for those that dont know my story, basically i "woke up the ttatt" about a year ago, started fading, then went back, now fading again because i just cant stomach it anymore.
my husband is very supportive, although he's still "in" for now, and trying to be regular with meetings and witnessing, he can see my point of view now, and often notices things in the wt or other publications that are "off".
the fading thing is hard, sometimes i want to da, but because of the upheaval it would cause my family, im waiting a little while - i guess hoping that my husband will be on the same page at some point, so that we can support eachother.
Hi friend. I REALLY GET IT..
I've prayed the, "please send me a sign" prayer many times over the past three years of the fade. I think I'm a confirmed agnostic now, and most of the time that's ok. But I have days, incidentally like today, where I waver in my "certain about uncertainty" and start searching again for something to grasp.
Sky, it will get better. And on the tough days, we'll be here. :-)
first off, i owe this site a tremendous debt of gratitude.
i have been an inactive witness for 4 glorious years, and the spark that began my fade out of the organziation was this site and paul's jwfacts.com.
it opened my eyes to a whole new world of insight, and i discovered that there were so many people out there like me - still a "spiritual" individual, but completely disgusted with the jw organization.
Welcome! As a fellow long-time lurker, I share your gratitude for the community - it's a great place! Look forward to hearing more.
hi, i've been lurking here for several years and i finally registered.
first i would like to thank the hosts and members for all you do.. .
i'll just give a breif history, i'm a single male mid 40's living in the southeast us.
Hi HBH. Your handle is awesome. I had a friend who called them WADs (won't answer doors).
Welcome to "the real life".
several years ago the wts stopped announcing individuals who were df'd as, "so-and-so has been disfellowshipped" and instead began announcing, "so-and-so is no longer one of jehovah's witnesses".
this seems to be rather important to me.
undoubtedly this change was fueled by legal issues raised by someone who was df'd and impacted in some way perhaps financially.
I dislike that they've combined the statements. For those of us who want to make a point of leaving on our own terms and maybe make people think "why would they disassociate?" this creates a complication. JWs always assume the worst: two married JWs, no longer JWs? They probably engaged in swinging or they did the deed before they got hitched. Because no one would ever, ever just leave "their mother"(ship).
my parents always says that demons are everywhere!
it's getting quite annoying!
they claims demons are in smurfs?
TI - Yes. My bro and I have discussed the pros and cons of trying to conjure one up as we are struggling with general belief in God period right now and finding a demon would be pretty effective proof.
LOL, however my husband gave us the following (sobering) advice: "If you do conjure up a demon, well, then you've got a demon on your tail. How did that make your life better? And if you don't conjure up a demon, well, you haven't really answered anything - I mean, if I was a demon I wouldn't show up if you were trying to use me to prove that god exists - and you maybe just worsened your doubt further. Sounds like a lose-lose to me."
1. my husband's time is finite, it's wasted on spouses arguing over money, sex or family mattters with stupid home visits.. .
i hate people's constant open hand for money, it's the weak individuals asking others to pull their weight.
my family worked extra hours instead of begging the strong members for district assembly money, cat food for seven cats or tiny little rag-a-muffins weiner dogs.. .
' Mere oppression may make a wise one act crazy.' Ecclesiastes. 7:7
Some of AC's words have been very unkind. But I know how unkind my mother was at times because of the extreme, exhausting pressure of being "imprisioned" within the bOrg - she hated it and yet saw no way out. She did not cross some of these lines, and she was certainly less hateful, but she was in a very similar situation to the one AC mentioned. She was inclined to turn the violence in on herself rather than raging at others, but the violence was there all the same.
I withhold judgment.
A/C, welcome. If there's anything we can do to help, tell us. Vent, share your thoughts and frustrations - we will listen. But please remember that we are trying to be your friends and for that, a little respect to us "underlings", many who used to be "powerful" in the organization and chose to leave of our own volition, may be warranted.
Peace to you,
GSD
my wife and i were slowly leaving walmart's parking lot in el dorado (that's arkansas) last night and i did a double-take.
my wife said, "what are you doing"?
as i swung around to circle back to the row we had just left.
Cobalt! I Love it!! :-) "Best revenge is living well."
The sad thing is that JWs can spin it both ways.
When by former BFF unfriended me, she said, "Satan is making your life good so that you don't see that you're making a mistake until it's too late."
If my life was going badly, they would tell me, "It's just evidence of Jehovah removing his blessing."
thanks to this website and jwfacts, i have come to learn the "infamous" ttatt.. i've had soooo many emotions the last couple months.. (fyi: i've been baptized since '95 third gen jw, elder father and every other member of my family is a regular pioneer).
i was wondering, like dealing with greif : are there 5 stages for dealing with ttatt?.
Absolutely. I wasn't right for probably two years.
But there's a difference - once you get through the grieving process, it's not just acceptance. It's happiness and freedom.
I agree with everyone who is advising you to take it slow and easy. It worked with (part) of our family - love, love, love and logic, logic, logic. The harder we pushed, the harder they pushed away. The slower we took and the more we showed love sprinkled with facts and "thinking" questions, three years later some of them came around.
My father went ape every time we pushed him too hard. So we changed tactics - ask questions that are impossible to answer honestly as a JW ... and then back away, drop it altogether. They keep stewing on it later and you're not the bad guy (or gal ) for being pushy.
hey everyone!
i'm so happy that i finnally joined i just turned 17 and i have so many questions about the org.. i've been lurking around the site for months, and love reading experiences about bethel, and all the hypocricy that the wtbts spews out.. so i finally joined in and hope to make some great friends.. a little about me:.
im male, 17, and i am a born-in, so this is all i know... i was baptised at age 13 i beleive.... my gramma, and grampa and mom , and sisters and brothers, are all jw's.
Welcome!
"How are we the ONLY religion in the WORLD that has it right?"
This was my husband's first doubt. I remember being gullible and thinking, "Woooooooow I'm sooooo lucky." Right.
When I was 17, I had this incredible teacher - the first time I'd ever made friends with a "worldly" person. This teacher was so awesome, so spiritual and bright, I couldn't figure out how it was fair that God said that they woul die along with every other person not a witness.
Unfortunately it took me about 8 more years (several of them in college and even more of them pioneering) to see the light. But I'm 28 now and we're having the time of our lives now that we've left.
The thing that makes it a little different and more -truly- joyful for us than for others is that my whole family (parents / brother) left with me and my husband. Be careful - if you do it right, you might be able to win over your mom and then your happiness at being free will be doubled.
Take care!
GSD
