Me too Mr. Free! I was married 20 years to a devout JW wife we pioneered, I was elder, etc etc then after waking up she kicked me out we are divorcing (almost final!!) and she ratted me to elders along with a couple friends. So I decided to let my light shine and tell the elders everything I learned and put it online for all to see so they DFed me and I am proud of it.
It's hard at first, but you will be FINE in time. You will be better than fine actually. If you want to chat email me and we can set up something!
Eric aka RayPublisher
jwstruggle at gmail dot com