december 10, '03
sharing his story..
"if one victim, past or present, because of seeing the walkway gains the strength to call the sexual assault survivors?
December 10, '03 Sharing his story. "If one victim, past or present, because of seeing the walkway gains the strength to call the Sexual Assault Survivors? Centre, it makes everything we?ve done a million times over worthwhile.? Ron D?Haene shares his story of childhood sexual abuse in the hopes of helping others.
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december 10, 2003
with head pic
exciting times for donald d?haene
Thanks! No I want Kevin Spacey to play me at my age...Toby McGuire as a 20 yr old...Brad is more by older brother type!
december 10, 2003
with head pic
exciting times for donald d?haene
Dhaene/perry
December 10, 2003
WITH HEAD PIC
Exciting times for Donald D?Haene
By Rob Perry / The Aylmer Express
The last year has been exciting for Donald D?Haene, formerly of Aylmer and now of London.
?A lot has happened,? he said.
Mr. D?Haene wrote a book, ?My Father?s Touch,? about his childhood molestation by his father.
That book has in the last year reached a second printing with a new publisher, a television documentary and a short film entered in an international competition.
The six-minute 20-second film was made with a $5,000 grant from London Arts Council and $15,000 from a film producer.
The film has been entered in an Internet-based film competition, at a computer ?web? site started by Hollywood actor Kevin Spacey.
Out of 1,500 entries, the film was voted into the top 50 within 10 days.
Judging by both Internet users and filmmakers will continue until Christmas.
If the film makes the top 10, it will advance to a showing at the Sundance Film Festival.
The top three films after that will go to another competition in Los Angeles.
The ?W? network, a specialty television channel, sent a documentary crew that filmed Donald, his mother and other family members last March and April.
The documentary will be aired on a series, ?Family Secrets,? early next year. The episode will be titled, ?When Nobody?s Looking.?
He was astounded by the amount of time the crew devoted to filming him and his family.
He and his brother were recorded visiting several childhood haunts in Aylmer, including their former house, East Elgin Secondary School and their church.
The hardest part, he said, was trusting strangers enough to fairly portray their story of abuse.
The documentary maker showed them several examples of her work, which seemed balanced and not sensationalistic.
He said being followed around by cameras all the time was quite an unusual experience.
In a separate project, a film-maker made a short movie about the first chapter of ?My Father?s Touch? last June.
The film was made on Father?s Day weekend. He said that was just a coincidence, and not deliberately ironic timing.
The idea for the film came from Mr. D?Haene. In it, he portrays himself visiting his old family home. Actors play ?ghosts from the past,? including him as a child of 4 and 14 and family members.
Mr. D?Haene said his new publisher was LTI Publishing of North Carolina.
That publisher promised a wide distribution across North America, and perhaps even into Europe.
30 ___________________________________________________________- D?Haene's Film Gathers Honour By James Rose For The Times-Journal Donald D'Haene was sexually abused by his father from the time he was four until age [15]. Now 42, he has completed a short film based on these events that is gaining recognition. "The Difficulty was not telling the story," D'Haene said in an exclusive interview. "It was telling it well." He has, according to a film Web site. D'Haene's film has been honoured in the Top 50 of Kevin Spacey's independent film Web site, www.triggerstreet.com Spacey's site is a haven for independent filmmakers with more than 1,000 films remaining there. D'Haene's film was only there 10 [days] before getting its place of honour. Films must be 10 minutes or less in length, and must be independent. Father's Touch, a film based on D'Haene's [memoir account] of childhood and the sexual abuse trial that followed in 1982 is [based on the first chapter]. D'Haene, a resident of London, Ont., for 19 years, co-wrote and starred in the film. The film's concept took more than a year to complete, but only two days to film. Filmed just outside London on the west side by director Louise Fagan, the piece runs six minutes, 20 seconds. An old house which is soon to be torn down, was the setting. "I trusted Louise to artfully tell my story," said D'Haene. What's ironic is that the filming took place on Father's Day weekend this past June. And, suprisingly enough, filming wasn't torment for the man who has been through so much. "For me it totally worked," said D'Haene. But, it didn't quite work for everybody. D'Haene said Paul Myers, who had to play his dad in the film, had a difficult time adjusting, as he is a father himself. "It was really interesting that I was spending my time making my father feel comfortable," D'Haene said. Approximately 1,000 people have disclosed their stories to D'Haene for support. He said he felt he should do something, as these people "need to have a strong peer support group." "I am alive today because I had great therapists," he said, adding his book and film aren't to help him, but to help others. If the film is picked out of the Top 50 it moves into a Top 50 chance in December. If it lands in the top 10, D'Haene and Fagan will fly in January to The Sundance Film Festival in Utah where the top three are determined.
the short film based on the first chapter of my memoir father's touch (sexual abuse within a jw family) is completed and can be viewed on actor kevin spacey's international short film web site: .
http://www.triggerstreet.com.
all you need is an email address to join (it's free) .
