Posts by OverlappingGeneralizations

34

New convention theme

by StarTrekAngel in

just wanted to post here real quick, as many have joked about it.

we had an announcement in our cong last week about the upcoming one day assembly.

the title of the assembly is "imitate jehovah".

New convention theme

by StarTrekAngel in

just wanted to post here real quick, as many have joked about it.

we had an announcement in our cong last week about the upcoming one day assembly.

the title of the assembly is "imitate jehovah".

Women speakers? Well, I don't want to spoil it for you, but ahh, what the heck. During the 1pm symposium, on the "Sisters" part, there is a demonstration where two sisters get in a bare-knuckle fist fight in the back seat of a cutaway honda civic right on stage. Afterward, there is a soliloquy of each sister reflecting on their behavior. One sister feels bad and wants to apologize. The other sister harbors resentment, and has homicidal thoughts. Just then, the lights in the stadium go dark, and the baptism pool is lit up by red flood lights, symbolizing the "lake of fire". Without warning Garit Losch runs out from back stage, grabs the resentful sister over his head and body-slams her into the symbolic lake of fire. Followed by the longest round of applause I had ever heard. It was so dark in there, I can't be sure, but I think I even saw Brother Losch doing a touchdown dance. You don't want to miss this program. The final talk is given by a Guy Pierce hologram! He asks Stephen Lett to touch the holes in his hands if he doesn't believe it's really him. Very uplifting.

18

"The governing body has asked me to..."

by OverlappingGeneralizations in

i have heard that phrase several times on the jw broadcast, uttered by gb members!

"the governing body has asked me to bring to your attention (whatever)".

aren't you the governing body?

OverlappingGeneralizations

I have heard that phrase several times on the JW Broadcast, uttered by GB members! "The governing body has asked me to bring to your attention (whatever)". Aren't YOU the governing body? What's up with the 3rd person jargon? Why not "as a member of the governing body, we thought we should bring this to your attention", or better yet "Jehovah thought we should bring this to your attention". No, be as disconnected as possible.

Anybody else notice that annoying phrase?

32

New Watchtower Corporation Formed !!!

by xjwsrock in

to all congregations in the united states branch territory .

re: jw congregation support .

dear brothers: .

OverlappingGeneralizations

It's probably so they can divert money into that corporation and keep it separate. That way, when they get sued, they can say "look, we don't have any money! Sure JW Congregation Support, Inc has money, but they are their own thing over there. You can't have their money".

13

Drama played at pioneer school

by StarTrekAngel in

i was having breakfast at home earlier this morning when my mil sat down at the table.

she started re hashing her previous day with us (wife and myself).

she was relating a story she got from another close relative who just finished the pioneer school.

OverlappingGeneralizations

A paragraph disappeared from my post above, so I'll repost:

"One brother played the role of an angel. He was standing guard at the entrance of paradise."

Wait, I thought the paradise was "global"! Now there's an "entrance"? So there must be a non-paradise area where the judging takes place. Oh, and I thought it was Jehovah judging from his book, not Angelic nightclub bouncers.

I know it was just metaphorical. But still. They just had to work in a "Saint Peter standing at the pearly gates" joke.

Plus, they left out that heartwarming bit where he is deemed unworthy, and tossed lovingly into the lake of fire.

13

Drama played at pioneer school

by StarTrekAngel in

i was having breakfast at home earlier this morning when my mil sat down at the table.

she started re hashing her previous day with us (wife and myself).

she was relating a story she got from another close relative who just finished the pioneer school.

OverlappingGeneralizations

"One brother played the role of an angel. He was standing guard at the entrance of paradise."

I know it was just metaphorical. But still. They just had to work in a "Saint Peter standing at the pearly gates" joke.

Plus, they left out that heartwarming bit where he is deemed unworthy, and tossed lovingly into the lake of fire.

13

Drama played at pioneer school

by StarTrekAngel in

i was having breakfast at home earlier this morning when my mil sat down at the table.

she started re hashing her previous day with us (wife and myself).

she was relating a story she got from another close relative who just finished the pioneer school.

OverlappingGeneralizations

I would hate to have somebody talk to the chair I sat in...

Angel- Lets us ask. Chair (as in chair from the KH), did he attend all meetings?

Chair- For what I can remember, he did. I felt a lack of respect for Jehovah's house as he unleashed a constant barrage of flatulation through the entire program. He was careful not to make noise, but I believe that only made the attacks more pungent.

34

New convention theme

by StarTrekAngel in

just wanted to post here real quick, as many have joked about it.

we had an announcement in our cong last week about the upcoming one day assembly.

the title of the assembly is "imitate jehovah".

