Posts by maxwell

26

How did you build a new life outside of the JWs?

by Sirona in

"if you leave jehovah's organisation, where will you go?".

no doubt many of us have been asked that question.

so where did you "go" when you left the jws?

maxwell

1. How did you build up a new social structure after leaving the JW religion?

Since leaving the JW, I've joined two cycling groups. One of those cycling groups was on meetup.com. I have joined a few other groups on meetup.com including a jazz music, classical music, nature/hiking group and of course the ex-jw meetup group. I also joined meetindc.org although I haven't gone to many events with that group. And I actually placed an ad on craigslist looking for friends, strictly platonic, seriously. I met one cool guy that way. We still hang out occasionally. It sounds as if my social life totally revolves around the Internet. Well I did join a community band also. Anyway, I think the basic principle is to figure out what your interests are and then find a group of people with the same interest. If it's church, go to church. If it is drinking in bars, then go to bars. Church and bars aren't my interest (though I may go to a bar occasionally with established friends/acquaintances) but some people like it.

2. Have you made fulfilling friendships and where did you find those friends?

I've made one good friend. I wouldn't call him my best friend or BFF. I have other friends and acquaintances that I know on varying levels. Presently I feel like I'm on the verge of making myself a little more open and getting to know some other friends better. I met some while cycling and some at meetups.

3. Do you have a spirituality now and if so, how do you compare it with the JW religion?

I think I lack any spirituality now. I'm fairly comfortable with that. Spirituality to me often seems to be some useless intangible thing. I think some tests have labeled me a humanist. But if I ever go somewhere for spirituality, I may be drawn to do some meditation at a Bhuddist temple. I do find value in meditation.

4. What is the best advice you can think of to give to someone who has recently left the JWs - in terms of how to rebuild their life?

I'll restate what I said above. I think the basic principle is to figure out what your interests are and then find a group of people with the same interest.

Also wanted to state, I've only been out for 6 years and I'm definitely still working at it as well, so I'll be reading the other responses to this thread with interest.

20

As a Witness Did you Feel "Coerced" to be "Used" for " Privileges" ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

being raised in a fairly prominent witness family was a challenge for me growing up .

my dad was city overseer for 30 years in the same city .

older brother in bethel for 8 years, has been an elder 35 years , an older sister who went to gilead school and regular pioneered for years .

maxwell

I'm not sure that I felt coerced. Maybe I did. I never imagined myself saying no if they asked to "use" me to perform some "privilege". Ironically, at one point, when they ceased to "use" me for microphone holding "privileges" because of low field service hours, I was asked to be "used" for the "privilege" of cutting the grass. I guess I was still good enough for that. I like a good little j-dub, said yes immediately not thinking anything, but my parents, who are still very strong JW, questioned the discrepancy and got that invitation to be "used" rescinded.

Also, in a somewhat unrelated comment, the word "privilege" also has special meaning to me because it is the word I missed in the school spelling bee one year when I was expecting to go at least to regionals. I wonder did my mind get distracted by JW-speak when I heard that word.

31

Check out this JW on this dating site

by What-A-Coincidence in

jw
friends

click to see his pictures.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member4736848.htm.

i live in the bloomfield hills area....i'm 21 and not a crazy drinker...i have 1-2 beers and i stop...don't need a dui.

maxwell

It's a funny profile, and I can kind of identify at the same time. When I was 21, I'd had only 1 girlfriend and I was living at home though I was finishing up college. But I was a full-fledged JW also and I never would have posted on a dating site then. I too wonder are the pickings so slim. Within JW, just as in most religions, the women outnumber the men.

Of course some JW (this guy isn't even officially a JW, I don't think) will break the "date only JW" rule. I've run across a few profiles on other dating sites of people identifying themselves as JW.

28

Have you been touched by CRIME?

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

i personlly have on a number of occasions: twice i've been mugged.

i've had my car stolen.

i've been sexually assaulted.

maxwell

Well I guess I have lived a very fortunate life considering some of the stuff I've read here. I've never been a victim of any violent crime personally, unless you count school boy fights. And I don't know that any of my immediate family has experienced it either. I have a cousin who was jumped for his shoes. My grandfather was mugged for his money as well. My cousin lived with his mother and my grandparents in a rough neighborhood. I grew up in a rural area.

My car did get broken into once in their neighborhood, and I lost a bookbag full of expensive school books and a nice calculator (I left too much temptation in plain sight for that neighborhood). But my car was also broken into once in the rural area where I grew up, and someone ripped out the radio. Both times they were "nice" enough to just smash the rear side quarter window. I've had shoes stolen from a room I thought was locked when I was in school. My parents tell me a burglar broke into the house and took a music player I liked when I was 2 or 3. My dad had a battery stolen from his truck. My ex-wife had her car stolen three times (probably by joy-riding teenagers) here in DC, but it was an easy target as she never did get a club or anything to make it harder for them.

