Well AE, you said no one helped you but Jah. So if you've finally figured out he's all you need ... why return to those whom you do not need nor were there to help you?
I figured it out a long long time ago. Satying with Jah and your core beliefs does not mean staying with those who are a "downer" to your mental health.
Leaving them in no way shape or form equates to leaving Jah ... no matter how much someone says it is.
You are perplexed ... because had a a far more sustaining and closer relationship with Jah when you weren't aroung JWs.
Admit it.
PS. Some of the people here are totally out of line to the point of nasty. Why treat someone as nasty as you claim to have been treated? Is that supposed to be helpful?