Posts by Tapioca

22

The Timing of Telling My Parents My College Plans.

by WeatherLover in

jw
friends

i know that at some point i have to tell my parents that i'm planning to go to college.

i basically have two options:.

1. tell them early.

Tapioca

1. How old are you now and how old will you be when you start college?

2. Are you baptized?

3. Why do you have to stop going to all the meetings if you are going to college. The two are not mutually exclusive and your parents could very well be helped by your attending once in a while, even if you do not like it.

4. Simon has a great suggestion for opening the discussion.

5. Do you have somewhere else to go in the meantime? Would your parents "kick" you out, or would they take the tack of trying to keep you close so that they could run interference if possible?

6. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL: Good for you for considering your options in an attempt to maximize your success and minimize the hurt to your parents. Do you think one or the other of them might secretly wish for you to obtain a college education?

10

Leaving a small minority group.....

by The Rebel in

jw
friends

has a profound influence on our life.

on the one hand we have the background of our childhood, our upbringing, but when we leave and become apart of society, our witness traits and their set of beliefs are not tailored to fit in.

however as i slowly learnt to know longer judge from the perspective of my witness life, i also learnt i am simply an ordinary person.

Tapioca

There is much value in the difficult work of leaving "us vs. them" behind and embracing our human one-ness. I agree that it's stifling to always be at cross purposes with every other person on the planet. Using energy to greet others, to be aware of their needs, and to not disrespect them is fun! It's a lot more fun than categorizing them as evil, not-worth-it, goats.

That learning curve is still challenging me...but the outcomes have been excellent.

26

Do you think I should get something for my wife for her birthday?

by schnell in

jw
friends

my wife is still nominally in, but only because it "makes me (her) happy".

there is nothing academic about her beliefs and when i try, she interprets me as negative.. but then she cusses like a sailor and watches certain movies with me.

her birthday is coming up and it's also right around valentine's day.

Tapioca

DOC:

My opinion is that you'll have to do the homework (see other posting by Schnell). He used previous discussion to launch a verbal investigation. You may have to do the same. There may be subtle clues you can pick up. Also, do not dismiss asking someone of her friends to help you out. For a woman who has everything, you want to get her something that she would like to have, but wouldn't purchase for herself. Make it all about her.

What a bunch of fun to celebrate someone's life! And their impact on yours! Good luck, man.

42

New here..help greatly appreciated

by Confusedandangry in

hi everyone i don't even know where to begin.

i recently saw leah remini's series on scientology thanks to my husband (semi-active jw) and i felt like my eyes were being opened for the 1st time in my adult life.

i felt shaken almost sick to my stomach with each episode i watched.

Tapioca

Welcome and Best Wishes, CNA.

The burden you have been bearing, unintentionally, for years, is being lifted. Oh it's a heavy one all right! In its place is another weight. You will probably welcome that "other" weight. It's a whole lot lighter than the previous one, but let me tell you: The transfer can get a bit tricky.

Others here have said it better: Stay in your current holding pattern. Don't get so far off balance that you yourself fall. You may be able to help others wake up as you plot your path forward. As time passes, you will be able to look fondly at this time of transition. So welcome to a place where you are safe to think and to process and to vent. This is also a place where you can seek and attain balance, taking the best and leaving the rest. The community here is good like that. We're so happy for you!

7

Why I believe the quality of my posts has improved.

by The Rebel in

jw
friends

" thinking fast and slow" is a self help book by d kahneman.. according to my simplified understanding of the above self-help book we have 2 brains, which the author calls system 1 brain and system 2 brain.. system 1 brain is the brain that make the decisions, that we do as routine.. system 2 brain is the brain that uses conscious reasoning.

thinking that requires conscious effort.. now the interesting thing is system1 brain is often making decisions system 2 brain isn't even aware are being made.

this is because system 2 brain requires conscious reasoning, and thinking that requires effort.

Tapioca

Thanks for the post! For me, it was also a revelation that it was possible for me to force a little gear-changing and go a little deeper and wider. I would be interested in more examples of how this model has improved your life. Your posts have always had the quality of healthy introspection. Where else do you see a difference, other than in writing?

6

Regressive Left Meme

by Bangalore in

jw
friends

.

Tapioca

For a second there, I thought that the punch line was going to involve the god of the bible (you know, a "Christian"), but either way, this is hilarious.

60

Now I'm Convinced There Probably Is No God

by pale.emperor in

yesterday i made a visit to the museum in my city.

the top floor is the planetarium, which has a connecting room with a huge dome ceiling where they project lessons and lectures and you have a 360 view of the night sky etc.. this particular lecture explained about our galaxy, and how it's only one of billions in the universe.

and then we learned about each planet, some of their moons and the sun.

Tapioca

Thank you so much,baker for the post.

I really enjoyed both the music and the visuals. It was also helpful (for another reminder of scale) to have the retracing at the end. I believe we should all watch this video every morning just after we wake up and while we are having coffee/tea. It would keep us awe-stricken and humble. What a lovely, lovely production. Thanks again!

26

Williams sister got engaged to some guy from Reddit

by wozza in

jw
friends

so is he a witness or if not what are gb going to do about it since she identifies with the watchtower society?.

Tapioca

It matters to the extent that some individuals are treated differently than others--and it's so blatant! It's an opportunity to get those "still in" thinking about what it means if they bring it up for discussion. Get that ol' friend cognitive dissonance working for us anti-cultists!

28

Greetings and would like some advice about a potentially fun idea

by towerwatcher in

jw
friends

hello fellow apostates!

my first post and a long time lurker here.

i would like to thank all of you for the existence of this board as this has been instrumental for me in leaving the place i once knew as "the truth".

Tapioca

These are hilarious! What wonderful color saturation...just takes me right back! LOL These are the best. Ever.

35

Question for those that have been Disfellowshiped for apostasy VS succesfully fading

by NikL in

jw
friends

there are quite a few here who have been disfellowshipped for apostasy.. then there are those that have successfully faded.. why the different outcome?

are the ones that got df more out spoken?

or does the discrepancy lie with the elders?.

Tapioca

There are several factors that inform different outcomes. One of those factors is time. A closely related one is distance. Those factors are definitely used in a successful fade.

The other factors are more difficult to control because they involve others' attitudes. (See Blondie above--either the elder is a bully or permits bullying.) Sometimes you'll have a vindictive relative or former friend who needs to make a self-righteous point using your life. Sometimes other recent incidents render a body of elders more likely to be strict constructionists, hardliners, or---sometimes softer, more amiable. In some areas, having lots of truth-y relatives nearby could be good; conversely, it could be a terrible trap.

And you have already identified the most important factor---your own self. If you can control yourself, if you don't have some old scores to settle or some point to make, you can simply say (see Cobweb above) depression, illness, personal issues...

Three main factors: yourself (which is entirely in your control, ha-ha!) time/distance (which you can control with forethought and patience and resources such as worldly friends and enough cash to move out of the area) and others (over whom you have little or no control).