i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.
if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?
would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?
Thanks guys, you make good points. PSacramento, you're right, no one should be OK with the person being loving with anyone else.
sizemik: "Either it gets repaired or you move on". That is where the fear is, what will happen when it is confronted. There are 26 years invested in the relationship.
i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.
if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?
would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?
I'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time. If you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew? Would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person? Speaking of affairs, if it is an " intense emotional" affair, not yet physical, what is the liklyhood it would go no further and run it's course, or would telling him push it to the physical level? Thanks for the input.
i don't know if this strange phenomenon is unique to my family but it seems that those who have left the truth have little to no interest in reaching out to those family members who have also left the religion.. it seems topsy turvy to me.
surely, there would be common ground and mutual support for those leaving/have left but this does not seem to be the case.. does anyone else have this problem?.
You might put it down to the mindset we had while we were in, that is, always feeling you had to "rat" someone out who you suspected of anything. Maybe those who have left are leery that if they say or do too much, even within the family, it may come back to bite them later. It would also depend on how close the family was previously. My family, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, were all very close. We are separated now by miles as well as differences of opinions. I have always been close with my sister who was the 1st to leave, long ago, and have recently become extremely close to a younger cousin who is no longer in. We email almost everyday and get together occasionally. He recently said how fantastic it was that we have gotten close because it is nice to have someone to talk to about all the crap that no one else (unless they were former JWs) would understand. He knows his brother and SIL recently had issues with the Witnesses, but is not sure of their status. I don't know why he is reluctant to come out and ask him, although his brother is the type to tell things like it is. He was never a strict Witness anyway, so I don't think asking would hurt, but I don't know, I really think it is the mindset that was "inculcated" (I hate that word) into us. It really should be something to bring us together, this feeling of freedom and escape, and as you say, common ground.
hi guys,.
just wandering if anybody here is or was from romania?.
skip.
I am 50% Romanian. My grandfather came to America in February 1912, he was from the Arad area of Romania. Not sure where my grandmother was from in Romania. My dad was 1st generation American. I grew up hearing the native tongue spoken among my grandfather, my dad and his 3 siblings. Back then, Akron Ohio had quite a few Romanians, they mostly belonged to the Baptist church. Some of them became involved with the Witnesses (may have been called Bible Students then) and got my grandpa involved. That was the beginning of it all for my family. There were a few older Romanians in our Kingdom Hall as I was growing up. We were of the peasant class (ha, ha). Did your family ever make freesa cleesa? I have no idea how to spell it, I am sounding it out. You sit over a campfire with a chunk of bacon and let the fat melt onto a big slice of thick, crusty bread. Some put chopped green onions on it, but as a child I liked it without. That's some good Romanian peasant food! Too bad, none of us kids grew up learning the language.
well, i would be... if i were still going to meetings.
i live in pittsburgh, pa. for as long as i can remember we've always had our conventions in cleveland.
i think the year i was born was when we started going there.
Hey, Went to the Indians game last night (was a rain out after sitting there for 2 hours) and again saw Witnesses walking down the street. It was funny, some guys selling tickets on the street offered them tickets. They just shook their head and said they weren't going to the game. My daughter thought that was hilarious! With so many events up there all the parking was $20, instead of the usual $10. We usually park at a Catholic Church (ST Marons) but I KNOW the JWs wouldn't park there! Don't know why they would park so far away from Wolstein and walk so far in this heat. I never was at Wolstein, do they not have enough parking there for the events? Mr Freeze, like your new avatar. The Pirates are kicking some serious butt this year. Too bad the Indians are starting the slide to the basement.
for me i know it was because i was a reader.. i began reading books at the age of 13, this was in the 1950's.
because there were some serious family problems i had two escapes i could count on reading and associating with my friends at the kingdom hall.. as i devoured steinbeck, hemingway, wolf etc.
my world view expanded....it had to.