I've always told myself that it's just a matter of time before I get mugged at some point living in a city and walking the streets. But it hasn't happened yet. No one has ever tried to take anything off my person. Maybe it is an advantage of being an average-to-large size black guy. But then if the thug has a gun, that doesn't matter. Or maybe I don't appear to have anything, which is partially true. I never carry much cash, and if my wallet was taken, it would mostly be just a big inconvenience because the cards would be deactivated ASAP and I'd be on the lookout for identity theft. The one thing that would worry me is the cell phone with all the contacts and pictures. Maybe I need to go delete some of those pictures now and make sure to backup my contacts.

9

any one ever get busted for going to a strip club?

by ?me? in

jw
friends

elders , have you ever had to "readjust" any brother, (or his wife) for going to a strip club?

what were the results?

didn't jehovah create us without any clothes, so i would assume it is ok to see naked people?

maxwell

I don't know of anyone ever getting busted for going to a strip club, but on a related note, I wonder has anyone ever tried to witness to people living in nudist/naturalist communities. Could you imagine a Kingdom Hall congregation in such a community?

46

Not interested in marriage/romance?

by LtCmd.Lore in

jw
friends

okay, so the site is full of people talking about their husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, ex-wives, ex-husbands, ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends, childhood crushes, current crushes, future crushes, favorite positions, etc.. .

by the very nature of rejecting marriage, there's very rarely an occasion to voice our disinterest in romance.

we just kind of sit their silently while everyone else talks about their sexual and romantic preferences.. i'm sure i'm not the only one here, so how about it?

maxwell

I have no interest in marriage. I got unmarried just a few months ago. Like many others in this thread, I like living alone and the tax and other government benefits given by the marriage certificate simply aren't worth the risk. No need for government blessing of my relationships.

I am not sure about romance. I wouldn't call myself a romantic guy. But I might be motivated to do some romantic gestures at times. I would not mind having a life long relationship with a woman who feels similar to me about having your own place, marriage, children, monogamy, etc.

The sex drive still runs strong. I love it.

23

Holy crap, I'm 30!

by Nosferatu in

jw
friends

wow, i feel way more crusty than i did yesterday.

the other day, i was thinking about the last 10 years of my life.

bought a house, engaged twice, married once, and spawned once.

maxwell

Happy birthday!

I hit 30 several months ago. Like you and others my 20's were a transition time. I just hope I'm not to stiff to make further changes. In less than 2 mos., I'll be a true 30-something.

19

Did anyone experienced racism in their old congo?

by confusa in

jw
friends

i went to a spanish congregation and there were different hispanic nationalities and one in particular used to snub, criticize and make fun of the other one.

very unchristian and so the opposite of what they preached.

maxwell

I don't remember any blatant racism.

The earliest congregation I can remember was pretty much a mixed black and white congregation in Memphis, although it is probably more black now given the way the neighborhood has changed.

But when I was 9, the family moved out of Memphis to a rural town, with only one congregation in the whole county. There were two white families in the congregation when we came there and one family included the lone white elder. Everyone else was black. The two white families eventually moved away and I can only guess whether there was some racism from either side in the congregation. On the other hand, the county was majority white (although you wouldn't know it if you went to the single public high school which was 80% black; there are two high school level private schools in the county and many white students probably hopped to other jurisdictions at high school), and I heard they may have received some heat from people outside the congregation about attending a majority black church (the Kingdom Hall), so I don't think it could be blamed entirely on internal conflict.

66

~Beloved landmarks from your hometown~

by FlyingHighNow in

jw
friends

when i was almost seven, we moved from the gulf coast town of mobile, alabama to morgan city, louisiana.

on brashear avenue, which was also highway 90, the gulf coast hwy, going towards the now old atchafalaya bridge, there was a shrimp boat in the middle of the road called the spirit of morgan city.

at christmas time they decorated it with a santa on the front and his reindeer out front, as if it were santa's mode of transportation through cajun country, rather than his regular sleigh.

maxwell

FHN, yes, the Mississippi River, largest river in the US, but you probably know that being in Louisiana.

66

~Beloved landmarks from your hometown~

by FlyingHighNow in

jw
friends

when i was almost seven, we moved from the gulf coast town of mobile, alabama to morgan city, louisiana.

on brashear avenue, which was also highway 90, the gulf coast hwy, going towards the now old atchafalaya bridge, there was a shrimp boat in the middle of the road called the spirit of morgan city.

at christmas time they decorated it with a santa on the front and his reindeer out front, as if it were santa's mode of transportation through cajun country, rather than his regular sleigh.

maxwell

I grew up in a little town about an hour east of Memphis, but there's nothing interesting, so I'll try to show you stuff from Memphis.

The Hernando de Soto Bridge over the Mississippi.

The National Civil Rights Museum, at the Lorraine Motel where Dr. Martin Luther King was shot.

The Pyramid Arena, though apparently not used by any major sports organization now, so not sure how long it will stay an Arena. Edited to add: This is also the place where I graduated from the U of Memphis (currently ranked no. 1 in the AP Division-1 NCAA basketball, Go Tigers!). This is also where the Tigers used to play. The Memphis Grizzlies also played there a few years, but neither team play there now. Everyone's at the Fedex Forum now, and I don't think this building gets used much anymore. I thought it was a nice addition to the Memphis Skyline when it came and I wondered would we ever have District Convention's there instead of at the Mid-South Coliseum. As it stands now, both the MidSouth Coliseum and the Pyramid are rarely used.