Welcome to a great online family. We may not all agree with one another but to help each other is something we all agree with. What strike me as complete BS is how hard you try, how humble and compassionate you are and the virtues you demonstrate most religious people fail miserably at, yet your holier-than-thou wife commits adulatory, gets reinstated and stil proceeds to act like she is better than you. I may get a reply lashing for this, but like my ex wife, your wife may have some deep seated psychological issues but she is toxic nonetheless. In fact, your entire predicament is toxic.
You my friend are in a terrible situation but I guarantee you if you cut the umbilical chord tethering you to that vile cult and a twisted wife, life may be tough for a while but would inevitably turn out for the best and your life would eventually improve dramatically. Seek help and encourage her to do the same while ignoring the vitriol from her father and congregation which is sure to ensue.
Give some serious thought about what is making your life miserable and come up with a plan to set in motion.