Her experience is much like a "born in" witness. She is going through the motions of an unreality, a figment, to be dutiful to her parents, grandparents and sacrificing a "normal" life, Always careful not to show her true self, knowing that everyone would not want that. Even though she appears to live in luxury, it is a prison of non anonymity, anonymity a far more valuable luxury. She deserves good Karma. Hopefully she was not a part of the nastiness during the colonial decoupling ... or sought forgiveness ...
getanewplanstan
JoinedPosts by getanewplanstan
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In 3 and one half-hours time..
by snugglebunny inin 3 and one half-hours time..queen elizabeth will become the longest reigning sovereign ever.. you go, girl!.
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getanewplanstan
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Talk with a witness, my " Final Showdown"
by The Rebel inyesterday a witness friend asks why i don't attend the k.h anymore.. me:- " i don't say this often but your j.ws opinion is wrong" .
the end.. my reasons for this simple reply were:-.
a) i have grown tied of reading j.w crap.
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getanewplanstan
Just say I'm doing great, how are you doing. There is no reason to explain. How can you explain that you grew out of it? Although missing the social life, once you realize you will NEVER go out in FS again, you realize, therefore, that there is no point in continuing going to the meetings. They are not at that point yet, you can't force it. -
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I need some advice
by SpunkedTeen ini dont think ill be able to leave the organization,you see i have no close friends in or outside the jws and my entire family is part of the cult,if i leave my mom and the rest of my family will be heartbroken and i dont want to be the reason they are hurt.
im not particularly close to any of my family members but i still care for them.
i could really use some advice because i have no one else to turn too..
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getanewplanstan
Good comments on this thread in spite of the originator being a poser. However, he/she is a stand in for real ones looking for advice. -
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Having One Of Those "Pondering Disassociation" Days :(
by freemindfade inthere are a lot of things that make me have days like this, the utter embarrassment of being are part of a cult that protects child abusers, that enforces emotional brutality through shunning, and that lies constantly.
the lying i can tolerate, the world is built on bullshit, i have a high lie tolerance.
i can ignore it if it has no effect on me etc.
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getanewplanstan
Don't DA! Your letter will only be read by at most 2 elders. Then it may not be read completely! They will see from the first paragraph where this is going, skip down to the last paragraph, see that you want to DA and that will be it! It won't be read to or made available to the other elders and the only point made will be, "another person did not guard themselves from apostates". The CO will not read it. The other elders will hear the announcement and there will be no curiosity about why. Either you are living an unchristian life or the apostates got to you. JUST FADE! And get on with your life! -
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Are There Good People Out There?
by LaurenM ineven though i'm no longer mentally a jw (i still technically am) i do recognize that there are some benefits to being raised one.
for example, the first (and only so far) wordly guy i was involved with had to smoke weed every day and got drunk all the time and that was his idea of fun.
i couldn't help but feel bad for him.
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getanewplanstan
Growing up in the "world" over 50 years ago, I was disappointed that everyone, including some in my family and everyone on the job were seemingly trying to outdo one another at being mean, angry immoral scumbags or alcoholic, drug abusing losers. I realize now that many were veterans of the 1st & 2nd world wars, Korean and Vietnam war suffering PTSD. Others were acting out "unresolved conflicts from childhood", because children in those days had less protection from dysfunctional families or sex predators. And I lived in an educated, middle class community!
For me, It really was easy to come into the religion when I first came to the Hall, because it was so refreshing when people did not manifest any of those attitudes.
Now being out, I am still trying to find the "good people".
Glad to see that you recognized that guy as a loser and are not going to try to spend a good portion of your life trying to "fix him". An old saying is "when a woman goes bad, the men go right after her!" The same is true of men, when they manifest bad boy attitudes, the women go right after them! Another saying is "When a man meets a woman, he wants her to stay the same, and a woman wants the man to change ". (you cannot change a person with passive-agressive anger. They are the some of most difficult people to deal with, they act with compulsion not thought)
Your comment sounds like you may have a higher than average IQ or a better developed prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that is the grownup. We are often naturally drawn to people closer to our IQ, emotional or academic. Going to some college may bring you into contact with better people. Try to develop a screening process. Not acting promiscuous sexually, or giving it up easily will aid in screening. The popular culture is pure poison, don't imitate it. Build you own life and values and stick to them.
If you are young, verbal and attractive be careful of the zombies, that is those who are less in contact with reality, because of whatever, that causes them to live half their life in a trance, taking advantage of others. Not acting promiscuous sexually, or giving it up easily will aid in screening. The popular culture is pure poison, don't imitate it. Build you own life and values and stick to them.
