Posts by MegaDude

200

How Many States / Countrys Are Represented Here?

by Big Jim in

jw
friends

i am from houston texas myself.

MegaDude

Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas

A hotbed of apostacy apparently.

26

I need help! I'm losing my wife!

by indireneed in

jw
friends

my wife is becoming a witness and i've found very little that i can do to stop her!

i've tried to show her that the wt does not quote correctly, i've talked to her about past beliefs and i've tried to reason with her about the bible.

but she won't listen!.

My post may have been misunderstood on the subject of making an ultimatum. I believe this should be done in all sincerity and love.
But then again, it depends on what you're willing to live with.
Of course, many factors are involved, the relationship, are there children, et cetera. First, are you willing to live with your wife who is a JW when you are not? I don't know a single happy marriage where one mate is a JW and the other is not. That's not to say it couldn't work or that that situation doesn't exist. The question is, do you want to be married to someone in a cult like that. If the answer is no, then you would be doing your wife and yourself a favor by telling her you will be getting divorced if she becomes a JW.

But the TIMING is important. When I said make sure your wife understands how you feel about her, I meant do that first. Over the course of time (days, weeks, etc) share with her how you feel about her, the information about the real truth of the Watchtower. I did not mean that you should rush out and give her an ultimatum that you'll divorce her right this minute unless she ceases her JW involvement. You'll know when to do it.

If you have made the decision you will not stay in a marriage where your wife is a JW, you should tell her. Someone I know did this, but let me add that their relationship was close and strong. If your relationship is strained or has been troubled, it may be just another symptom of a marriage that is in trouble. If you are unsure about how you would feel being married to a JW, then by all means don't give your wife an ultimatum. The real question is, how well do you know yourself.

In my own situation, I hung in there in my marriage for years. I left the JWs and my wife stayed in. We moved away to another city.
I quietly began attending another church after not attending a kingdom hall for two years. She reported me to the elders of her congregation and, for the sake of the marriage and to be above board, I told them everything I was doing (attending church, reading anti-Watchtower literature, talking with Ray Franz)
The elders decided to leave me alone since I wasn't attending meetings. We did the marriage counseling thing with a Witness-friendly therapist. However, my wife switched congregations and felt compelled to report me again. This resulted in a disassociate or we'll disfellowship you offer. I decided to burn all my Watchtower bridges and I disassociated. Then I asked my wife to leave. We divorced later. As difficult as that decision was, it was the best one. I loved my wife dearly. I did not want to divorce. I wanted to save the marriage. But it is impossible to have a happy marriage, an intimate and close relationship with a person who views you as an apostate, whose family you can never speak to because they shun you, and not being able to have shared friends. Still, I know others that have hung in there, but they are miserable.

Take all the advice here with a grain of salt. I wish you the best of luck in saving your wife from the clutches of the Watchtower.

sign me...

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

26

I need help! I'm losing my wife!

by indireneed in

jw
friends

my wife is becoming a witness and i've found very little that i can do to stop her!

i've tried to show her that the wt does not quote correctly, i've talked to her about past beliefs and i've tried to reason with her about the bible.

but she won't listen!.

MegaDude

Another point I would like to make.

This event in your life also brings up how well do you know yourself.

Ask yourself if you are willing to stay in your marriage relationship if your wife joins this religious cult. Can you be happy and can you have a happy marriage if your wife joins a religious cult? Will you still love your wife, and will your wife still love you if she joins a religious cult? Will she still treat you well, will the relationship still be a quality relationship if she is at the kingdom hall four days a week in an elitist religious cult that views outsiders as doomed by God.

So again I say be loving, be kind, be gentle, but be real, truthful, and honest.... with your wife, and *yourself.*

"Hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things."
Andy's letter to Red in the Shawshank Redemption

"If it's worth feeling bad about, it's worthy of amnesia."
Richard Bandler, radical NLP therapist

26

I need help! I'm losing my wife!

by indireneed in

jw
friends

my wife is becoming a witness and i've found very little that i can do to stop her!

i've tried to show her that the wt does not quote correctly, i've talked to her about past beliefs and i've tried to reason with her about the bible.

but she won't listen!.

MegaDude

One person I know did this.

Do this calmly. Begin by telling her how much you love her, need her, want to be with her forever. Explain in a calm voice the disturbing things about the Watchtower. Watch the video "Witnesses of Jehovah" together. Tell her you love her, but tell her you cannot live that way. If she wants to be a Jehovah's Witness, you regretfully will get a divorce.

You might as well be truthful, because if she becomes one, and you do not, there is little hope of staying together and no hope of you having a happy marriage.

9

When is sex acceptable

by stephenw20 in

can anyone comment on this.

it appears that in our universe we have differing rules pertaining to sex being acceptable or not.. when you married , you are suppose to only have sex with your spouse.. if you are not married or have never been in a committed realtionship, it seems at a certain stage of ones life, it is either understandable or acceptable to just have or maintain a relationship that has nothing to do with anything but sex, or the closeness of another human being.. perhaps there were failed relationships that someone does not want to indulge in again , but still want to feel close to another person for a limited amount of time.. i am finding this to be acceptable not just among males but females as well in the 30-40 age range.

we humans are a strange breed.. comments are appreciated.. ps i am quite familiar with the biblical texts... i would rather not go there on this thread/

MegaDude

My two sense.
Well, I believe what you focus on is what you get.
That being said, there are many a times I would like to take someone home just for a roll in the hay as it were. We are made to have sexual desires and it's healthy for them to be satisfied. I think the pitfall in just sleeping with someone casually is it encourages this behavior in yourself to where it becomes routine. It distracts you and takes focus away from what you really want, a mate to share the rest of your life with.