I received this email from an award-winning director about my short film, Father's Touch on Triggerstreet.com Hi Donald. Decided to try to watch the film again. It worked - though unfortunately in a tiny frame - I say that because the imagery was beautiful and very evocative of the past and the feelings you've expressed. The film felt very true to the book with the jump cuts and flashbacks, and the juxtaposition of the different years represented. I was also surprised by the likeness of the actors to you! Donald, there was one very strong theme to the film which I pretty much left out of the documentary because I didn't feel there was enough time to explore it properly - that of the relationship between you and your mother and your mother as silent witness to the abuse. It's a difficult issue and one that I choose to ignore, although I was constantly thinking about it. To my mind, the film is fairly accusing of the silent witness. Something I read recently - a German psychotherapist - Bert Hellinger - talks of a father's sexual abuse of his children as having two perpetrators - both mother and father. One allows it to happen by being inactive. The other actively makes it happen. I believe he calls it a form of codependency. I wouldn't have raised this, but I think the short does and I 'm interested in you're take on it in terms of the film. Talk to you soon and congratulations on your performance and on a terrific film. Thank you. _______________________ I'd be interested in fellow JW.com'ers feelings about this after watching the short! Then I'll share my two cents worth..thanks!
my brother turned 21 on september 24th, a month later the doctor told him that his leukimia had returned and he had a 10% chance of surviving.
ten days before he died he spent four days at my house.
he had already made up his mind that he wasnt going to take blood.
Please accept my sincere sympathy.
people ask me why more victims don't go public with their stories.
i just returned from holidays to the following email from a complete stranger.
then read my reply to him below his email.
Thanks Big Tex & Razorblade!!!!!!
people ask me why more victims don't go public with their stories.
i just returned from holidays to the following email from a complete stranger.
then read my reply to him below his email.
Well, coincidentally (or not, as the case may be) my father wrote an elderly Witness in St. Thomas (20 minutes from me) a week or two ago...he addressed it to Mr. & Mrs...... (not knowing that the Elder husband had died 3 years ago) preaching his version of a "born-again" faith (he's been born-again 4 times at lastest count!). The Elder's wife is a friend of my Witness mother (that's how I found out). She ripped it up after reading 3 sentences.
That's the first time he's made an "appearance" since he wrote that long letter to the Belgian press in response to their coverage of my book.
I find people writing unsolicited letters of religious propaganda presumptious. But when it comes from a molester to people who know he molested his kids-well that shows a level of narcissistic tunnel vision that is absurd yet predictably fits the abuser profile.
people ask me why more victims don't go public with their stories.
i just returned from holidays to the following email from a complete stranger.
then read my reply to him below his email.
Thanks for your feedback...actually, my partner said, this could have been written by my father. He is right. Not only Witnesses have used the word, "Jehovah" in emails to my web site, so I do not assume this is a Witness-if it is a Witness, it would be the first one to write me negatively-I've actually had emails of support from Witnesses! I hear most from fellow survivors, but the next group who seem to write are born-again "Christians". For some reason, they feel it's their duty to inform me of my hell-bent ways. Like I've said before, let God kill me, I don't think he needs "your" help!
Get a load though of this review posted on www.triggerstreet.com of my short Father's Touch, bolded below
Talk about an agenda! (this had to be someone with prior knowledge of me or my book, as the synopsis and details on Trigger that accompany the film do NOT mention religion whatsoever. You've heard of Kitchen Sink Drama---well, we couldn't throw everything AND the kitchen sink into a 6 minute film! LOL My journey just gets more interesting and absurd at the same time!)
ok! that was bloody awful. There was supposed to be a religious base to the film but even in short film development this was not pursued. The idea that the father was violent? did not get much support. so the little kid hid and a bigger versionb of the kid hid and so what?
people ask me why more victims don't go public with their stories.
i just returned from holidays to the following email from a complete stranger.
then read my reply to him below his email.
People ask me why more victims don't go public with their stories. I don't wonder. I just returned from holidays to the following email from a complete stranger. Then read my reply to him below his email.
I guess the truth doesn't always set you free! Forgive the things people have done to you and the FATHER in heaven will forgive the things you have done wrong whatever they are! What a deal to live forever forever forever in a paradise with no child abuse, NO WAR, NO HUNGER,NO your dad sticking his hand down your pants! JEHOVAH didn't do anything to you! Forgive and be FORGIVEN!!!!!!!!! ______________________________________________________________ |
I assume you are a Christian. I don't know how you found my web site but what makes you think I blame God for anything? But after reading your email, I do wonder why other people think a survivor of anything should have to exist on another person's shedule of forgiveness. Very presumptious. The opinion of your letter doesn't bother me in the least, but this line, " NO your dad sticking his hand down your pants!" is hardly the words of a man representing Christ to a stranger in an email. Would you write a female victim of rape a similar line? or my sister who was also abused? I have no problem with Christ or Jehovah. Just with some of his disciples. Regards,
great news!!!
re: http://www.triggerstreet.com [triggerstreet.com]
the short film based on my first chapter that i co-wrote and play myself in just won top 50 on kevin spacey's worldwide short film web site!
Razorblade...thanks so much for the kind words...actually my editor and I have discussed working on a screenplay!
That definitely would be my dream!
