And the energy required to keep up the cognitive dissonance is astounding.
That's chaffing against the default (skepticism) . . . not pacifully investing in it. If that is the case you were a doubtful believer at best. I guess there are levels of belief. The default position doesn't need to be quantified . . . only occupied.
The effort required varies, but is accomplished with relative ease for the majority. Knowledge is usually tailored into the belief and simply modifies it . . . without seriously questioning the core belief. For others it can destroy it completely.
The discomfort and distress of non-belief may not always register at a cognitive level . . . but it is unnatural and seeks to correct. Most non-believers don't go past a 6 . . . leaving the opportunity for belief to return.
I want to believe . . . and it wouldn't take that much for me to do so . . . just enough to convince me. Whether that warrants ritualised worshipful subservience, regular supernatural communication etc . . . I seriously doubt it.