millie210

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Posts by millie210

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  16

  My husband reinstated our son

  by Finally Left in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  dear friends, we were so touched by your warm welcome and all of your comments to my ballroom dancing post.

  thank you so much for your kindness.. i have more to tell you, but i wanted to share this with you.

  we have a son that has been disfellowshipped for 18 years for smoking.

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  millie210

  Love it!

  I hope you keep posting because I love reading about family triumphing over that which would carelessly destroy it.
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  27

  Day 1: The Night of Anger, Tears, and Pain

  by Saethydd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my freedom came with a heavy cost.

  i couldn't stand the dishonesty so when my sister went out of town on a trip i told my parents that i no longer wanted to be a jw.

  when my sister got back and i told her she was so angry, said she really wanted to slap me, then she ran off sobbing, a few minutes later she deposited every gift i ever gave her in front of my door.. my entire family has turned against me.

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  millie210

  My son did what you did.

  I reacted with great sadness (like your mom and sister)

  Little did either of us know that in 3 years I would walk away myself.

  Now my son and I are fine together.

  My point is, life changes on a dime and your obligation is to be honest, courteous and as loving as they will allow you to be.

  Then when and if change can occur (or even if it does not), you have done as much as you can to live honorably and left the door open on your end.

  (((Hugs))) and love to you
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  14

  A drastic medical view

  by Fatfreek in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  when mom and dad and i adopted watchtower teachings during the mid 50's, the most influential couple we knew were special pioneers by the names of raymond and doris bridgman.

  they were truly fine people in many senses, a bit younger than my folks, and very charismatic.

  the place was new bedford, massachusetts, u.s.a.. it wasn't long before you realized that the bridgmans ate differently than the rest of us.

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  millie210

  This is just incredible to read, thank you E.E.

  In addition to the fads and religious/health dogma the JWs have imposed over the years I would add the Rhogam phase.

  Woman after woman crying helplessly as her body aborted (miscarried) because she was not allowed to have an injection that would have made everything ok...
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  19

  Feeling Alone. Need Emotional Support.

  by Doubtfully Yours in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  please chime in if you're one of my kindred spirit that happens to literally be trapped in due to strong family/friends ties, or plain fear of being abandoned in old age.. although leaving the org is my ultimate wish and desire, fear of the unknown, fear of how it would change my family dinamics, plain fear alone paralyzes me.

  how do you cope in this difficult situation?

  dy.

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  millie210

  In your situation a long slow fade is an option.

  That way you get to have your cake and eat it too.

  I did it like sparrow did above.

  If a situation develops where you"stumbled" (even if you really arent) that works to diffuse attention from you slowing down by giving you a kinda/sorta "reason".

  Another effective "reason" amongst the health superstitious JWs, is to develop an "itis" or an "algia" - a slightly mysterious illness that cannot be refuted or denied and which makes any criticizer look "unloving and gossipy" a big fear for the average JW (they dont mind BEING unloving and gossipy - they just fear looking like they are).

  So arthritis, fibromyalgia etc are great in that regard. The newest rage seems to be allergies....

  I know a sister who is fading and getting sympathy because she is allergic to lights. Yep! Lights.

  Apparently the lights in the ceiling at the Kingdom Hall give her a headache and make her "feel like she might have a seizure" .

  This woman is 65 and never had a seizure in her life mind you. She also goes to shopping centers, restaurants and movie theaters which dont seem to bring on headaches or seizures.

  So she has everyone where she wants them. If they criticize or second guess her medical condition (self diagnosed by the way) THEY are breaking the "rules" of the group by appearing judgey.

  The elders dont want to sort it out so they stand down also.

  Anyway, you get the idea. Use their own superstitions and unwritten by laws to benefit yourself.
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  7

  Walking The Line

  by millie210 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a recent comment in another thread inspired this one.. the comment concerned a family who owned a bakery and got counsel on the icing and cake decorations.. the cakes reflected the theme of worldly holidays of that time.. the family was told to sell the bakery.. then, we have the case of jalessa castillo, a young u.s. journalist who happens to also be a pioneer in a congregation.

  she was covering religious topics (among other topics) and it seems that got stopped?.

  at least when you look online now it is very hard to find her name in the byline of anything religious in nature.

