I rectified it years ago when I went to a class reunion. I became involved in planning the next two. What a great group of people they are, and some are now friends. They always liked me in school anyway, but wondered why I couldn't do the things they did. I was such a wall-flower then to begin with. It was nice though, for me to tell them and get that out of the way, and for them to accept me so readily into their fold. We have shared some nice times since.
Lindy
Posts by Lindy
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13Tell Old School Friends That You've Left?
by Englishman insome of the uk national newspapers have been referring to the web-site at http://friendsreunited.co.uk/, where thousands and thousands of brits have been getting back in touch with old school friends.. just out of curiosity i decided to take a peek.
well, i was stunned.
many long-forgotten class-mates had my mind leaping back to the early 60s, particularly when they mentioned the weird nicknames that we had given to our teachers.. the french master, froggy fleuriot, mousy mclaughlan with his rats teeth, bummer burrell well, i will leave that one to your imagination.
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Lindy
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8
Ouija boards
by jolly_green_giant ini'd like some feedback from any of you guys who've used ouija boards.
i havent tried yet myself but plan to sometime in the near future.
most people who i talked to that have used them said they've usually got negative feedback from the spirits.
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Lindy
Rem,
I read "Carl Sagan's Demon Haunted World" and found it very interesting. It is a good read for any JW or ExJw. It sure clears up the demon stuff and a bunch of other things. Makes one think and helps you to become a critical thinker. Of course that is something that the Society fears the most, that JW's just might start to use their brains. No "independent thinking."
Lindy -
20
Total combined number of years out for community
by Celtic incould everyone just give me the figure for the number of years they have been out?
what is our total in years of combined experience here?.
me 7 years.
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Lindy
Stopped going 6 years ago. Started fading several years before that.
Lindy
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"Scene of the world is changing"
by Blackcat ini recently had the pleasure of working on a house which also had a visit from the jw,s.. as i was working away, i had a "listening ear" or should i say i overheard bits of the conversation, the main sentence being from the male jdub...." the scene of the world is changing".
this was so comical as he repeated it around 5 times in 3 minutes!
!, now i can remember from the ministry school the term "repitition for emphasis" but this was getting soooo predictable.. my question is this a variation used by jw,s as an alternative to "the last days" term in which i used as a teenage jw ?
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Lindy
I would guess that "the scene of the world is changing" is the new catch phrase instituted shortly after 9/11. I had a sister come to my door using it then and said that the message right now was "one of comfort" which she repeated along with the "scene of the world changing." Because of 9/11, it makes people question and it give the JWs a new foot in the door. Can't say the "end is near" no more so they have to come up with something. I quess this is it! LOL
Lindy
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13
How important is it to love someone in your life?
by Mindchild inhow important is it to have someone special in your life?.
when i was a regular pioneer, i was constantly hearing that i should put off getting involved with any romantic relationships because i would want to spend all my time with my new love, and i would give up serving as a pioneer.. after i left the borgs cuckoos nest, i still had to put off getting romantically involved in long-term relationships because of wanting to be a full time college student.
later in life, i put off involvement again because of career options.
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Lindy
I have found that most people need others in their lives to some degree, but some don't need the one on one real close relationship. Depends on the individual and also depends on such factors as to how they were raised, whether other things in their lives are more important, and the time period in their lives. Things change and this needs might change too.
I guess you will know when it is the right time for this. You made choices to put this off. You make a choice to bring it forth to be a more important priority when you are ready to. You might be ready since you are now questioning it. Only you know. Trust yourself. You left the borg, so you know what is right for you.Lindy
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"Don't Touch Him With A Bargepole"
by Englishman inthere's been lots of talk here lately, about "fading away" from the jw faith so's not to be df'd and shunned, thereby keeping your family intact.. some people have mentioned that it is a good idea to, perhaps, move away from an area so that you can slip out of the jw belief system un-noticed.. i do recall however, from my days as a "servant", that it was normal practise for a po from the congregation of the departing one(s) to write a letter of introduction to the po of the receiving congregation, so that he could also advise the new congregation elders as to his opinion of the spiritual health of the new arrivals.. as a point of interest, when the brother who had been best man at my first marriage, who was also the ministry school servant, moved into southampton, the po told the new congregation elers not to trust their new arrival, "don't touch him with a bargepole" went the letter.
he, (the ms servant), was a touch miffed at this.. so, i was wondering, is it still normal for this sort of letter exchange to take place between the 2 congregations involved?.
also, if that is so, how can it be an easy option to swop congregations in order to fade away?
