Dear Forgetmenot. You either got it or you don't. Please hear me out. Both my children - a daughter aged 24 and son aged 22 are hopeless at flirting. My daughter sounds just like you and she wasn't raised in the Organsiation. Both my kids are good looking but just haven't got a clue about how to chum up to the opposite sex. Yet I was a flirt and still am - though I've remained faithful to one guy my entire life. I was 15 when I met my husband and he's an angel. He isn't a flirt but a fun loving, warm hearted guy. He knows I'm flirtatious, but sensible with it. Perhaps playful is a better word. I think the ability to flirt is either in your genes or it isn't. I get it from my Irish ancestery.
I really don't understand why my kids are so awkward around the opposite sex. My daughter blushes and is anxious about meeting guys. But like I say to her - just be yourself. If you are a nice person, with a good heart and kindly ways then nothing else is required. If possible do try to show a little bit of special interest in a guy if you like him. I know this because my son is too afraid to approach girls for fear of rejection. He needs encouragement. If you can try to see it from their point of view then you might not feel so uptight about it.
best wishes
Marilyn