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Why Me?
by John Aquila indo you ever wonder why out of all the witnesses, you are the one that woke up?
i wonder many times why me.
i know many men and women that are much, much better persons than me; either they are much smarter, more humble, kinder, more successful, or just better persons all around.
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getanewplanstan
There is an ancient saying that somehow did not make it into the bible: "It is easy to believe something is real if we want it to be real".
What good hearted person does not have difficulty coping in this world? What good hearted person would not want an end to suffering, death, injustice? What good hearted person would want to stand in the way of that?
You came to a point in your life where you were ready or able to accept the world as is is. It no longer was necessary for you to have this crutch. You grew up psychologically.
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Should Charity Organizations Be Forced To Be Transparent As To Where The Money Goes? Watchtower's Financial Books Should Be Made Public
by Brokeback Watchtower ini know there is much encouragement for charities to have financial transparency and i'm all for it reguardless of whether they are a religion or whatever.
also lawsuit pay out should made easy identifiable on tax form too.
any charity should be accountable to the general public when funds are used to pay out lawsuits so that the general public is aware of where their money is going.
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getanewplanstan
In the US, some States require non-religious charities to file financial reports, such as to the Attorney Generals Office. Reading them is interesting. The ones who do cold calling on the telephone make millions, but give only a token to their supposed charity. The rest are administration fees.
The reason Bethel facilities in the US are so big is because they found themselves with huge amounts of money coming in and nowhere to spend it. The more buildings they brought, required more workers, which required more buildings, etc. etc. A large amount of the jobs at bethel have low production expectations and the whole reason to be there is "to be at Bethel".
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What went wrong in your congregation?
by The Rebel inthe target is converts.. why does it seem such an outrageous aim for a congregation to recruit new converts?.
in my old congregation, the enthusiasm was there but the knocking on doors produced zero " baptisms" in my final years.. a) why so little interests?.
b) was it the internet ?.
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getanewplanstan
The people at the door instantly realize that they will be expected to also go D2D if they join. Not a motivator to people of European ancestry, among whom privacy is a higher priority, perhaps more so than other cultures. -
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My 67 Year Old Elder Brother Is Depressed Because The Younger Elders Are Taking Over
by minimus inhe was the school overseer but they relieved him of that to allow younger elders the privilege of the job.
now he is depressed and actually shed tears, believing his worth has diminished.
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getanewplanstan
Best thing that could happen to the guy!
One of the motivations to never miss an elders meeting was the fear that you would later find that you were appointed school overseer. This is not an attractive position, First, you had to be there every week. Then you always had to cover for no shows. Passing out the talk slips can be discouraging because peoples true feelings come out, they don't want a talk assignment, even the supposedly strong ones! (If children are given the job of handing out the slips, these undisguised negative reactions will be a first realization that not all is right in OZ). Then, you had to be careful not to give any real counsel, because if you do, even on the most negligent talks, the recipients are not shy about showing anger. You get an introduction to the meaning of "narcissistic wound".
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i feel more confused than ever
by BlackWolf inwell i know i've been posting a lot of topics like this lately and i'm sorry if i sound whiny or annoying.
my parents were asking me why i was so upset lately and i ended up just telling them the whole truth.
i told them i don't believe in god or the bible because i don't have any evidence of anything.
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getanewplanstan
1). A child experiencing these feelings is not alone and can seek help from the school counselors and psychologist.
2). This is likely a common experience for school systems to have "witness" children approach them about not believing their parents religion and all the emotions that come with it. As a former elder, most of the children in my congregations "fell away" and with some, it was obvious they unburdened themselves to school authorities and got help. It would not be surprising if part of a teachers education were courses on "dealing with the Witness child".
3). The child should have them help develop a plan for independent living, tell them his/her feelings and that you need mentoring for a successful life.
4). Start your new life by doing the best you can in school now. This will be making progress for a new future and taking your mind off things until you get out. Get further education after high school.
5). Live a disciplined life and be successful, avoid drugs, alcohol and promiscuous sex. Avoid people who are not on the path to success. Be a good person. Nothing confirms to people "still in" that they have made the right decision than people who leave and then go on to live a trashy life. Don't challenge your parents or anyone else in the congregation about their beliefs. Writing a letter about all your feelings can be therapeutic, but sending it to anyone will have little effect. Dis-associating, making scenes or insisting on a "bad boy" boyfriend only re-enforces them into the belief the problem is that you let the "apostates" reach you or immorality is the root cause. The best way is to set yourself up as successful person and FADE AWAY. That is very discouraging to people still in. Then when you happen to see them, you can tell about how well you are doing.
6) I realize the poster of this thread is an adult, so was rather hard to frame this reply. However it is an opportunity for child readers.