I personally find it to be opposite. It's hard to make friends and really easy to get rid of them. You just stop calling people and they don't call me. Friendship ended. Seems to be one of the tactics mentioned in the article. Although personally, I prefer the direct approach for friendships or any relationship. If you no longer want to hang out with someone, just go tell them face to face. Why play fading games? But I have accepted that the games are normal part of out culture.
maxwell
JoinedPosts by maxwell
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7
ARTICLE: Making friends isnt so hard-its getting rid of them that's tough
by SnakesInTheTower ini have been searching high and low in my office looking for this wall street article from 4.5 years ago (3/6/02).
i found the paper copy in a stack of stuff today as i was cleaning, then was able to keyword search to find the article online....its below..... i was wondering what you thought....especially as related to our collective jw past..... i'll chime in later after you with my thoughts.... snakesinthetower (of the "hope none of you will use this on me .
ps...the small box was not in the online version of the article but was in the print version:.
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Where were you when the planes hit?
by coolhandluke init f*cks me off that this happened only a few years ago but no one in my office has yet to even mention it.
it was such a pivotal event:.
i was driving from fontana to chino in california dressed in service clothes.
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maxwell
When the planes hit the towers in NY, I was probably blissfully getting ready for work after sleeping a little late. I hopped on my bicycle about 9:15 and rolled up to my office building about 9:45. The building where I worked at the time is probably less than a mile from the Pentagon. I got off my bicycle and started walking toward the door and I noticed a strange looking dark cloud coming from behind another building. I saw a few people standing outside looking in that direction also. I went up to my office and shortly got a call from my wife. She and some other witnesses had been in field service in a neighborhood within a mile or so of the Pentagon. Then I knew where the dark cloud was coming from. I looked out my window and saw that the cloud had gotten darker. I started trying to get onto some of the news sites, CNN or washingtonpost. We were dismissed from work within the hour and I went home and watched the news for the rest of the day.
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#1 Song on the Day your were Born
by JH inhttp://www.joshhosler.biz/numberoneinhistory/selectmonth.htm.
on the day i was born, this song was #1 .
"theme from 'a summer place'" by percy faith .
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maxwell
OntheWayOut, Thanks for the link. I actually recognize that song. Cool song to be #1 on my birthday.
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#1 Song on the Day your were Born
by JH inhttp://www.joshhosler.biz/numberoneinhistory/selectmonth.htm.
on the day i was born, this song was #1 .
"theme from 'a summer place'" by percy faith .
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maxwell
"Dancing Queen" ABBA.
I've heard of the band, but not sure if I've heard the song. I'll have see if I can find it online later.
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What were your childhood summers like as a JW?
by reneeisorym ini always had to pioneer and it sucked... in mississippi it was 100 degrees and very very humid.
it was like a greenhouse.
we would get all dressed up and just pour sweat.
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maxwell
I only pioneered a few summers during my teens after I was baptized. My summers were mostly actually fun. I remember the first summer after my family moved from Memphis to a rural area about an hour outside of Memphis. Some women from the congregation stopped by for a break from field service and remarked that I had a tan and I'm a black guy. I had been running around outside all day. I tend to prefer the urban area where I live now more, but I can't deny I had some fun summers out there in the boonies. Sometimes our parents gave us a lot of chores, but there was still time to play and run around my parents' few acres which seemed to be a lot of space to me at the time. One summer in my early teens, I spent a lot of time working on my saxophone hobby. Then the summer after my 11th grade year, I didn't pioneer but ended up attending two supposedly college-level classes as a part of a summer pre-engineering program. Yeah, I know, school in the summer, fun?? It was to me, because it was related to the my eventual major in college, and it wasn't field service.
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What Was Your Social Life Like As A Witness?
by minimus inmy (ex)wife and i asssociated with a few other couples and was considered "popular".
how was your social life?
did you have much of one?
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maxwell
My social life was so-so. I have always been naturally quiet. I think I am less shy than I used to be but still quiet. So that part of my personality stunted my social life. I got invited to a few things gatherings, to play basketball, etc. But only ever had a few strong friends in my teens. When I left at 25, there was no one I called my best friend and that probably made leaving easier for me. Sure I had a few superficial conversations with people at every meeting and got invited to places occasionally, but there wasn't anything pulling me very hard socially beyond my family. My social life was also very limited. Supposedly, you should only be social and make friends within the Jehovah's Witnesses. So with approximately 6 million witnesses (at the time) to 6 billion people, that slices the potential pool down to 1 out of 1000. That cuts out a lot of potential friends.
