thanks to all who have given me such support this past week, for your kind pms, and all your hints and tips for leaving..or slipping away.
hubby threw out all my wt and awake literature yesterday (going back to 1983, it was a lot!).
ive read so much, heared testamonials, done my research, taken on board your help and suggestions.
Good luck Paula, enjoy re-taking control :))
Stay frosty though, yours should be the voice of reason against the voices of indoctrination ;)
But remember that it's still your victory whether they leave after thirty seconds or after an hour's worth of argument.
tuesday night, i drove to a couple of older sister's homes, and dropped off their magazines, and kindom ministries.
thursday night, i went to the meeting and cleaned and locked up the building.
i also dropped someone off who earlier recieved a ride to the hall but their ride couldn't come back to take them home.
You can do one of two things - leave now, or leave later.
Leave now, and start the process of rebuilding your sanity/confidence/life/personality/opinions/social contacts. This process takes a long time, which is why it needs starting ASAP, but I guarantee you that within minutes of officially leaving you will begin to feel a hell of a lot better, in fact you will be pretty much euphoric.
Leave later, and nothing changes tomorrow. Same old shit, more and more stress, more time wasted, less time left for living, more members of the congregation encouraged by your very presence instead of being stopped in their tracks and made to ask themselves, "wow, I wonder why they left..."
Time is a finite resource - for pity's sakes, as someone who KNOWS all the reasons for leaving, stop wasting the precious remaining moments of your life being involved in any way with something so warped and destructive.
Just do it.
I really hope you make the right choice soon. Good luck.
tuesday night, i drove to a couple of older sister's homes, and dropped off their magazines, and kindom ministries.
thursday night, i went to the meeting and cleaned and locked up the building.
i also dropped someone off who earlier recieved a ride to the hall but their ride couldn't come back to take them home.
miseryloveselders - I'm sure people that have been around here for while know this, but can I ask why you are still attending meetings?
You seem to have accumulated more than enough reasons to stop altogether. Do you like pain or something? :D
i've just started reading "year of doom, 1975: the inside story of jehovah's witnesses" by english author j.c. stevenson.
it was published in 1967 as basically a memoir of his years in the dubs, including time as a pioneer, and an explanation of the methods used by them to make the organisation grow.. it's not the best "insider" book i've written, but there is a section i've uploaded below that makes some interesting points about the home bible study procedure and why it is so effective at turning interested people into baptism candidates.
reading through this, i see myself back in the mid-80s sitting there getting led, week by week, into the trap.. this section is from chapter 2, "the seed is watered" in which he explains the typical process following a few return visits.. .
Thanks for highlighting this, something so damning written by an ex-member 40 years ago is probably more powerful than any modern day testimony. Looking forward to reading it when I find the time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxxsderj5aw.
Energy drinks :)
This reminds me of an assembly rehearsal one time, where a brother did a demo on how he had to help his bible study on the matter of wind chimes. We surely felt protected and cared for, knowing that the Society were aware of the dangers posed by such garden ornamentation and were doing their best to keep us safe. It would probably be a DF offence to willfully and deliberately keep a wind chime despite warnings from the body of elders.
At least these guys could have a laugh about the past, probably quite healthy to do so. As long as it's not every Sunday at 10am.
hi, im paula from wales, uk.
ive been studying for 6 years with jws.
they came at a vulnerable time, my best friend died in a car accident when she was 6 monthes pregnant, i was drinking heavily, no work due to agoraphobia, meddling with the ouija board etc....i felt they helped me, cured me if you like.
Glad to hear you have had proper help, from your first post it sounded like you were struggling with lots of things. Sounds like the JWs are your main problem currently then! Best thing is to be completely firm with them and send them packing, imo. Otherwise they will carry on bugging you, we've all done it ourselves. It's your call, but it's better to be very clear with them. They are fair-weather friends at best anyway, I doubt any of them will have anything to do with you once you cease to show any interest in the meetings, as sad as that is. I'm sure you will be able to find better social circles to mix in who won't be judgemental or controlling.
And of course you can use the bible if you still want to, but you might want to try another translation to avoid the pro-witness feel of the New World Translation. And also just because you're allowed to use other bibles :)
hi, im paula from wales, uk.
ive been studying for 6 years with jws.
they came at a vulnerable time, my best friend died in a car accident when she was 6 monthes pregnant, i was drinking heavily, no work due to agoraphobia, meddling with the ouija board etc....i felt they helped me, cured me if you like.
Hi Paula, UK member here too, not too far away in the south west. Was a witness for many years but stopped associating about 3 years ago.
Sounds like there are two aspects to your story. Number one is that you have had a lot of trauma in your life, and you have needed and still need help to deal with that. Which led you to number two, studying with the JWs partly in order to get help with things.
