Matty - honey you are not a phoney. What you are feeling is completely NORMAL for what you are going through. I wasn't born into the JWs, so I'm sure there are others more qualified to give you advice.
You know I'm here for you and luv ya dude. I hope to see you on chat tonight as I will be home in an hour.
Matty - your comfort zone is being comprimised and that is always scary with an enormous range of emotions. Be good to you. Do NOT put yourself down!
I hope to see you on IM tonight. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Matty)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
sending you sunbeams,
Mimilly