I just posted this on Teejay's thread, but in case some didn't read that thread I will repost it here, the enhanced version, because I believe it deserves its own thread.
Recently, my parents visited with me. (THE GREAT APOSTATE, can you believe it?)
Technically, they were here to visit my kids and husband, as I am df'd [8>]. I had emotionally prepared myself not to lose my temper (especially with my mother; who for some reason needs to bait me with sarcastic remarks.)
I did rather well, including several occasions when it was clear we were diametrically opposed. Once, my daughter told her that I bought her two new swimsuits for her birthday. My mom's response? "As long as they're one-piece!" (Mental manipulation at its finest)
I immediately advised her, that NO, I had purchased a very modest two piece for her, and that since I was the parent here, that's all there was to it.
And, she volunteered to buy my daughter a flute "if she would take it up." Well, my daughter has played the trumpet for 5 years, and now plays drums, recently tried out for and was accepted in Symphonic band, Marching Band, and Jazz Band. All this with no mention on her part of wanting to play the flute. So, I advised my mother that SHE should take up flute lessons since she loves it so much....we DO NOT try to manipulate children into playing an instrument to make US happy. [8>] Get the idea?
They held their ground and I held mine, friendly. Things were fine until the last day of their visit. Dad tried to get me to agree to "at least bring the kids to the Hall" and my response was "HELL NO WE WON'T GO." I also advised him that their friends in Walkill and Bethel are NOT welcome to write my daughter "spiritually encouraging" letters, that I tear them up before she is allowed to see or read them. I called the one sister a "HO"--because her letter basically tried to remove my headship and encouraged my daughter to subvert my authority and get baptised.
My mother's response was to call me a "WHORE." [8>] This because I was df'd at 19 for being pregnant. I laughed and said, "Well I see you've been covering up your real feelings about me the whole time you've been here, because I just had to scratch the surface and it all comes pouring out. Some religion you have, which makes people relive their mistakes for the rest of their lives."
The descent began. Communication immediately turned foul and black.
That night, DATELINE aired.
In no way was I intending to pressure them to watch the episode. I did mention it earlier in the week and they said they had some friends at Bethel who said "It will probably never air, it was supposed to have aired six months ago etc " I reminded her that 9-11 pre-empted ALL episodes that weren't of an immediate nature.
Well here on the West coast, it came on immediately after the NBA game, which my husband was glued to. I was not watching the game but heard the Dateline music, and went to tape the episode in our bedroom to watch later.
My parents elected to watch it with my husband, and what proceeded to happen (if it had been caught on tape) would have made for required viewing in Cults 101.
Total and complete denial, especially on my mother's part. Yelling and screaming (because my husband hates all religion, anyway), with the report being called "boldface lies" etc. My husband *totally* doesn't get it, why they defended the WT like they did. His position was, that didn't make them bad people, they just needed to be held responsible just like the Catholic church. The Erica thing, where NO ONE went to support her, blew him away. He kept yelling at my mom asking her WHY wouldn't anyone go? WHY NOT? Finally, she was reduced to, "Because they didn't have to. It's a free country."
This went on for an hour or so, OUTRAGEOUS.
The situation immediately went into a tailspin, and the rest of their visit (that evening and the next morning) is frankly, too painful to recount here.
After they left, I called my sister, and proceeded to recount the story to her at her business (she owns a restaurant). She was, like me, fairly level-headed. She told me things like, "It's their choice to be JW, etc etc." I agreed with her, but out of nowhere I added the statement, "They are getting older! Those Sons of Bitches at the Watchtower promised me my Mother and Father would never get old and die!"
At which point, she was immediately reduced to tears, to the point where she said she needed to go, because she was crying in front of her employees.
I had a phone conversation with Hillary_Step last night, and told him of some very recent agonizing conversations with my parents.....who have re-opened wounds that I was hoping were fully healed. After the conversations were all over, I was left feeling that I would never talk to them or see them again. It was so depressing and vexing to me I ended up in bed (literally) for two days with a migraine....which I haven't had in YEARS!!!!
Time keeps moving on... I'm watching the people who raised me grow old. The WBTS promised me they would never grow old. This is what I believed with all my heart until a few years ago. I had never prepared myself emotionally to watch my parents grow old, and get the aches and pains, and have limitations. In my mind they are still in their 40s, like I remember them best.
It is obvious my parents choose their religion over their children. DEATH to the men who have convinced them this is the way God would have it.I wish I knew a publicly traded company that manufactured millstones, I swear I'd invest every penny in their stocks because the time is coming when there is an accounting to be made.
Hillary reminded me, my only real option is to offer them unconditional love, although they don't have it for me or my siblings. So I will continue to love them, despite their pure rejection of me (based only on the fact that I disrespect their religious beliefs...) SIGH......
Time keeps moving on, I don't know if I have enought time to rescue them before they hit the point of no return. Which I see coming up faster than I care to admit.
I wish you all the best in continuing to deal with your families, this crazy religion, and interpersonal relationships.
Love,
Lisa