You have an interesting take here, Miles3.
Some on the forums have said that it's what has woken them up, so I don't think you can affirm that the choice we would have made _before_ having had full information was our informed choice. And as a JW raised and indoctrinated from childhood, I don't agree I had a choice to accept it.
I've always thought that born-ins have a very attenuated level of responsibility in these matters, certainly until they are adults past a certain age. But, dealing only with those who choose JW-ism or who have reached a point where they should be evaluating life choices seriously, ou bring up an interesting point: decisions made without full information.
So, you say, 'Had I known thing X, I would have left earlier.' I've said it, too. But I don't think so. I suspect the process works the other way around: we loosen our attachment to the JWs -- we "leave" -- long before we "discover" inconsistencies or errors in their teaching. For me, it was having a child and understanding I would never obey the blood teaching. For Quendi, it was weirdness about the generation change coupled with being disfellowshipped; but the generations change was something he would have lived with, probably, had he not been disfellowshipped. I think many stories are similar: some event makes us entertain the possibiity that the JWs might be wrong about something important, then all else follows.
But the flip-side is also true: when the attachment is strong, facts about the JWs are very unlikely to matter. Failure to recognize this is why people constantly say, 'Ah! {fill in latest scandal / outrage / absurdity here} will finally open the eyes of all the JWs!' But it never does.
You also bring up the comparison of a manipulative spouse, which may be very apt. The manipulating spouse doesn't really love the one being manipulated. The weaker one is made weaker by his love, misplaced as it is.