Posts by Monica

76

Why Are You Here?

by larc in

jw
friends

the question, "why are you here?

" is simple enough, and your answer may be straightforward.

however, when i asked that of myself, i find that my answer is pretty complicated.

To me, this board is like a huge never-ending book of (mostly) true stories. I really like reading everyone's opinions and personal experiences. There a lot of really knowledgable people here and there are also a lot of kind-hearted people.

I have to admit, that I am kind of shy and reserve myself from posting. I think because of two reasons: 1) there are lots here smarter than me (kind of intimidating) and 2) by the time I read and get down to the bottom of a thread, many have already said what I would have said or what I thought. (not to mention that I usually have a baby or two hanging on me like Jezebel)

And just like Jezebel, I have to limit myself sometimes. It's easy for me to get carried away and want to read it all! Sometimes things are re-hashed, but I think that's okay, because I think there are new people here all the time reading this board.

When I got a computer 5 yrs ago, I had been a non-jw for 6+ yrs. I remember punching in "Jehovah's Witnesses" in a search engine and I was shocked that 8 or 9 ex-jw sites came up 1st. I still believed a lot of what was taught by jws and I felt funny going to the ex-jw sites (it was kind of scary to me). I still carried around a lot of guilt and fear. But on one site, there was an article that caught my interest and after I read it, it led me to another, then another. Before long, I was exposed to the fraud and it helped release a lot of the guilt and fear I carried around.

I think these boards are wonderful and are helpful to those confused and also those who are feeling like they are alone. The many topics are important too, because different people respond to different things. (it would be nice to see this board get away from the racist topics though) Anyway, I'm just rambling, but these are the reasons I am here and why I think these boards are important. I feel badly sometimes because I feel like I am here taking and not giving. (too shy though -- SORRY and thanks to all for the great reads!!)

25

i just had my meeting with the ELDERS !!!!

by jurs in

jw
friends

hey everyone ,.

i'm high as a kite.

it went awesome !!!!

Monica

Fred, I have to say this is the 2nd post of yours today that I have to agree with!

Great job Jurs!!!

9

children, abuse, and the law

by peaceloveharmony in

jw
friends

today for work, i was scheduled to attend a training session called "mandatory reporting".

since i work in the public sector and i work for children (as a child support collections officer) i am mandated by state law to "make a child protection report if [i] know or have reason to believe that: a child is being neglected or abused; or has been neglected or abused in the preceding three years".

(quote from the handbook passed out at meeting).

Monica

PLH,

I am a Mandatory Reporter too and I came across info regarding clergy persons having to report as well. But in the materials I have read, there is no mention of the word "employed."

Think about this: If they are just "volunteers" and not required to report, then it doesn't seem they would be allowed to hide behind the "privileged" protection law. If they are not considered "clergy" persons, then they would have to testify in court when being subpoena'd. But no, they consider themselves to be "clergy" persons thus protecting them. It seems like it would be difficult for them to turn around and say in child abuse situations that they are not required to report because they are volunteers, when they have already claimed they are clergy persons.

So that being said, the only reason I would think they would not be required to report is if somehow the info is considered "privileged," which is a topic I am unclear and uneducated about.

Anyway, I found this interesting link - someone who wrote a report on Mandatory Reporting.

* http://www.cra-us.org/Crgonlin2/mandate_report.htm

In the report, he quoted the following:

"in 19 states all citizens are required to report incidents of abuse and neglect"

I am not sure which 19 states these are, but I do know the "Mandatory Reporting" law is nationwide, but certain states do protect clergy to some degree. This person goes on to mention Clergy persons required to report (I tried to bold the last sentence, but I don't know if it worked):

"Members of the clergy make up a final category that is often included in reporting laws. Their inclusion leads to a discussion of privileged communication. A number of states have decided that there are certain instances when an individual should not be required to report. The instance most often cited by state laws is information gained by a clergyman or woman during confession or some other confidential communication. Arizona, California, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Montana, Nevada, North Dakota, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Utah, and Washington state have all excused clergy members from reporting privileged communications. These states have not, however, excused clergy members from reporting abuse or neglect that they observe while performing their other duties."

It would be interesting to know just what is considered privileged. Alan mentioned something I never thought about. Is a child going to an elder to say that they were abused considered a "confession" to the elder thus making it privileged? What if the elders are required to report this abuse, but before they call Child Prot Svs, they go to the perpetrator and get a confession. Is it now considered privileged?

I believe that elders are not excluded from this Mandatory Reporting law, especially since lawsuits have been brought against elders for not reporting. The following link is about a girl in Texas whose family went numerous times to the elders about the girl's brother abusing her. The elders never reported it and she decided to pursue a lawsuit. I could not find the outcome, but here is a link just mentioning that the girl filed a lawsuit:

* http://www.reporternews.com/texas/church0225.html

As a mandatory reporter, I know that if I fail to report suspected abuse, I could face a civil lawsuit by the abused child, so I try to keep informed. I personally would never trust anyone to do this research for me (as elders trust the borg to do for them).

I don't know if this helps anyone at all - I just wanted to share what I found and what I think on the subject.

