Once bitten, twice shy ... you may don't like this, but when I was helping my niece who had been sexually abused by a JW, the psychologist treating her asked about her spirituality, of course we both jumped at her, we both were blaming God for it, she explained to us the difference, relion vs spirituality, a Higher Power, and through some sessions and afterward I came to the realization that she was right at least in my case and my niece case that our reactions and feelings toward god, spirituality, etc. was a symptom of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ... now that I understand how the brain works in regards to PTSD I see how some of my symptoms as atheist (yes I was once) was actually PTSD. I used to curse at God like you. In one occassion when I yelled at him demanding him to explain to me what had happened to my niece, blaming him for it (after coming back from the pshychiatric hospital where my niece had tried to cut her wrists with her own nails - so much was her pain) a voice spoke in my heart telling me "SHE WILL BE WHOLE AGAIN". I was on the floor crying for my niece when this happened, I opened my eyes, looked around and I had this great peace inside me, and the words keep resounding, SHE WILL BE WHOLE AGAIN. The word WHOLE had a great significance, because the doctors at the hospital had used the word BROKEN for her that afternoon, they told me she was broken! My Lord said she will be WHOLE again. My niece is now WHOLE and more than WHOLE she is ALIVE and FREE INDEED!
Yes, there is a god of the bible, and then there is GOD! The personal experience, God within!