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Lindy
Well, if they know what congregation's territory you are escaping to, I mean moving to , they send your records there. That makes it the new congregation's responsibility to take care of you. I moved into a directly neighboring territory. I had a few sisters call form the new congregation, but not one single elder or servant visited me over the years, either forms the new or old congregation. I went to about 3 meetings and two Memorials at the new congregation. I had a couple sisters who where in the old congregation come over right after we moved in, but they just wanted to see the house. After that, they never bothered to come back. Now mind you, I was in that "old" congregation some 38 years. I grew up in it. But I think that they all were just glad to get rid of me. I raised to many questions and I wouldn't fall into place with "counseling" anymore. And evidently the new congregation couldn't care less. Loving huh? Looking for the "lost sheep"? Right!
I get calls from a sister who renews my subscriptions, and evidently she will be delivering them to me when the "new arrangement" kicks in for the hand delivered magazines, no longer coming in the mail, only going through the individual KH's now. (She stopped by the other day to tell me, but I already had read about it here a couple weeks previously.)
So other than that, no one cares. How sad. You give your life to them and it counts for nothing at all. Scriptural? Loving? Christ like? NOT! Their deep concern is what led me away even quicker.Lindy
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My Username says it all.......
by out4good3 ini only got into being a dub after marrying a woman who grew up in it but was never baptised.
her father was the typical overbearing elder, in it primarily for the prestige, but never practicing what he preached.
after a few years into the marraige she had what could best be described as a so called very emotional "spiritual awakening" in a meeting i accompanied her with to a couple of brothers.
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Lindy
Dear out4good,
About the college thing, it might work. If nothing else she will be educated and be able to get a better job that she might be happier with.
I am 53 years old and have faded out of the Organization like you and many others, mine was an imprisonment of some 40+ years. After much research on the net for the past several years I found out all the truths about the Truths. One thing I always wanted to do was to go to college. But in the late 60's that was completely taboo. So, like the good little JW, I dismissed it and waited for the end to come.And waited, and waited, and waited.
After fading away for several years I started to think again about college. Last January I started college. I learned much more than what the class offered. The way that college is taught now reinforces independent thinking and critical thinking. Some schools actually have classes called Critical Thinking. But the process is entwined into each class taught, to some degree. In English II and in speech classes it is part of the class structure. In Intro to Psych and in Intro to Sociology, I also learned to think more critically. Sociology actually goes into religion and how it affects society for a whole two weeks in the class I attended. What surprises waited for the students in that class. It is not only the JWs who need an awakening to how religion controls people’s lives. All religions control people’s lives to a degree and can cause great damage to the individuals involved. Some of the students in my class where very surprised to see how religion has affected the world.
But your wife will gain more than critical thinking. She will gain confidence in herself and her decisions and much more. I am a full-time student and I love going. It is hard at times, but so far I have pulled off an GPA of 3.860 and am again on the Dean's list this past semester. I would never have imagined something like this several years ago and still am in awe of myself. I am proud that I went back and did this, but not so much for myself, but so that I can set an example for my grown daughters and every other adult who might hesitate to go back to school at a latter date in life and every other JW out there who has left or is still in and has thought about college. It was one of the best decisions in my life.
So, personally, I think if you would encourage your wife to go back and at least try it, a lot of JWs do, so the stigma is not so bad now, it might help her eventually let go of the JW ignorance, and codependency to the Society that is encouraged by the Organization. If she is already decreasing her meeting attendance as you indicated, then she is already letting go, and she does have her own doubts. But she is more than likely feeling the guilt for doing so that is so carefully indoctrinated into each JW so that they won’t ever leave the WTBTS. My own brother, who has not stepped a foot into the KH in some 30 years, still carries a small amount of guilt around with him for leaving the Organization and still has a inner independence on praying to Jehovah, and wishing that he could go back sometimes. How sad that this happens.
