Oh, those assembly badges, and worse, the posters they got you to put in your window! Don't get me started E'man.
Been there
's comment "I knew God hated me because I was ashamed of him" struck a chord because I don't think even the most staunch Witness hasn't buckled under occasionally. It's the "Fear of Man" thing, isn't it? The point is laboured heavily in the Watchtower and also at conventions particularly. We are expected to represent God at all times. Not mentioning that you are a witness all the time is tantamount to "Denying the Christ", and this pays a heavy penalty. The guilt you feel when you keep quiet about your faith is pretty unbearable - you are almost expecting to hear a cock crow!. The pressure to conform at school is particularly strong, and my heart breaks when I think of all the problems Witness kids have, and they are doing it all for nothing.
I was always known as a witness at school, and bullied badly as a result of it; I would have got on much better if I'd have kept quiet. I felt that if I denied God, God would deny me. This is so difficult for children, and you can see how concerned teachers can be about Witness kids. I suffered a lot at school, the problems I had made me a very frightened and sickly child. There's no denying that all Jehovah's Witness children are abused to a certain degree. No child should have this burden of responsibility put upon them. Childhood should be carefree, my childhood was stolen from me, and I can never get it back.
Was I ever proud to be a witness? In a way, yes, fulfilled is probably a better word. I felt that if I was a good witness I would have my reward one day, and so all the problems, the stress and the persecution I had was just Satan testing me, and if I past the tests, I would be worthy.