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  millie210

  So it sounds like it depends on

  - the area (tolerant or less tolerant elders)

  - trying to use the "conscience matter" loophole to ones own benefit.

  - - the willingness of the individual to insist on their rights.

  That last one as OTWO mentioned, being very important.

  I wonder in todays climate of dwindling participation, if the elders are turning a more tolerant eye to things if no one makes a big deal of it?
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  42

  Told My Parents Yesterday That I Don't Want to Be a JW

  by Saethydd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i wasn't entirely sure what to expect when i made the decision to tell my parents how i really feel, but i was prepared for the worst, fortunately, it didn't come to that.

  after i told them i didn't want to go to the meetings anymore it led to a long talk with them.

  they made a number of irksome and woefully uninformed statements but at least they were not aggressive and have said that they won't force me to move out over this, though, i can tell they are hoping they can convince me to "accept the truth," as long as i still live with them.

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  millie210

  This much be such an exhilarating/scary time for you Saethydd.

  You have done so well thus far in honoring your parents while being true to yourself.

  Please stay in touch and let us know how you are.

  I would be proud to have a son like you.
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  36

  How ballroom dancing helped our exit

  by Finally Left in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just wanted to say hello and thank you for all of your comments.

  when i finally figured out this was not the truth it was nice to know i wasn't the only one - it was a surprise to learn how many there are.

  february was my last month of service after 43 active years.

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  millie210

  My heart "danced" with joy for you and your husband as I read your story Finally L!

  You have handled things so wisely, I look forward to reading more from you,

  welcome!
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  19

  How do you talk to a child that believes Jehovah/Armageddon is real

  by Anony Mous in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i'm having some serious issues with my child, she is now 5 and her mother is teaching her all sorts of things regards god, jehovah is real, in heaven, pray if you're scared, etc.

  the problem is the kid is scared of demons at night and also conflicted that i don't believe, she also figured out jehovah doesn't actually help her not to be scared.. i've tried explaining that i'm there for her, watching over at night.

  i've tried introducing her to various churches and beliefs so she understands there is a difference in believes and she likes those churches better than kingdom hall.

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  millie210

  When my little ones were around the age of your daughter (5 or so) they were very afraid of monsters in the bedroom closet and also under the bed.

  So I put water in a spray bottle with a drop of blue food coloring. Put a label on it that said "MONSTER SPRAY" and each night, part of the bedtime ritual was to brush teeth, a spritz of "monster spray" in the closet and under the bed and then tuck in and read a story.

  I think the reason it worked is that rituals lessen night time anxiety and that the "spray" equated in their minds to "doing something about it".

  So perhaps there is some soothing nighttime ritual that would make your daughter feel empowered and soothed?

  The bottom line is that she is displaying age appropriate behavior in equating her free floating nighttime anxiety with some amorphous thing.

  Whether she calls it demons or monsters, its what they do at that age.

  There have been some great ideas given in above posts for helping her to understand real from not real. Unfortunately moms not helping but your daughter will put huge stock in what you tell her because it will be honest.
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  41

  48% Capacity at Kingdom Halls - A post on reddit

  by berrygerry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  there was a letter read this week, followed by a talk about all the changes that are coming in the next couple of months regarding merging congregations in the area (va/md/dc) - the letter said that the kh's in the area are only being filled to 48% capacity.

  this was music to my ears as i have noticed the decline in attendance in all the neighboring congregations.

  they will sell some kingdom halls and merge some congregations.

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  millie210

  _Morpheus
  MANY many older ones are being vocal to the younger generations about not selling themselves short educationally and in terms of job prospects

  Thus the necessity for the "Remember the Wife of Lot" at this years D.C.
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  20

  Simple question for everyone

  by kairos in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  q. how do you explain the millions that have left or were dfd/dad from jws?.

  a. no evidence exists that it is the truth.. case closed....

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  millie210

  Even at my most believing I always wondered what it meant in Revelation where it spoke of a great crowd no man could number. Who were they and where did they come from?

  That scripture never seemed to fit with the relatively few that make up the JW population.