As much as I would go balistic if one of my children would tell me they had been molested by someone - justice demands investigation. I know of at least one case - a good friend - that was falsly accused of pedophilia by his granddaughter! Even his son, hated his dad for this alledged accusation. He did a year in prison while justice kept rolling (appeals etc...). Finally, it was all to get attention, and the girl admitted it was all made up.
It could have ended worse...
So as much as I hate abuse, I'm convinced that it's unwise to blow up and rush judgement. In EVERY case an accusation must be taken seriously. But we must be careful in the process.
By the way, my friend above told his son, "If you really believe I am capable of this, you should turn me in." The son did - the cops came and picked his dad up. I can only imagine the son's conscience now. His dad never blamed him. But what an experience. It tainted that family forever.
* the son's brother and sis are still mad that he didn't trust his dad enough. Delicate situation...
braincleaned
JoinedPosts by braincleaned
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Sex abuse prosecution hurdles
by Tylinbrando inwhat is frustrating to me is that even if the wbts and silentlambs, attorneys and parents who have been contacted before law enforcement of sex abuse disclosures were to pick up their phones immediately and call the police to report alleged sex abuse, there is still a huge amount of hurdles to clear before an alleged abuser will be brought to justice.
investigations gathering evidence that is deemed to be prosecutable can take months.
diliberations by district attorneys before a judge can take months.
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braincleaned
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Being DF'd - A Twisted Badge of Honour
by mamochan13 ini had this funny thought tonight that my experience having been df'd has somehow made me feel like i have more to offer in a forum like this.
it's like going through dfing has allowed me to see the absolute worst this religion does.
i've seen the ugliest and come out of it.
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braincleaned
I'm happy for you. Indeed many don't fare well DFed. I managed to avoid it so far (which is suprising because I'm very vocal about my atheism). I just drifted away, and kept my "inactive" status that keeps my JW family happy. So I have not gone thru the horrors of official ostracism - I say official, because of course, many friends left me and consider me an apostate. Oh well... can't make everybody happy I guess!
I may get booted after my evolution based books come out. I'm lucky to be riding on the shoulders of some great scientists and atheists. But until then, I'll stay low key...
In any case, kudos to you!!! -
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My story :)
by Matsimus ini was born into a family already some generations into jehovah's organization.
from the time i was four years old i can remember my birthday being no more significant than me turning four years old.
later i saw the significanse of it when my classmates had their birthdays, but i knew it was wrong.
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braincleaned
I love your story Matsimus !
It feels great to be free from all this superstiton, huh? Your are encouraging to me because I'm in the position of your father. I told my story today.
It's here http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/236583/1/Divorced-Atheist-ex-JW-Dad Welcome here. It's a great place to be. -
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Divorced Atheist ex-JW Dad
by braincleaned ini just wanted to chime in as a loving atheist father, divorced to a jw, and what plays as far as educating our children.. we have shared custody but the kids are mainly with their mom - 11 and 14 respectively.. the problem i face is keeping a balance for my children.
i have turned atheist during our marriage, so my ex didn't have the spiritual support she signed up for anymore.
i can understand it is not easy.
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braincleaned
King Solomon //I AM thankful for what I got from the JWs: a love of reading and learning, basic thinking skills (of course, people like us OUTGROW JW logic quite quickly), the ability to stand up for what I believe in despite "persecution" (I got teased for not saluting the flag: made me STRONGER).// I relate. I was pushed to read more, appreciate study, public talking, public reading (I was the WT reader at the meetings). I have a lot to be thankful for -- but as you said, if we are consistent, we do grow out of the JW's logic, naturally. And yes, I too had the flag thing to teach me to stand up to authority (of course that backfired with the WTS and I).So I'm not too worried about my kids. They usually ask me the theocratic questions their mom can't really answer. Ironic. I give them the WT answer, then I suggest my take on it by asking a pertinent question. I let them figure it out without puking on the WTS. That serves no pupose.
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Divorced Atheist ex-JW Dad
by braincleaned ini just wanted to chime in as a loving atheist father, divorced to a jw, and what plays as far as educating our children.. we have shared custody but the kids are mainly with their mom - 11 and 14 respectively.. the problem i face is keeping a balance for my children.
i have turned atheist during our marriage, so my ex didn't have the spiritual support she signed up for anymore.
i can understand it is not easy.
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braincleaned
Well said King Solomon !
Yes Nice_Dream - she is a reasonable JW, and does believe in our kids going to college and get the best education possible. I'm thankful she's not a zealot. I don't have to fight her. But I do have to keep my kid's sprockets turning and alert... slowly, but surely. I know my ex has serious doubts - but she is too fearful to question. The WTS got her good. -
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Divorced Atheist ex-JW Dad
by braincleaned ini just wanted to chime in as a loving atheist father, divorced to a jw, and what plays as far as educating our children.. we have shared custody but the kids are mainly with their mom - 11 and 14 respectively.. the problem i face is keeping a balance for my children.
i have turned atheist during our marriage, so my ex didn't have the spiritual support she signed up for anymore.
i can understand it is not easy.
