Posts by OverlappingGeneralizations

11

Jeneration Jokes

by prologos in

it is cruel to make fun of the pathetic attempts of br.

splane to come clean of the 1914 and generation predicament, but it is not only funny, for lives are seriously affected, but hey, having a humorous, irreverent outlook helps, so.

here are prologos', copy-righted contributions of.

OverlappingGeneralizations

What would a group of women call a group of ex-witness-men who just discovered oral sex?

The over-lapping generation!

Thank you, thank you, don't forget to tip your waitresses.

6

When is a commandment ever worded with "IF"?

by Israel Ricky Gonzales in

acts 15:28 for the holy spirit and we ourselves have favored adding no further burden to you except these necessary things: 29 to keep abstaining from things sacrificed to idols, from blood, from what is strangled, and from sexual immorality.

if you carefully keep yourselves from these things, you will prosper.

good health to you!.

OverlappingGeneralizations

I always thought "good health to you!" sounded an awful lot like a pagan toast... Was there a goblet raised in the air as this phrase was uttered? Inquiring minds want to know...

21

Guardian of Doctrine Admits 'Doesn't Really Matter If Jehovah is Accurate' say it how you want...

by LostGeneration in

tough to watch this whole video, the way he talks gets pretty annoying, especially after the rc hearings:.

http://tv.jw.org/#video/vodstudio/pub-jwban_201506_1_video.

go to around 8:20 where he gets into the pronunciation of jehovah.

OverlappingGeneralizations

I always wondered that too. When they admit that Yahweh is more correct, we should be Yahweh's Witnesses.

I know I get annoyed when I go to one of those trendy gift shops and see one of those mugs that has names on it and how they are pronounced in other countries. My name is Bill goddamnit, I don't care how you say it in Portugal or Afghanistan, you say "Bill" or you don't talk to me.

If Yahweh is correct, we better use it. I hate to hear god say goddamnit.

44

WE NEED MORE MONEY! (Letter sent to Mexico re: JW Broadcasting of May 2015).

by avaddohn94 in

i don't know if they're making similar arrangements in other parts of the world but below you will find the letter (and the translation attempt) they're sending to all the congregations in mexico and central america asking them to modify their september 21 and september 28 service meeting programs.. after watching jackson's gold apple watch and lett's pinky ring one can only assume they are a bunch of brazen, shameless and greedy bastards!.

the letter has already been uploaded at the spanish forum and you can find it if you click here or see the attached picture.. the translation "attempt" is as follows:.

august 1, 2015. to all congregations.

OverlappingGeneralizations

I am getting sick of the solicitation. When I first came in, they didn't ask for money (unless it was some local fund for a needed improvement on the building). That was one thing that attracted me originally was that they didn't pass the plate and beg for money (even though they used to make publishers beg for money at the doors, but that was before my time).

Anyway- I am sick of the begging. I get it, you need money. Shoulda' thought of that before you started your grandiose multi-continent project with empty pockets.

Hmm, doesn't it show a lack of faith to build something that takes years to build? Say 4 years? That's what you'd say if it was a college education anyway...

12

Was this crazy crap going on in your hall as well?

by Crazyguy in

so any way i wonder if this kinda of activity is the norm in halls?

my wife has my youngest boy calling an older couple in the hall grampa and grandma, my oldest daughter called another older brother grandpa, and the ms that is studying with my two oldest boys on the down low (like i don't know), he's calling g them his boys.

what the he'll?

OverlappingGeneralizations

"Daddy, how come Uncle Billy's service van doesn't have any windows?"

34

New convention theme

by StarTrekAngel in

just wanted to post here real quick, as many have joked about it.

we had an announcement in our cong last week about the upcoming one day assembly.

the title of the assembly is "imitate jehovah".

OverlappingGeneralizations

Glad I could brighten your day

34

New convention theme

by StarTrekAngel in

just wanted to post here real quick, as many have joked about it.

we had an announcement in our cong last week about the upcoming one day assembly.

the title of the assembly is "imitate jehovah".

OverlappingGeneralizations

Tiki-

Women speakers? Well, I don't want to spoil it for you, but ahh, what the heck. During the 1pm symposium, on the "Sisters" part, there is a demonstration where two sisters get in a bare-knuckle fist fight in the back seat of a cutaway honda civic right on stage. Afterward, there is a soliloquy of each sister reflecting on their behavior. One sister feels bad and wants to apologize. The other sister harbors resentment, and has homicidal thoughts. Just then, the lights in the stadium go dark, and the baptism pool is lit up by red flood lights, symbolizing the "lake of fire". Without warning Garit Losch runs out from back stage, grabs the resentful sister over his head and body-slams her into the symbolic lake of fire. Followed by the longest round of applause I had ever heard. It was so dark in there, I can't be sure, but I think I even saw Brother Losch doing a touchdown dance. You don't want to miss this program. The final talk is given by a Guy Pierce hologram! He asks Stephen Lett to touch the holes in his hands if he doesn't believe it's really him. Very uplifting.

18

"The governing body has asked me to..."

by OverlappingGeneralizations in

i have heard that phrase several times on the jw broadcast, uttered by gb members!

"the governing body has asked me to bring to your attention (whatever)".

aren't you the governing body?

OverlappingGeneralizations

I have heard that phrase several times on the JW Broadcast, uttered by GB members! "The governing body has asked me to bring to your attention (whatever)". Aren't YOU the governing body? What's up with the 3rd person jargon? Why not "as a member of the governing body, we thought we should bring this to your attention", or better yet "Jehovah thought we should bring this to your attention". No, be as disconnected as possible.

Anybody else notice that annoying phrase?

32

New Watchtower Corporation Formed !!!

by xjwsrock in

to all congregations in the united states branch territory .

re: jw congregation support .

dear brothers: .

OverlappingGeneralizations

It's probably so they can divert money into that corporation and keep it separate. That way, when they get sued, they can say "look, we don't have any money! Sure JW Congregation Support, Inc has money, but they are their own thing over there. You can't have their money".

13

Drama played at pioneer school

by StarTrekAngel in

i was having breakfast at home earlier this morning when my mil sat down at the table.

she started re hashing her previous day with us (wife and myself).

she was relating a story she got from another close relative who just finished the pioneer school.

OverlappingGeneralizations

A paragraph disappeared from my post above, so I'll repost:

"One brother played the role of an angel. He was standing guard at the entrance of paradise."

Wait, I thought the paradise was "global"! Now there's an "entrance"? So there must be a non-paradise area where the judging takes place. Oh, and I thought it was Jehovah judging from his book, not Angelic nightclub bouncers.

I know it was just metaphorical. But still. They just had to work in a "Saint Peter standing at the pearly gates" joke.

Plus, they left out that heartwarming bit where he is deemed unworthy, and tossed lovingly into the lake of fire.