Posts by OneDayillBeFree

recently at my last meeting, an older brother "in good standing" got disfellowshipped.. sitting only two seats away from him, i saw as he burst into tears as lifelong friends and family began their shunning and immediate gossip in the form of whispers came up from above the brothers and sisters in the kingdom hall.

i felt like giving him a hug and telling him that it was going to be okay and that whatever the reason for his disfellowshipment was, it didnt matter and that god still loved him but before i could muscle up enough courage to do so, he stood up in tears and left.. i shed a few silent tears for him.

i didn't see anyone else do the same.. it was at that moment that i realized without a doubt that living this way is just not worth it at all.. so i've thought about it long and hard and now i just want to move far away and just start new again.

OneDayillBeFree

@Billy the Ex-Bethelite

That's great! I'm liking this moving away-not-too-far idea more and more. And I'm practically in the exact boat you were in as far as depression goes. PM sent!

19

Moving out, away and starting a new post JW life

by OneDayillBeFree in

recently at my last meeting, an older brother "in good standing" got disfellowshipped.. sitting only two seats away from him, i saw as he burst into tears as lifelong friends and family began their shunning and immediate gossip in the form of whispers came up from above the brothers and sisters in the kingdom hall.

i felt like giving him a hug and telling him that it was going to be okay and that whatever the reason for his disfellowshipment was, it didnt matter and that god still loved him but before i could muscle up enough courage to do so, he stood up in tears and left.. i shed a few silent tears for him.

i didn't see anyone else do the same.. it was at that moment that i realized without a doubt that living this way is just not worth it at all.. so i've thought about it long and hard and now i just want to move far away and just start new again.

OneDayillBeFree

@ Ruderedhead oh yes I've thought about this financially too but that's really good advice nonetheless. I have a vehicle of my own, and pay rent at home even though its my parents house. (Even though I'm aware it doesn't compare to living on your own). My job is largely computer based so I would still be able to work from home regardless of where I'd be, at least for a while.

Also I wouldn't see it as a decision purely based on emotion. It does play a part in it but I'm trying to see this in the most realistic way possible.

@ whathappened I see what you're saying and it makes sense. Moving a few hours away would not be so bad if I planned to continue to play this game of I still believe and I'm afraid of the organization kind of way. The thing is that I've grown tired of doing that. And I don't want to lie to friends or family anymore. There comes a point where enough is enough. But still moving relatively close could work as many brothers forget about others as soon as they move congregations that meet in the SAME hall. But part of me has always wanted to just move farther away. It is something that needs further consideration.

19

Moving out, away and starting a new post JW life

by OneDayillBeFree in

recently at my last meeting, an older brother "in good standing" got disfellowshipped.. sitting only two seats away from him, i saw as he burst into tears as lifelong friends and family began their shunning and immediate gossip in the form of whispers came up from above the brothers and sisters in the kingdom hall.

i felt like giving him a hug and telling him that it was going to be okay and that whatever the reason for his disfellowshipment was, it didnt matter and that god still loved him but before i could muscle up enough courage to do so, he stood up in tears and left.. i shed a few silent tears for him.

i didn't see anyone else do the same.. it was at that moment that i realized without a doubt that living this way is just not worth it at all.. so i've thought about it long and hard and now i just want to move far away and just start new again.

OneDayillBeFree

Recently at my last meeting, an older brother "in good standing" got disfellowshipped.

Sitting only two seats away from him, I saw as he burst into tears as lifelong friends and family began their shunning and immediate gossip in the form of whispers came up from above the brothers and sisters in the kingdom hall. I felt like giving him a hug and telling him that it was going to be okay and that whatever the reason for his disfellowshipment was, it didnt matter and that god still loved him but before I could muscle up enough courage to do so, he stood up in tears and left.

I shed a few silent tears for him. I didn't see anyone else do the same.

It was at that moment that I realized without a doubt that living this way is just not worth it at all.

So I've thought about it long and hard and now I just want to move far away and just start new again. I've realized that there are some, if not many downsides to this when it comes to keeping family ties but at this point it no longer matters. I've given way too much of my life to this organization for little or nothing in return. It's a sad reality but it was the one I was born into, not the one I chose.

Prior to making this decision I was getting ready to get my first apartment in a nearby area, not far from my congregation and family. But I simply can't stay here anymore.

I'd like to know of any experiences from those of you who left and did the same or from those whe left, either by choice or got kicked out from their parents home at an early age. I need all the advice I can get. Thanks!