That is such a thought provoking question. Growing up in a JW family, and extended family, I often wondered what is was about my family that was so special that we were so blessed by Jehovah to be one of the few on the narrow path. Now, after having been out for 25 years, I often wonder what it is about me (and my sister, as well as a few cousins) that I am so LUCKY to have seen the light and walked away from this controlling religion. Maybe that is it, it is so controlling and I have deep resentment that I missed out on so much , mainly a college education. I was in high school in the 60's and it was repeatedly pounded into us that 1975 was just around the corner and a college education would be a waste. I was an honor student, taking all college prep courses (why, I don't know) and my teachers were baffled that I was not applying for scholorships that I would surely have qualified for. When I got married for the 1st time in 1972, my mindset was , "Well, at least I will have 3 years to know what it is like to be married and have my own home".
I always questioned so many things, mainly the unfulfilled prophecies that lead to wasted lives. When we first became witnesses, even though I was only 10, I thought it odd that there were so many older couples in the KH who had no children and so many older, single men. It was later I learned how in their youth they were discouraged from marrying or having children, just as my generation was from higher education. And, I never really felt a close connection, deep down. I was always embarrassed in high school when I couldn't stand for the pledge or alma mater or anthem. I didn't wear it as a badge of honor of my faith, but rather an embarrassment I didn't understand. Later, as a woman, I ALWAYS resented the diminishment of women and their intelligence and their abilities. I saw so many strong, resourceful women subject themselves to real a**holes with inferior intelligence. I personally knew of a few who even wrote their husbands parts on the service meeting because the men were not capable of doing it themselves.
When it came time for me to walk away, I did so without a look back of regret. There was just so much about the authoritative nature of this religion that made me bristle and made me feel empty. The feeling of freedom, even after 25 years, is something I am thankful for everyday. The internet and sites like this only strengthen my resolve that I am indeed one of the fortunate to have left.
well, i would be... if i were still going to meetings.
i live in pittsburgh, pa. for as long as i can remember we've always had our conventions in cleveland.
i think the year i was born was when we started going there.
I wouldn't mind meeting some of you, if it was close to me in Akron. That is, if you let "newbies" into your group. And, an old newbie at that. You guys all sound young enough to be my children! I'll just say, I was 10 when my parents joined the JWs, I was in for 25 years and have been out for 25 years (although family still in). Do the math, I am really old.
well, i would be... if i were still going to meetings.
i live in pittsburgh, pa. for as long as i can remember we've always had our conventions in cleveland.
i think the year i was born was when we started going there.
NewChapter, Boloney in, boloney out. HA! My last memory of that assembly is eating lunch in the parking lot in a hot car with my cousin and his wife. I was going thru a divorce, thought my life was over , but actually, was just the beginning because it was the start of my journey out of "the Truth". Now my favorite place just down from there is the Country Maid Ice Cream place, we stop there every fall after one of our hikes during the fall hiking spree.
well, i would be... if i were still going to meetings.
i live in pittsburgh, pa. for as long as i can remember we've always had our conventions in cleveland.
i think the year i was born was when we started going there.
It's nice to attend events, like baseball games, that stadiums are intended for. My only trip to NYC was in the early 60's for one of those 5 day conventions at Yankee Stadium. What an ordeal. That was our family "vacation" for that year, but there was not much time for sightseeing. I think we went to the top of the Empire State Building, but that was it. Another time we went to Detroit, another to Buffalo, which we actually did get to go over to Niagara Falls after that one. Woo-hoo! Man, I hated those conventions.
well, i would be... if i were still going to meetings.
i live in pittsburgh, pa. for as long as i can remember we've always had our conventions in cleveland.
i think the year i was born was when we started going there.
Hey, I'm from the Akron area and the last big convention I attended was at the old Cleveland Coliseum (a misnomer, since it was in Richfield , about 30 minutes south of Cleveland) in 1984. Man, that place was the pits, or as you said, maybe it was because of the circumstances I had to be there. It was the home of the Cleveland Cavaliers. It was torn down in 1999 and is now an overgrown field. The conventions are now held at the Wolstein Center on CSU campus, I think. It is not far from Progressive Field. We were up there for an Indians game one time, the same weekend a convention was going on and we saw a few JWs crossing the street. It was a hot, summer day, and there were these guys in suits and women in their "southern church lady" dresses with their badges on. Kind of hard to not recognize who they were. I was more appropriately dressed in my Tribe gear!
