps regarding being shunned and torn apart about da (i haven't yet).
a week ago i wrote to dr. phil on oprah and wrote briefly about jw practices on shunning.
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libra_spirit
You are the perfect subject to go on the show, however there will be no going back. I suggest you put your fate in Gods hands and give it your best shot. It will not have any effect on how deeply you are to be shunned, evil doers are shunned just the same as smokers, or anyone who no longer accepts the doctrine(apostates). All are equally deserving of "death and hate" to the JW's. It is questioning the Elders power which is the true reason we all get expelled from the JW church, and questioning the Orgs total power over us.
If you are unsure and scattered on this, then the Org has succedded in keeping you in a state of doubt and fear.
I send you my Love and strength and support, if you choose to go through with this.
Hugs,
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Prayer does it work for you?
by haujobbz inhello everyone more questions as usual, do you think praying ever helped you or was it just like talking to the air, its funny because when i was i jw i did pray a lot and convinced myself it worked,but now i think about it, did it help me or was it what i wanted to believe.i mean i always seemed to say to myself b4 yeh praying really helps me in my life and when things went right 4 me like maybe being regular as a preacher,at meetings,and doing whats was right, i felt my prayers were answered but i think these things happened because i wanted them to be that way not because of praying you know like the placebo effect.you see just because you pray 4 something and coincidently it happens does it mean your prayers worked.
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libra_spirit
One,
You are correct all these things can be explained with other scientific "possibilities", however what can not be explained by science is how it works, at least at the present, let alone teach anyone about it scientifically.
In my karate class we would do a sensitivity training excersise, that absolutely showed me that we can not explain it with body launguage or speech inflections. It really comes down to intent, and the way we can percieve it is not explainable with present science. Four people in katrate Gi's (white uniforms) standing motionless around a fifth person in the middle with a blindfold on. The person in the middle can without fail 100 percent of the time idendify which one of the four has the intent of attacking him, without anyone even moving. Many explain it differently, as a feeling of pressure, or electricity, or heat, but the one thing they all manage to feel is the intent to do harm. Most students find this ability very surprising at first. Karate people are usually pretty good about not sending any physical messages about what they are about to do, much of the training is learning to recognise these movements that would signal your opponent as to what you are thinking. However when one learns to feel the intent of another towards them it impacts thier lives and most take the ability outside the dojo into thier lives.
I think someday when we have instrument that can measure these forces, that we can so easily feel if we just attempt to with an opened mind, they may enter the realm of science. How do you write a formula for something like intent, or love, or hate? It is a false sense of security to think we can understand this stuff with our present scientific quantifiable models. For now we can only rely on the people who have worked with these forces, those are the meditators and spiritualists who work with them. You can try it for yourself and see what works for you, or you can ignor it. From karate truths to Reiki healing arts to touch for health, to prayer, sending love to others has provided many with a much richer existence. Why are all these things consider as demonism to JW's?
Like I said before though, the JW's have mutated prayer into a control issue where you must first seek forgiveness of guilt, then limiting Spirit to a one sided battle of them against the world. I would expect most XJW's, like I was, would get a very sour feeling when even talking about it let alone become adventerous enough to try it again expecting a positave expierence from it. I'm just have to tell others here that it is something that can be positive if used with a more opened and self loving approach. If you still have all those guilt feelings, then the prayers won't work at all because you will never allow them to manifest because you will never believe that you are worthy. On the soul level we are all equals and we are all worthy and that is the starting point for Spirituality and that is what the JW's seek to hide from us instilling fear and guilt so they may keep us questioning ourselves and trusting only in them. That is Spiritual abuse.
Wow maybe I am a "Patriot"....LOL
Edited by - libra_spirit on 28 July 2002 19:40:57
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Prayer does it work for you?
by haujobbz inhello everyone more questions as usual, do you think praying ever helped you or was it just like talking to the air, its funny because when i was i jw i did pray a lot and convinced myself it worked,but now i think about it, did it help me or was it what i wanted to believe.i mean i always seemed to say to myself b4 yeh praying really helps me in my life and when things went right 4 me like maybe being regular as a preacher,at meetings,and doing whats was right, i felt my prayers were answered but i think these things happened because i wanted them to be that way not because of praying you know like the placebo effect.you see just because you pray 4 something and coincidently it happens does it mean your prayers worked.