I wish you well in your pursuit of getting your wife out from under the Organizations control. Once you think it is safe, and you might do this now for yourself, have her search the net and find the groups that help ones escape the Organization and present the truth about the "Truth" in complete detail. this site is grat, but there is so much more out there to discover.
This Organization leaves of historic trail of deceiving it's members and of changing new light that leaves most who leave astounded when they discover it. It also helps ones stay out when the guilt and indoctrination rears it's ugly head and lures them back at times. It was a great help to me because I was in some 40 years and when I thought of going back to the old "friends" and indoctrinated routine, I remembered each time what I learned, and it kept me from going back.
You don't say whether or not her family is still in and if they are strong, and if she has siblings and other relatives that are JWs. If so, the pull will be there to stay. I didn't have to fight that much because I left after my mom died and no one else was in but myself, except some in-laws and the so-called friends, whose friendships quickly faded as I did. But it was still hard for me just the same.
I wish you and your wife and children (My children escaped with me as I left, they had no desire to stay, they were smarter than me :) ) all the happinesses life has to offer. Remember, it takes a long time for some people to completely exit. Show her much love, patience and support, which I am sure you are already prepared to do.Best wishes,
As Always,
Lindy (Antique) -
57
Screen Name vs Character
by Amazing insince my character is part of the issues that have been addressed by several posters, i thought that i would clear this up:.
teejay said: conclusion: no more insulting than you when you mentioned that one has to wonder about someone who'd pick the screen name "amazing.".
i am not sure if teejay shares agreement with what he quoted, but for discussion sake, i will treat it as though he does.
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Lindy
RedhorseWoman,
Good comment, but I was thinking along the lines that he should have his "plumbing" flushed out and maybe redone with some modern piping. Seems he has a bit of antiquated stuff that is stuffed up with what goes through plumbing.Lindy
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has absolute power corrupted the elders?
by Jim Dee inthe elders in most congregations have absolute power, even worse they act without a check to make sure their judgments are correct.even in their worse moments they are "untouchable" in their right wing views.. does anyone have examples of elder abuse and misuse of absolute power.
bearing in mind that they have this power, not by holy spirit, raher by the congregation letting them have it.. has absolute power corrupted the elders?.
jim
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Lindy
Ozzie,
"Elders don't see themselves as sinners, and neither do most of the R&F I guess. How then can they ever demonstrate God's love and forgiveness."
How true this is when I look back. I never thought of this before, but it explains how "sinners" are treated when the "sin" is before all to see. Thanks for this comment. JWs don't see themselves as sinners do they? But then that is how they are taught to believe too, that they should be "perfect" in an imperfect world, and live as if they are already in the "new system." So when one sins in the congregation, it is looked upon as something much worse than it is.
I am so glad to be away from that type of thinking.Lindy
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has absolute power corrupted the elders?
by Jim Dee inthe elders in most congregations have absolute power, even worse they act without a check to make sure their judgments are correct.even in their worse moments they are "untouchable" in their right wing views.. does anyone have examples of elder abuse and misuse of absolute power.
bearing in mind that they have this power, not by holy spirit, raher by the congregation letting them have it.. has absolute power corrupted the elders?.
jim
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Lindy
The elders can only have absolute power over anyone only if that person lets them.
But, and here is the but, the society places the Elders so high up on pedestals that the average Joe in the congregation doesn't realize this. They are told not to make the load of the elders to heavy and of course they tell the elders they are "slaves" to the congregations members, but I haven't seen those words affect any elder who thought highly of themselves.
In reality the elders do have power, and many abuse it. But many do not and are good people at heart. But they don't over time stay elders because they can't take the hurt they see caused. Many exelders who post here have said this very thing. I have seen many, many elders over the years step down. Of course, they use good excuses, like family responsibilities, but the fact is, they can't take it anymore. Of course, that leaves the ones who abuse power to continue on and some get even worse in their abuse with no one to check them.
But the brainwashed flock continues to "wait on Jehovah" to make the needed corrections instead of making a big stink or doing anything about it. So the abuse over the flock continues. This is not unique to the WTBTS either. It happens everywhere, from big-time government down to the family. Where there is power there will be people trying to abuse it. So it goes to the person to be informed and in control of their own lives so that they are not abused. And as we all know, individuality and independent thinking are not things JWs do well. Catch-22.As Always,
Lindy (Antique)