No, thank you nilfun for the feedback. My siblings are reading it for the first time...boy are we having interesting discussions. My mother read it for the 2nd time and she says it's a horrible, true story but she's glad I wrote it.
morrisamb
JoinedPosts by morrisamb
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The Compulsive Reader reviews Father's Touch
by morrisamb inthis woman's insight into sexual abuse is astonishing!
thanks for reading...donald
the compulsive reader (http://www.compulsivereader.com/html/)
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A lame reply from Amazon.com
by Xandria indear shanna,.
thank you for writing to amazon.com with your concern.. .
let me assure you, amazon.com does not endorse "understanding loved.
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morrisamb
Hey, I'm Canadian, what do I know? Different constitution...but this issue is just as hot over here!
The head honcho of our Chapters Bookstores didn't want this book Hitler wrote on her shelves so she had it removed. That got a big reaction.
We've also had this guy out in Vancouver who wrote stories involving sexual abuse of young boys. There was a big court case. He won. Freedom of speech? It still made me sick to my stomach.
This is the way I see it...if my corner store carried kiddie porn along with frozen tomatoes, I'd buy my fruit and vegetables elsewhere. That's my freedom of choice.
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Amazon.com a Pedophile's Paradise ???
by Xandria inthis is what was found on amazon.com they sell this book freely and just read the ill reviews!!!!
this book openly invites pedophiles!
boycott amazon and make them take responsiblity for offering this book for sale.
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morrisamb
Xandria,
thank you so much for posting this. My book, Father's Touch, is listed with amazon.com and I find this beyond disgusting. And I'm going to make some noise about this too!!
Coincidentally I was just interviewed by a New York reporter for 40 minutes last Monday on a story they are working on pedophiles. I have sent this information to the particular reporter as this could be incorporated in the story!!!
My straight friend in Toronto's father is about to read my book and he said to my friend,
"Why did Donald's father marry since he's a homosexual?"
"He's not homosexual."
"He is too. He screwed boys."
"Dad, he molested little girls too!"
That silenced his father.
Then his mother said to him,
"Why would Donald have sex with men since his father was a man."
"MOTHER! Donald has a loving relationship with someone who happens to be a man. You can hardly call Donald be raped by his father, 'having sex with a man'.
Unfortunately, books like the one on amazon will be cited as further proof of a homosexual agenda! Give me a break!!!! It's a pedophile agenda.
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morrisamb
I hadn't heard that but it doesn't surprise me.
One of my siblings has been nagging me to watch Scarey Movie for ages. I finally watched it on video a month ago. If I was in a theatre, I would have walked out too...not because I thought it was sinful but because it was unfunny! That's a worse crime in my department!
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Transcript of Oz TV Program SILENT WITNESS
by Jang insimon thomas: i think all of them could have been saved.
" and i'd heard this, obviously, and i approached the elder that my father spoke to and i said, "look, my brother's telling the truth because it's also happened to me.
simon thomas: that elder that we spoke to at that time was john wingate.
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morrisamb
Are you thinking the media are supposed to provide counseling for the victims?
Having experienced the media crush and then later being part of media for a time, I've seen both sides of the coin. Of course, I don't expect media to provide counseling. I suggest it would be beneficial for victims to realize that not all media interest in their stories is altruistic. Some victims have felt isolated without peer support. Having the media fawn over you can be overwhelming.
My case has been public for 20 years, so I know of what I speak. My post praised the posting of this particular coverage. I'm just suggesting being "cautious as doves...."
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Caught on Tape Beating Child
by plmkrzy infor some reason my real one player isn't showing the video so i don't know if it's my player or a problem w/the link.
anyway i saw this on the news last night and again this morning.
there is no telling where this woman is but somebody from somewhere must know who she is and i would think turn her in.
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morrisamb
Last night they showed the woman getting into a car with a crowd of reporters surrounding her. The look on her face when the car door wouldn't open right away and the look she shot the driver who had left hers locked was CALL ME BITCH!
I could see her punching out an adult let alone her child.
Did you hear her lawyer talk to a CNN reporter? What a ding dong. He actually said something like there are millions out there who are doing worse and my client has to pay for only..blah blah blah.
If I was her, I'd fire him prompto. He looked like he just came from a bar!!