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libra_spirit
There is a model of prayer in almost every religion, I do believe in it's power having tried many different ways of doing it. The idea that thier is a connection between our mind and the "Light" or our "Guiding Spirit" and that no one can step between us and God is a very powerful belief. The problem comes in how you try to define this connection because as soon as you put limits on it, it looses it's power. The Dubs would have us believe that God will only provide for us if we are in good standing with them and asking for help with the preaching work. They have set too many limits on you to ever have it become a practice that works for you. Eckankar gave me one of my most spiritual expierences with the simple act of sitting silent and sending the intent of Love to God, or chanting Hu while sending the same intent. Witchcraft allows you to expierement with becomming cause, or spell casting, this is neither good nor evil but demonstraights how it is possible to effect events by placing your "intent" into the spiritual realm. I have found this kind of thing is most effective when dealing with human relationships, basically, you get what you ask for, so learn from your mistakes "what" to ask for, Spirit will provide it. Sincerely turning to whatever is your personal version of God or sacredness and asking for a relationship, and adding the emotional yearning for it, then release it to the universe to bring it in to you, does work. Never try to limit Spirit too narrowly, by stating "who" it will bring in though, or limit it to exactly what you think you want. Give Spirit some room to work and things happen more quickly. When you become specifically focused on any one person or thing then you are trying to control others and remove thier freedom of choice, and this is what I call black magic. I have no ability to prove this to you it is only your own expierence that will convince your mind to accept it as possible. Belief that you are worthy of recieving it is also an obstical, but the universe will respond if you give it a chance to, simply because of the underlying Love that is the constant in every system of prayer.
If nothing else prayer allows you to at least see where you are at. As you talk to your God and dump your problems on him, and ask for his Unconditional Love to help you grow and solve these problems, it greatly helps you to understand your problems and deal with them in a more intellegent and Loving way. Connecting with your "inner guidance" can become a 2way communication if you learn to listen and be open to it. This is truly a psychic sensitivity. If you cannot feel the presence of Spirit, then you may not be connecting with it. It is something you must choose to seek for a time. The deeper your meditation and the more you bring in the Light of Spirit, the faster the communication and the "knowing" will come to you. Prolonged meditation or prayer about an issue in your life, with the invitation to your Higher Spirit to help you will produce a clarity of mind and focus that can make changes, particularly with other people and relationships.
Prayer is an expierement in excersising the connection between mind and God or the Spiritual Universe. It is either real or it is not. The power is in the "intent" and the proof is in the "expierence". Self worth is essential, and Love is the current that will energize and bring life into it. You can connect to almost anyone psychicly simply by sending them Unconditional Love. The connection of Love you have with family often brings you information this way, even to the point of knowing when they are thinking about you, or when they are in pain. So it stands to reason that the "intent" and the "emotion" of your prayers will effect those around you. People can feel if you intend them harm, or if you intend them Love. They do not know how they know but they do feel it.
Good luck with your endeavor.
Dave L
Edited by - libra_spirit on 27 July 2002 20:7:4
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C Q ***HOW MANY HERE ARE....***
by zev inhams?
i mean the amatuer radio type, not the oink oink piggly wiggly type.
don't give yourself away with your callsigns here....maybe we can communicate by email?
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libra_spirit
Funny you should ask, I used to be into it a bit. I got my Novice and held it for 5 years or so, I made 10 or so contacts with that extremely slow mode of communicating called CW! I enjoyed building projects mostly and tunning up my antenna systems. Then the internet came along and now the hobby lies dormant. I used to think it was very magical to communicate over hundreds of miles on a radio, bypassing the long distance charges of telephone communications, the internet has removed that feeling also.....
The old days were fun, the old ham radio group in town was a good group of people. But the net is way more fun and one hell of a lot cheaper! With the cost of a good "rig" now up into the thousands, and the cost of a good PC now well below a thousand, well I just had to switch over.