OneDayillBeFree

24

Just can't miss a meeting, not even on a vacation

by Comatose in

jw
friends

we had out of state company come the past couple days.

we had a days notice they were coming.

they stayed 1.5 days and left today because they couldn't miss the wt back home.

OneDayillBeFree

Wow that's just retarded! I remember a CO once saying during his talk that we are Jehovah's Witnesses 24/7 and that even when on vacation we have to find the local kh so we don't miss a meeting!

Way to suck all the fun and point of going on a vacation!

24

Just can't miss a meeting, not even on a vacation

by Comatose in

jw
friends

we had out of state company come the past couple days.

we had a days notice they were coming.

they stayed 1.5 days and left today because they couldn't miss the wt back home.

OneDayillBeFree

Wow that's just retarded! I remember a CO once saying during his talk that we are Jehovah's Witnesses 24/7 and that even when on vacation we have to find the local kh so we don't miss a meeting!

Way to suck all the fun and point of going on a vacation!

2

I need a vacation...

by OneDayillBeFree in

the last time i took one was around 4 years ago!

and the thing is i could take a vacation whenever i'd like, except i have no one to go with and no actual place to go to.. it's depressing really.

the fact that i'm fully capable of going anywhere yet i can't because the only people i'd be "approved" of going with would be jw's.

OneDayillBeFree

Australia? New Zealand? Sounds good! And yup I am from the U.S of A! PM me if you're serious.

2

I need a vacation...

by OneDayillBeFree in

the last time i took one was around 4 years ago!

and the thing is i could take a vacation whenever i'd like, except i have no one to go with and no actual place to go to.. it's depressing really.

the fact that i'm fully capable of going anywhere yet i can't because the only people i'd be "approved" of going with would be jw's.

OneDayillBeFree

The last time I took one was around 4 years ago! And the thing is I could take a vacation whenever I'd like, except I have no one to go with and no actual place to go to.

It's depressing really. The fact that I'm fully capable of going anywhere yet I can't because the only people I'd be "approved" of going with would be JW's. & I don't mean approved by my parents, but the elders. I've had so much stress over these last couple of years with this fade that taking a vacation was put out of my mind. But then this week I realized something.

I don't give a crap what the elders think.

I'm finally at that point where I really wouldn't care if I or df'd or da'd anymore. I've stopped caring what my JW "friends" would say or what my parents would think.

It truly is a great feeling! It came to me this morning when I woke up at 6:30am to use the restroom and thought of the brothers going out to do early morning service. And I looked outside at the beautiful day and said, "what a lovely day it is to sleep in and not go out on service!"

So now, I'm going to take a vacation.

I just don't know where. But I'd like to go and make some friends since I sadly currently have none. And life goes by so fast that by the time you stop to think about it, you realize that it's gone and not coming back.

I'm thinking about maybe going to meet one or a few of you. And it really doesn't matter where on earth you are. I'll go. I have both the money and the time. I'm thinking about just moving to another place be it a different state of country. That would just help me get out of this JW hell I'm living in.

I could see some of you might not feel comfortable with this since I'm not a regular poster on here and but I can only assure you that I mean nothing wrong. I'm just tired of being here where I am now and I desperately need to "run away" sort to speak.

if any of you are interested or would like to meet me between June through August, just pm me for more info and details!

I hope you have a great day/night wherever you are!

OneDayillBeFree

1

As an awaken JW, what do you think this song is about?

by OneDayillBeFree in

throughout my awakening to ttatt, i've realized how much i seem to connect things like movies, art, and music to the organization.

and so, recently as i was coming home from work i heard this song on a college radio station where different kinds of music are played all day.. it's called ya hey.

i thought it was a really interesting name for a song but then upon hearing the lyrics noticed that there was more to it than just a nice catchy song.. here is the link to their official lyric video.

OneDayillBeFree

forgot to paste the last part of the song... here it is

[Chorus Annotate ]

[Middle 8]
Outside the tents, on the festival grounds
As the air began to cool, and the sun went down
My soul swooned, as I faintly heard the sound
Of you spinning "Israelites"
Into "19th Nervous Breakdown"

[Chorus]

[Refrain]
Through the fire and through the flames
You won't even say your name
Only "I am that I am"
But who could ever live that way?
(Ya Hey x2)
Ut Deo, Ya Hey
Ut Deo, Deo