All not surprising. What is surprising is the media is not backing off this time. The CNN reporter and the one in Atlanta were very personal in their comments. It was wonderful for a change..no detached bullshit...they were on the side of the child, no question about it. Perhaps the difference is the videotape..real evidence. Unfortunately, without such proof, we're all just alledging abuse -- or so the media/courts/world suggests.
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Transcript of Oz TV Program SILENT WITNESS
by Jang insimon thomas: i think all of them could have been saved.
" and i'd heard this, obviously, and i approached the elder that my father spoke to and i said, "look, my brother's telling the truth because it's also happened to me.
simon thomas: that elder that we spoke to at that time was john wingate.
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morrisamb
This is excellent. Thanks for posting it. My heart goes out to Natalie and Simon. Too bad we couldn't start a support group in person. I hope they have a peer support group to back them up.
The media's interest is story driven. I know that from past experience. After the surreal attention dies down, victims are still left to sort out lives and deal with the memories.
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The Fathers Picture
by honestly injust wanted to let the people know who posted vickys father picture,thats against the law.this thread is being passed on to the court,both vickys lawyer and the jw lawyers.you are in major shit.
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morrisamb
Honestly, [and I mean that as my choice of word], perhaps I should give you a crash course in victim 101!!!!
My siblings and I were victims..I don't have to prove that....We're no angels!!!! Haven't been for a long, long time. Probably since an adult introduced us to evil, lies, deception, inappropriate (to put it mildly) criminal behaviour. You looking for angel victims, dream on!! The fact that a victim might not be an angel could be sign of abuse!
Hey, you're making Vicki's case here! I've posted this before to one of your posts: where is your condemnation of the sexual abuse? I've heard from people like you for 20 years: "He's just a brat making trouble." "He's drawing negative attention to Jehovah's name." "He's just like his father." You know who never receives this kind of verbal abuse? The one responsible for the criminal acts. Now that's the real crime!
Let's say you knew me and you announced on a board like this, "He's no angel." I'd say, tell us something we don't know.
Sign me, Flaming, vindictive, drama queen and centre of the universe!
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My book arrives today!
by morrisamb ini'm so excited!
my memoir, father's touch is finally here!
donald.
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morrisamb
Did it feel as if you re-lived it, on an emotional level, while you were writing?
Big Tex, Yes and no! I interviewed my mother and siblings countless times. I have a feeling response to their experiences. I am very detached from my own. Every victim is so completely unique and I believe should be treated as such.
Thanks so much for your interest and kind words.
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The Compulsive Reader Interview with..
by morrisamb ininterview with donald d'haene, author of father's touch
what a world we live in, if a victim's fate is worse than that of his molester's?
magdalena: what's next?
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morrisamb
Interview with Donald D'Haene, author of Father's Touch Donald D'Haene talks about the writing of his book, sexual abuse in the church and his ongoing faith, his screenplay, the importance of catharsis, the "incest exception" clause, the sequel to Father's Touch, his other projects and more.
Magdalena: In many ways Father's Touch is quite timely, with a wide range of sexual abuse cases and coverups coming to light in the Catholic church, around the world. You mention in your book, "what should have been labelled a crime is instead called 'a sin'" The Church Leaders in your book are, to some extent culpable in your abuse. Do you feel that there is something inherent in organised religions, particular fundamental ones, that encourages this kind of abuse?
Donald: Monsters use religion; religion doesn't create monsters. Consider just one of the three faiths my molester has professed at one time or another: Jehovah's Witnesses. This religion doesn't even believe in premarital sex -- there is no way they are responsible for my molester's actions. Unfortunately, society has this need to deflect responsibility from the perpetrator. History has shown, child abusers count on it. Nevertheless, the Elders handling our case did made the mistake of viewing our father's abuse of us as a sin and not as the crime it was! Yes, they personally failed us. But I long ago gave up the expectation that all in the world is true and just.
Magdalena: Has religion failed us? Why do you think that is (or isn't) the case?
Donald: I put it this way: I haven't got a problem with God. I'm just dissappointed in some of his disciples. It is man who twists His word to their advantage. Both of my parents belong to different faiths. Both of those faiths teach that I will die at God's hands; my mother's: that I share the same fate of my father; my father's: that he will go to heaven and I will go to hell. What a world we live in, if a victim's fate is worse than that of his molester's? I think I'd rather go to hell than join my father in heaven.
Magdalena: And yet there is faith, and hope in your book. Have you personally found a viable alternative for spirituality in your life?