20

JW Kids

by patio34 in

jw
friends

greetings and felicitations to all,.

tonight i attended my first al-anon meeting--it's for families of alcoholics.

i've been having trouble with my daughter and drugs.. but anyway, the meeting was in a catholic church area.

Monica

Hi Patio,

What you said is so true. I also believe JW kids miss out a lot in their having to avoid "worldy" friendships. You'd think they'd make it up to the poor JW kids by having more social events as mentioned above to allow interactions and opportunities to make friends. I find it truly sad that most of the JW kids lives are spent avoiding friendships (daily at school) - it's just not right!

I missed out in a lot of things growing up as a JW, but maybe I'll get to live vicariously through my kids!

Sending warm wishes for a smooth road to recovery for your daughter.

90

Complement a Poster

by Black Man in

jw
friends

here's your chance to complement a poster whose posts make you think, make you mad, make you laugh, make you cry.

i usually find something that i dig in everybody's post around these parts.

but i'll single out some peeps in particular.

Monica

My favs: Amazing (your justice series is great! where can I buy the book?), Farkel (so smart! says it like it is!), Simon, Somebody, Waiting, Slipnslidemaster, TR, Seven, LDH (you say exaclty what I'm feeling sometimes), Englishmen, Kismet, Mommy, Venice, Mulan and Free2bme (that embarrassing moments thread is hilarious). I'm sure I'm forgetting someone and I'm sure I will have more favs as time goes on. Oh my goodness - I almost forgot LARC!

90

POLL - Elders vs Molesters

by Amazing in

i wish to conduct a legitimate poll, or at least as legitimate as it can get on this forum.

unless you are or were a jw, please do not respond or make comments.

please simply give an answer, without extended comments.

Monica

I didn't know of any child molesters.

An elder's wife told my mom once that there was one in our cong, but wouldn't tell my mom who it was.

43

photo of 'the Princess'

by Mulan in

jw
friends

the regulars here may remember that my daughter starting posting here last week, under the name princess.

in chat, people have asked if she is pretty, and i say she is.

she also looks just like me, but thinner, and prettier.

Monica

Kismet, LOL "to boost your total number of posts just keep bringing up these pics to the top of the board. You'll make a friend with Venice and get more posts."

Thanks for the advice!!!

Okay, so this makes 25 posts! How many more till I'm a master member?? LOL

43

photo of 'the Princess'

by Mulan in

jw
friends

the regulars here may remember that my daughter starting posting here last week, under the name princess.

in chat, people have asked if she is pretty, and i say she is.

she also looks just like me, but thinner, and prettier.

Monica

Very funny Venice!!

In all seriousness, cute pic Princess. Our profiles are very similar: 31, married, two children! Welcome to the board! Although it looks like you have already posted more than I have!

113

Please Respond To Survey! 25 more needed please.

by Big Jim in

jw
friends

it seems like to me the majority of people who are in the truth, are were in the truth was a result of either a family member are a friend witnessing to them and not many seem to have been found in the door to door work.. from my years of associating with the borg i cannot recall many coming in the truth from the door to door work.. how were you sucked in?

for me it was my aunt who has now even though i am not disfellowshipped decided to write me out of her will to the tune of about $150,000.00 (maybe i should hang around a couple more years)dont think i will.. please respond .

thanks.

Monica

My parents were reached through the door-to-door work in 1975, when I was 5.

My mom brought in two others going door-to-door, but she was the only one in the family who was able to bring anyone else in.

36

Embarrasing Moments

by Free2Bme in

jw
friends

just so certain ladies do not feel alone in cringedom i will confess my red-cheekers !.

i was a well-developed 15 yr old getting too volupteous for my school uniform ( ok too fat then) and the zip had bust on my only school skirt.

my mum replaced it using an old zip from another garment which happened to be quite a bit longer than a normal skirt zip.an unmarried brother came to visit one morning and was sat in our living room having a cuppa while i was frantically getting ready for school.

Monica

These stories are hilarious!!! Free - what a great topic!!! There are some great laughs here!! (Tracy, the tampon story is killing me!!!)

I have had a few of uncomfortable moments myself. One time when I was about 16 or so, my dad let my brother and I take the boat out to go water-skiing. We were both allowed to bring a friend and my brother brought a friend that I was pretty fond of. While we were in the boat, my brother decided to push my friend in the water.

We were laughing at this, but then my brother's friend decided to do the same and try to push me in. Being a little skilled at getting away from people on the boat, I managed to climb out on the front of the boat and although he was having a hard time reaching me, he was able to push me enough so that I started sliding and with everyone moving to one side of the boat tilting it, it made me slide even more. Just as I was dropping into the water, my bathing suit caught on something. I was almost spared from going in as I was kind of hanging there trying to release myself! Then my bathing suit ripped. Everyone heard the ripping, but the only one who could have seen anything was this guy and I don't know if he got a good show (he never told and I never asked!), but I was sooo embarassed. The ripping sound was so loud! In the water, a huge part of my bathing suit was floating and it was quite difficult treading water trying to hold my suit together! My brother was in hysterics laughing and his friend kept saying, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I had no other clothes in the boat, but I was lucky because my friend was wearing shorts over her bathing suit that she so kindly lent to me.

Thanks for all the great laughs!

Bye for now!

(edited for typos!)