Lisa, I'm not in full agreement with what some of the others have said. I just got snapped at for talking to my 24 yo daughter while she was watching Harry Potter on DVD, which she has seen before.
I left the troof 22 yrs ago and I think my husband and I are very with-it parents. We are financially generous and emotionally supportive. We say fuck sometimes and we don't judge girls for getting pregnant. We judge people for being assholes - a much more devistating moral condition!
What I'm trying to say is that even with a level playing field, families fail to get along harmoneously. I came to the computer to escape being around my daughter. Clearly I irritate the shit out of her. I don't know why. Maybe some people's chemistries don't match. The comment about the swimsuit? I took that another way, but you chose to be annoyed about it. I thought your mother was trying not to say anything about it being a birthday present, so she said the next thing that came into her WT filled head. I know it's sad that your mom's head is so full of garbage - but maybe it's possible she really doesn't want this endless unpleasantness with you.
I've got a feeling that your parents are feeling just as sick about the time spent with you as you are. I know the whore comment was tuff - it's just so sad that your mom hasn't worked it out that there are much worse things in life than sex out of wedlock.
Look, I've put up with 20+ years of shunning from my family - which means I've been subjected to irrational behavior for 20+ years. I still feel that YOU need to find peace with your parents. YOU are not a slave to mind control and a bunch of lies and manipulations. YOU are better than them and you should try to swallow your pride and try to employ the fruitages of the spirit (hey I'm an athiest - but I really love that scripture). That is how I've handled my JW parents and actually I've pretty much won them over now. Not that we didn't have some ruff patches. And my folks were probably not quite as deeply hypnotised as yours are. But I have showed more patience to my parents than I have ever showed any project in my entire life - and it's paid off.
Only you can decide whether the effort involved is worth it. Certainly no-one would blame you for giving up - but I wanted you to hear my story.
warm thoughts
Marilyn