Donald: I have faith in the power of truth and honesty. In a bizarre way, I probably am more Christlike today -- now that I belong to no organized religion, than I ever did professing to be a Christian. Isn't it better to be honest about doubts and a personal shipwreck of faith, than to be a hypocrit and profess a faith that isn't matched by works and deeds?
Magdalena: You're working on a screenplay of the book. Is it a very different process for you from the actual writing? Equally painful?
Donald: Actually, translating my own work for the screen is quite enjoyable. The creative process is wonderfully challenging. Even during the difficult times when I was writing my memoir, I kept reminding myself, 'I have survived. I'm travelling back for a worthwhile cause. I never have to live that same life again!' Again, there is comfort in the truth.
Magdalena: Talk to me about the "incest exception" clause. Why do you think this clause exists?
Donald: The "incest exception" is the special opportunity the law gives to certain sex offenders in most states. It allows offenders related to the victim by blood or marriage to be charged with "incest," instead of "child sexual abuse" or "rape of a child." This "charge bargaining" is a covert form of "plea bargaining," and it can allow predators who grow their own victims to escape prison. This clause exists to 'help' everyone but the victim. The "incest exception" flourishes because prosecutors are elected on the basis of their conviction rates, without regard to the actual sentences handed out to criminals. Worse yet, the intrafamilial abuser escapes prison time and reenters the community. Victims who are considering charging their perpertrators must educate themselves for this harsh reality: the benefits of asserting oneself don't necessarily depend on happy outcomes, legal or otherwise.
Magdalena: Were you worried that this wasn't only your story to write. That you were also impacting on (and writing some parts of the stories of) your mother, your siblings, your partner Maurice, etc.
Donald: My siblings wanted me to write our story more than I even did. My mother and Maurice were equally supportive. Other than accurately portraying their experiences, that was not my worry. I was more concerned with my portrayal of characters outside my family. That's why I changed almost all their names --even the court officals. I felt this is a universal story. Naming names would detract from my story. As well, I spent countless hours making sure I was fair in my portrayals of religious figures and faith in general.
Magdalena: Have there been any negative repercussions.
Donald: Not yet. Well, perhaps my father's response to my book: http://www.fatherstouch.com/molester.htm
Magdalena: The reviews and acclaim for your book have been very positive. Are you surprised at the impact you are having? The support from readers?
Donald: The response has been overwhelmingly supportive from every continent in the world. On the other hand, I think I've always had turbulent brilliance. After five years of hard work, people seem to think my book is outstanding. It was hell getting it there. Even at my most painful moments as a child, I'd step outside myself and wonder if there was some reason why I was going through all this. The response to my story is inevitable; to my writing very rewarding.
Magdalena: You also mention on your web site that you are working on a second book. I note that you have published some fictional stories. Will your next book also be a memoir/sequel (the 'Tis to your Angelas Ashes)? Or are you planning to delve into fiction.
Donald: Considering the fact that I view Angela's Ashes as my favourite book of all time, I appreciate the comparison. Yes, my second book will continue the journey where Father's Touch left off. The challenge will be to top myself. The good news is Part II is equally eventful.
Magdalena: In what way is the writing process different in your second book from your first?
Donald: The most difficult part of writing Father's Touch was developing the right structure. Once I have determined the structure of book II, I think I will work the same way.
Magdalena: Do you feel that there is an important catharsis involved in telling, and facing a painful story like your own? Would you encourage other abuse victims to work through their own painful stories?
Donald: Probably one of the most important things a victim needs to do is tell their story. I caution victims to be selective. Many people will say the wrong things -- count on it. Tell your story to a therapist or social worker if possible. If you don't feel comfortable with one, find another. Their experience and objectivity will save you much heartache.
Magdalena: Tell me about your acting work. Is this a different Donald, or do you see some connection between Donald the actor and Donald the author?
Donald: There definitely is a connection, but I confess the best acting job I've ever delivered is playing the main character in my life: me.
Magdalena: What's next? Tell me about the most interesting projects you are currently working on.
Donald: A production company will be producing a short film based on just the first chapter of my book. I will be writing the synopsis, playing myself and working as a consultant on the film. I also have been asked to review books for RebeccasReads.com
I feel this is an exciting new opportunity to free my mind in the works of other talented authors. First up: Booker nominee, Joan Barfoot's Critical Injuries