Welcome my child! Let me call you that as I am old enough to be your mother, I think. I feel, I hurt for you but there is also a great joy at knowing that you may finally get free from that cult. I am so sorry your mother treated you that way, my JW parents were awful to me too all while pretenting to be role models in the congregation - but aren't we glad that's our past and thanks God he had created another day called "Today" and "Today" we can be free and exercise all the rights we have as human beings!!!! The world is your stage Kitty!
My daugther's nick name is Kitty - she loves cats. My daughter is 14 years old and for a while the doctors thought she may have either Asperger's or Tourette syndrome but thanks to medicine (only a round of pills for panic attacks) and lots of faith and prayers the experts didn't find anything wrong with her after all. I was so surprise because you wouldn't believe it after seing the video diary I kept for her. But lots of my friends were praying for her and I have already found Jesus when the worst came and we weathered it like the victorious people we are in Christ. She was like that since around 4 years old but it only got worst every year ... Anyway, I totally understand you and feel so bad for you, you needed LOTS of love, of reassurance, of company, friendship, shelter, nurture, you needed people on your side - but like I said before ... thanks God for "TODAY" not yesterday, not tomorrow, "TODAY" you can start making a difference in your own life and you are on the right track (thinking of leaving). Please take the advice of some of the people here, some are ex-elders, read the books they recommend, and my only thing is DON'T LET THE WATCHTOWER TAKE "GOD" AWAY FROM YOU. You need a higher power in your life.
I am sending you my best wishes for restored health, may you be made whole again, (may you be born again - it is possible you know!)
All my love to you Kitty ... I'll be here for you ...