Also, you need to be careful out there. One in five Americans carries genital herpes. There are lots of other diseases out there that are permanent once acquired... even fatal, as you well know. It's been my experience that people who have gotten these STD's are happy to give them to you. They don't like feeling like an excluded minority and the feel if they have it, they will give it to everybody else.

17

Go see Planet Of The Apes!

by SlayerLayer in

jw
friends

it was awesome!

i had to talk my wife into going to see it, and now she wants to see it again!.

slayer

MegaDude

I didn't care for this movie at all. Save your eight bucks and wait for it to come out on video.

However, if you enjoyed Tim Burton's other work like "Sleepy Hollow," "Edward Sissorhands," "Batman" and "Batman Returns,"
you may like this one. Burton does an excellent job with the visuals, but the characters are flat. Worth renting on video.

17

Any good movies lately?

by Introspection in

has anyone seen some of the movies that's just come out?

evolution and swordfish looks interesting to me.. reviews?.

"it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly--you usually don't use it at all.

MegaDude

Hello Waiting,

I remember the previews to The Gift. It's got Hillary Swank in it, right? I liked her in "Boys Don't Cry." My buddy's mom reads Tarot cards. She's predicted a number of things for him that have come true.

Looking forward to Tim Burton's "Planet of the Apes" this weekend.
If someone sees it, post a review.

Just curious. What are you *waiting* for, Waiting?

regards,

MegaDude

17

Any good movies lately?

by Introspection in

has anyone seen some of the movies that's just come out?

evolution and swordfish looks interesting to me.. reviews?.

"it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly--you usually don't use it at all.

MegaDude

I saw "Return with Honor," a film produced by Tom Hanks about US airplane pilots in prison in Hanoi, Viet Nam. I would think that any ex-JW would appreciate this film. This is a documentary. It's interesting because they have interviews with the former prisoners today, but show film of them being captured and in prison also back in the 1960s. Hearing their experiences on what it took to survive nearly a decade in prison and the torture and grim circumstances they endured was positively inspiring. This is a real "Shawshank Redemption."
Highly recommended.

I also recommend a very little seen film, "The Last Temptation of Christ" starring Wilhelm Dafoe as Jesus. This is a what-if movie, not based on the gospels. The story is what if Jesus was born a regular imperfect man, like you and I, and then was chosen to be Messiah. What would it be like? The movie is clever because you can relate to this fictional Jesus that suffers and struggles with the same things we all do, and in the end you are left with a profound film that illustrates the difficult path for those who choose Christianity as their way of life. Martin Scorcese directs. Highly recommended.

"Hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things."
Andy's letter to Red in the Shawshank Redemption

"If it's worth feeling bad about, it's worthy of amnesia."
Richard Bandler, radical NLP therapist

9

Relaxing music?

by Introspection in

what are some music that you can really relax to?

a few things from the top 10 thread may apply, but i thought it would be a good idea to start a thread on just mellow stuff you can kick back to.

one i failed to mention and falls into this category is by liquid mind, slow world which is specifically designed to relieve stress... "knowing others is wisdom.

MegaDude

I thought I was the only one who had ever heard of Liquid Mind. I love the "Balance" cd. Nice background music when you're working or crashing on the couch. I like Richard Bone's "Etherdome." Very dreamy keyboards -- like floating in clouds. Nice.

When I need to relax -- or get to sleep -- I use Hemi-Sync cd's.
They have frequencies and verbal guidance to lead you into deep mental and physical relaxation. I especially like the "Sound Sleep" cd. It worked well for me. I've never heard the end of it because I fall asleep before that happens.

12

Getting to Know You

by Prisca in

this is a continuation of the "singles" thread i started.

i may have been a bit vague about how to describe ourselves, and introspection suggested a questionaire-type thing, so below are some questions to get us started.

freel free to say how much or how little you want.

MegaDude

* How old are you and where do you live?

41, Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas, USA

* Have you ever been married and do you have any children?

Married once. Great while it lasted. I left the JWs. She wanted to stay. So we said goodbye and moved on. No kids. Great nephews and a niece though and they love their Uncle Jer.

* What do you like best about being single?

The pure freedom of being able to do what you want, when you want.
I have a jillion different interests and it's great to indulge my hobbies at the drop of a hat with no one to nag ya!!!

* What do you dislike the most about being single?

The best experiences in life are those shared with the person you love the most. When you're single, you don't have that.

* Do you like dating or would you rather have a root canal?

Depends on the date or the dentist. :D

* Do you like to read? Watch movies? Participate in any sports?

All of the above. I love to read, but usually can only do it a few minutes after getting into bed. Movies? I'm a movie addict. My favorite thing to do is have friends over, cook a gourmet meal with good drinks, and then watch a good film. Sports? Mainly the gym, but I'm buying a sailboat this weekend because I've always wanted to learn to do that.

* What is your favorite book, movie, song?

Favorite books: Visions of Glory (best book by an ex-JW in my opinion), Using Your Brain for a Change.

Favorite movie? Too hard. Shawshank Redemption, Cast Away, Point Break, The Last Temptation of Christ, True Romance, Lonesome Dove, Caddyshack.

Favorite song? Too hard again. Everything But the Girl, Sade, just about any jazz, ambient, Van Halen... even country, as long as we're dancing to it. Listening a lot these days to compilations I've burned onto cd myself of European club music and film music compilations.

* What is your favorite quote?

"Hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things."
Andy's letter to Red in the Shawshank Redemption

"If it's worth feeling bad about, it's worthy of amnesia."
Richard Bandler, radical NLP therapist