Hi Tater-T, welcome to the club. As for the forgivable sin thing for going against the org., as few years back, but maybe even 10 years ago, the WTBS had an article of who would be resurrected. They indicated that King Solomon, the Ultimate Apostate, who was given everything his heart desired, and yet led the nation to worship other gods, will be resurrected. The passage they used to justify this was that he laid down with his forefathers. Using that terminology in the scriptures indicated that he would be resurrected.
Have you been the beneficiary of Divine Intervention in the form of wisdom, riches and aclaim? Have you led an entire nation astray in worship? No? Then don't worry too much about having committed the unforgivable sin by doubting or not believing everything you were force fed.