OverlappingGeneralizations

I just got a hold of the program, if anybody is interested:

9:40 Music
9:50 Song 140 (you did bring a print-out didn't you?)
9:55 Symposium: Imitate the Great Teachers, The Governing Body!
Steven Lett: Appropriate Facial Gestures
Anthony Morris: Tactfulness is Key
Samuel Herd: Being a Token is Not So Bad
Garrit Losch: Enthusiasm for the Kingdom
Geoffery Jackson: Bear up under Persecution
Mark Sanderson: Resist Gluttony and Run The Race for Life
David Splaine: Fine-tune your God-Given Gaydar
11:40 Accounts Report (we now accept Paypal and Food Stamps)
11:59 Baptism
12:00 Noon Break (doors are locked, hope you packed a "light lunch")
12:40 Music
12:45 Song 141 (You practiced the new song as a family, didn't you? No? Pagan.)
12:50 Accounts Report
1:00 Symposium: "Worthless Slaves, Where Will You Be 9am Saturday Morning?"
-Quit Your Job To Better Serve Jah
-Wait- Can You still Donate?
-Well, Then, SIMPLIFY to better Serve Jah!
-Brothers- Jesus Drove A Honda Odyssey, So Should You
-Sisters, Can You Stop Fighting For Two Seconds?
-Children- Stop Asking Questions: Quick! Look! Kaleb and Sophia!
-Elderly- We Haven't Forgotten... To Ask You For More Money!
2:30 Accounts Report
2:35 Song 142 (Got that iPad out? New song downloaded? No? Pagan.)
2:40 Keynote Address:
-Avoid the Internet: Satan's RoadRage on The Information Highway
3:20 Public Address
-Avoid the Internet: Pornography Leads to Damaged Keyboards
4:00 Final Talk:
-Embrace the Internet: JW.org
4:30 Song 142 and Final Accounts Report

324

VA shooting suspect was raised a JW! He mentions it on his Twitter account

by WingCommander in

jw
friends

anyone in the usa following this morning's shooting "on-air" live tv will know what i'm talking about.

bryce williams (not real name, but on-air name) shot and killed 2 people on live television this morning in roanoke, va. he was wearing a go-pro camera, and uploaded his first-person video onto his social media accounts.

i've seen his twitter feed (before it was taken down), and not very far down he mentions being raised a jw.

OverlappingGeneralizations

Aaaaand he just died.

83

What woke you up?

by Israel Ricky Gonzales in

in march of 2014, i was a very active jw, a ministerial servant, gave a public talk, was an attendant for the memorial, and one of 4 cleaning captains for an international convention of 40,000+ attendees.

so what woke me up?

an innocent comment from a co-worker about the candice conti court case rang a bell that could not be unrung.

OverlappingGeneralizations

My awakening started at the first televised annual meeting. This was the first time I saw the governing body. I was expecting seriousness, even an air of strictness that would top the biggest ball-buster circuit overseer. But instead, I saw them goofing around, laughing, etc. While I was entertained, I lost a little respect for them. It just didn't seem very dignified for a group supposedly one notch below Jesus.

Then came the JW TV. Even more terrible representation by the GB. Will somebody give Morris a f'n haircut!? That poof on the back of his head drives me nuts! All the terrible teleprompter reading, forced gestures, etc. C'mon, If I was the school overseer, I would pull them aside and tell them they need "a little more preparation" LOL.

Then came the branch meeting. The famous tight-pants speech. And calling yoga pants "spanx" (which is something totally different!). I thought, wow, this is divinely inspired speech? Jehovah God himself wanted millions of witnesses to hear THIS? We worked so hard, bought so much equipment locally, the whole witness world is tied in to watch his hideous haircut tell us THIS?!?! Then he went on to bash young men who aren't appointed, vacations that aren't to bethel, etc. What a JOKE. There were sisters literally worried about the spanx they were wearing at that very meeting. I felt sorry for them. "No, no, I know that's what he SAID, but that's not what he MEANT". Sigh. Should I have to explain and correct God's spokesperson?

Oh man. I left that day like a six-year old having seen a headless Mickey Mouse on a smoke break.

I mean, some doctrinal things confused me all along, but I honestly threw that on God, and thought he would sort it out for me one day. But how can I trust the waters of truth when they come out of crusty old pipes like that?

I am still on the road to awakening, but I've seen behind the curtain from several angles. And I keep looking, hoping to see evidence that I'm wrong. But I think it's too late. My JW bubble has popped. When left to only my poor literacy skills, I thought I didn't understand things because I am kinda dumb. But now that I see God's supposed chosen ones on TV- I am pretty sure they are dumber than I am.