The comments about the social life being "conditional" resonate with me. I still don't have a super lot of friends. But I do have friends. And their friendship isn't contingent upon my beliefs about god. It is really nice to be able to talk to people and find people with common interests without having to worry about having certain beliefs. It is nice to relax, and be open about yourself (something I still work on) without worrying about how it looks through the Jehovah's Witness filter. I rarely think about that anymore when talking to people, whereas before it was always in the front of my mind with JW's and non-JW's. (Like am I being encouraging or spiritual enough or am I passing up an opportunity to witness). I'm sure there are some conditions to our friendship. For example, they probably wouldn't like it if I asked to use their cars to do drive by shootings. Fortunately, I have no interest in doing that. We have some common interests, and on the whole they accept me as I am and I do the same for them.
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Bicycling - A Dangerous Sport
by Lo-ru-hamah inso, on tuesday afternoon i am driving in downtown austin.
there was this car in front of me that must have been lost and was completely stopped.
i decided i did not want to keep waiting behind him.
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maxwell
Well I'll add my two cents.
I ride my bicycle often. I don't own a car though I rent occasionally. I don't consider my bicycle riding a sport. It's fun to ride, but I am no athlete and my bicycle is mostly a tool to get from point A to B.
I agree that bicyclists and car drivers should follow the laws and share the road, whether it is a two, four or six lane road. I don't agree that we need any extra laws on the books, beyond riding as far to th right as safely possible. The same laws covering all slow vehicles (tractors, etc.) should apply. Unfortunately, I have to admit that I often see fellow cyclists breaking the law, especially running red lights and stop signs. Car drivers routinely break other laws such as the speed limit, but that is usually of little consequence and most are predictable. I follow the law, but it seems that most cyclists don't. However, when a cyclists makes a mistake at the wrong time, they could pay for it immediately with their life. If a car driver makes a mistake with a cyclist, the car driver may not be harmed at all. The car driver is merely inconvenienced. I am more concerned about life than convenience. Bicycle riders have to take the physics of the situation into consideration and car drivers should too. At least car drivers are supposedly held to a higher standard before being given the privilege of driving machines which could easily be used to kill someone.
However, I have little sympathy for people who are irritated because they have to wait 4-5 seconds to get around a cyclist. I usually ride as far to the right side of the road as safely possible. But if its a two lane road and the right lane is too small for a car and me, I am not going to cower over to the side and encourage dangerous behavior (in other words, it wouldn't be safe; when I rider further out people are less likely to try to pass with unsafe margins). So far, no one totally incompetent or homocidal has come up behind me in that situation. There are always slower vehicles on the road, pedestrians in crosswalks and traffic. Given that small number of cyclists out there, very little of any delay is caused by cyclists. Try out the interstates in any city at rush hour. I guarantee you a bicycle/pedestrian-delay free ride for the time that you are on the interstate. Convenient motorized vehicle only driving. Nothing against the interstates. I use them when I occasionally rent a car, but not at rush hour if I can help it.
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What do you drive and why did you chose the vehicle you have?
by JH in.
i love japanese cars, easy on gas too, and that's why i drive a corolla.
also it has 4 doors
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maxwell
Specialized Sirrus
It is cheap to buy, maintain and operate.
It's fun to ride.
It's gives me some exercise.
It doesn't pollute so much.
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The DaVinci Code -- overreaction or a chance to rumble?
by cruzanheart inhere's an excerpt from a bbc.co.uk article i just read:.
"the holy koran recognises jesus as a prophet.
what the book says is an insult to both christians and muslims," maulana mansoor ali khan, general secretary of the all-india sunni jamiyat-ul-ulema, told the reuters news agency.
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maxwell
Definitely overreaction. I went to see the movie because I see all these Christian evangelist up in arms about the Davinci Code. Otherwise, it would hardly have registered on my radar and I probably would have waited till it came out on DVD or popped up on cable somewhere. I thought it was an ok movie, but I should have seen Poseiden. Kind of reminded me of Raiders of the Ark. I still don't see why Christian clergy people are so threatened by a movie or even the book. Maybe I'll read the book now.
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How many of the 50 states have you seen?
by AK - Jeff in.
have you got a favorite place in the states - a special part of them you would like to call home if you could?.
jeff
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maxwell
I've visited or drove for at least an hour through 21 states.I've spent less than an hour driving through 2 more states.
I've only been at the airport doing a connecting flight in 2 more states, so I didn't really see much of those two states, especially since both connections were at night.
And I've also lived in DC. Not technically a state, but still part of the country. :)
And my favorite place so far was NYC.