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braincleaned
Thank you all for the kind and encouraging comments. I do love them so much - and I know their mom loves them just as much. I want to keep this balancing act as discreet from the kids as possible. They see a lot themselves. I believe example speaks louder that words... and they see my side as a calming refuge. Unfortunately, my ex married a JW and they are having huge problems. So I don't have to preach - they see.
I do miss my family unit though... it cost me to come out as an atheist. I just don't want my kids to pay more than they have already thru the divorce.
I didn't want the divorce... -
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Divorced Atheist ex-JW Dad
by braincleaned ini just wanted to chime in as a loving atheist father, divorced to a jw, and what plays as far as educating our children.. we have shared custody but the kids are mainly with their mom - 11 and 14 respectively.. the problem i face is keeping a balance for my children.
i have turned atheist during our marriage, so my ex didn't have the spiritual support she signed up for anymore.
i can understand it is not easy.
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braincleaned
Thank you whathappened! Sounds like a great idea. Will do.
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Divorced Atheist ex-JW Dad
by braincleaned ini just wanted to chime in as a loving atheist father, divorced to a jw, and what plays as far as educating our children.. we have shared custody but the kids are mainly with their mom - 11 and 14 respectively.. the problem i face is keeping a balance for my children.
i have turned atheist during our marriage, so my ex didn't have the spiritual support she signed up for anymore.
i can understand it is not easy.
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braincleaned
I just wanted to chime in as a loving atheist father, divorced to a JW, and what plays as far as educating our children.
We have shared custody but the kids are mainly with their mom - 11 and 14 respectively.
The problem I face is keeping a balance for my children. I have turned atheist during our marriage, so my ex didn't have the spiritual support she signed up for anymore. I can understand it is not easy. Especially for my kids, that saw their father being a zealous pioneer, giving good talks from the platform, believing every word I said.
In time, ironically, it was my deep personal study that made me question. Many elder meetings, and I must say, they were very nice, although incapable of answering my difficult questions. Even the Circuit Overseer told me I knew more than he, and that he couldn't rationalize any answers for me.
Anyway, in time I drifted away, and my wife asked for the divorce - although on unbiblical grounds. It was too hard for her to live with my change of heart and mind. It was hard enough on her that she went thru being disfellowshipped for leaving me. At that point, I turned my attention to science, and have been utterly relieved by what I have learned about evolution, etc…
So now the situation: She wants to continue bringing up the kids in the "truth" (sic), while I want to teach my kids critical thinking. She wants to teach them WHAT to think, I want to teach them HOW to think. But I decided that being brought up a JW didn't hurt me. That I followed my own path after all. In fact, I'm convinced that the more one knows one's Bible, the more the chances of choosing logic and reason at the end. So I will not hinder my kid's JW education. I will just encourage questioning and making their own mind up. In the meantime, I point to the beauty of Natural Selection, and other truisms. I do it with restraint and respect for their mom. On her side, it is obvious she doesn't push them nor try to talk bad about their dad's understanding. But fair enough, she teaches them what she believes to be the best for them. So do I… but not in a spirit of competition - the important thing is the well-being of the kids.
I realize many of you ex-JWs still believe in God, but I do not. But I do believe in compromises that will help not tear apart our already broken family. I just wanted to share this with all of you.
Feel free to comment and even criticize my view on this. I will respond respectfully.
* I will say this; the WTS has turned out to be a lying and manipulative mind-controlling entity. They are dangerous in many ways. This I will counter as time goes by - a little at a time. The kids already had a good laugh at Sparlock, and they "get" the mind control thing. It will all work out. Either way, I must respect whatever path they choose. Here's hoping for the best.
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So, Are YOU Better Off Than You Were A Few Years Ago In Your Life?
by minimus inis your life better off as a witness or exjw now than before?.
is your life better off in the last few years economically?.
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braincleaned
I'm MUCH better off now. Economy -wise, the same, a wee bit better. But Conscience-wise, I am freed from those doubts that were torturing me. It cost me a lot (my family) to stand up for my understanding, as I had to admit to myself, and come out as an Atheist. But I'm happier, free, and it made me more grateful for the life I have. The strength of truth and honest quest.
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Watchtower Dishonesty
by Vanderhoven7 injust re-discovered this gem:.
"it is a matter of fact that the history of the watchtower society is riddled with failed date-setting and abandoned doctrine,1 and the society has gone to great lengths to hide this past from its members.
older (incriminating) watchtower publications are virtually impossible to obtain through the society,2 while at the same time members are overwhelmed with "current" watchtower material.. the watchtower society has even gone as far as to publish disinformation about its own history in an attempt to convince readers that watchtower doctrine has remained consistent over the years, and that the society is not a false prophet.
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braincleaned
Amazing and useful post! I saved it to my computer - and WILL use it. Thank you very much Vanderhoven7 - incredible research and work!