You are absolutely right in your assessment of the Witnesses. The bottom line is that they want you attending regularly and progressing swiftly towards baptism, as once you are fully in they can then apply pressure on you properly. All the while you are just studying or an 'interested person' or a Memorial attender, you can just walk away and they don't have any hold on you. They want you to join fully, get their numbers up, be a 'success' story for their efforts in the ministry. And then the organisation can control you more effectively.
So it's a damn good job you didn't get baptised! You have avoided an awful lot more pain and heartache in the long run.
Firstly then, you need to seek PROFESSIONAL HELP with your problems in life. Elders and other JWs are NOT professionals, they do NOT know how to help people effectively in any way at all. All they know is what the Watchtower literature says, which is mainly nonsense or things copied from other sources. There are medical professionals who can help you with your panic attacks/agoraphobia, with your drinking problem if you still have one, and with any emotional trauma related to the loss of your mum or your friend. Go to your GP, explain everything, they will be very sympathetic and put you in touch with the right people who will help you properly. And there will be no hidden agenda from them.
Secondly you need to sever your contacts with the JWs, they will only try and discourage you from seeking medical help, and try to get you back in with them. Even now you are feeling anger towards them which is taking up your energy and occupying your mind. Your focus now needs to be on yourself and on your son. Get yourself emotionally well and happy again, and you will be making a better life for your little family. Then you can look forward and work out what to do in life. But you need to look at your problems and get help with them first.
And see if you can get in touch with any of your former friends, ones that you trust and could talk to. Explain to them what happened with the JWs and how they encouraged you to shun your friends at the time. The JWs get us thinking that everyone outside the congregation is dangerous, well you know that isn't true from the past, but it can still play on the mind. Make new friends, meet up with old ones, start building yourself a new life outside of the witnesses again. So many here have done it, and are happier than they ever were before :)
PS Years ago I used to conduct a Bible study with a young mother who suffered from panic attacks, yes I know I should have handed it over to a sister but studies were hard to come by in our territory! >.< This young lady suffered terribly as she tried to attend meetings and come on the ministry, I really tried to encourage her as much as possible, but it was awful for her, her palms would sweat profusely even on the way to the hall let alone sat inside, which made her embarrassed and so it got worse, until she couldn't cope and had to walk out, which was even more embarrassing, etc etc. I'm sure you know how it goes. She managed the ministry twice I think in total. In the end I think I stopped the study as it wasn't getting anywhere, and she really seemed to become a lot happier again, thank god for that in hindsight! So I know how hard that can be.
right now, i am hearing foals' "total life forever".
also been playing these albums a lot lately:.
groove armada's "black light".
22 Acacia Avenue - Iron Maiden
vow of obedience.
today i uploaded a document issued in year 2002 to members of the religious order of jehovahs witnesses.
this document highlights something new watchtower began requiring of members of this order.
It's so far removed from anything that a publicly accountable organisation would produce, it's ridiculous. But as leavingwt said, it's pretty much entirely designed to facilitate the tax breaks that members of a religious order qualify for. Nothing more, nothing less. They present it as if it's a part of their sacred worship - but it's all about the benjamins.
1. You will be poor like everyone else has been, is, and will be.
2. You will do whatever we tell you to do, whenever, and wherever.
3. You will let the people who have been here longer order you around and you will obey them to the letter.
4. You will spend every waking hour working your butt off here.
5. You will not get paid work anywhere else without our say so. Which means no.
6. You will give us all the money you receive from anywhere and anyone else, so that we don't get shafted by the government.
7. You will receive no acknowledgement of the years you waste here in any tangible form.
8. You will not complain about the pittance you receive nor at the lack of pension provision or medical plan.
9. You will abide by principles in the Bible, but you will follow the directions of the Governing Body.
10. You will not make a sound as we f*** you up the a**, kick you out the door, and slam it behind you. In fact you will thank us for it.
i'm curious about what made you realize that your ex-religion was not "true"?.
i've had discussions with many religious people, and they're always trying to protect their beliefs, rather than allowing anything i say challenge what they believe.
was there ever something someone said to you, or something you read that maybe made you doubt your beliefs for the first time, or had a similar effect?.
clarity - you are more than welcome to it, just writing down stuff as I think it, will no doubt get me in trouble one day :P Mr Falcon thanks for the convention style applause, I guess I should have some new book to hold up now...
chickpea - thank god there are some mothers like you who can see sense and don't just follow blindly out of fear. I wish my own mum had been like yourself, sadly she is stuck fast in it and nothing will get her to put her ex-JW children before her 'god'. She fears losing out on everything she has lived for for the last 50 years. So tragic.
Murray Smith - sounds like you had a damn hard road out of it. Glad you made it though.
loads of great experiences in this thread :) well, not great, mainly terrible, the great part is that everyone got out :P
