PaintedToeNail

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Posts by PaintedToeNail

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  18

  My DF'd father going in for cancer surgery

  by PaintedToeNail in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in january or february of this year, my father was df'd for viewing pornography.

  he was diagnosed with a rare-ish lung cancer in august, it doesn't have good recovery odds.

  he had been struggling with a porn problem for awhile, asking the 'brothers' for help.

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  PaintedToeNail

  ruderedhead-She would give him the cards, but would roll her eyes as she does it. My mom isn't what I would call mean necessarily, she is just who she is, a cold, stoic German woman. They are not culturally known for their warmth and affection. I told my parents 30 years ago that I wished they could divorce and be happy. My father with an expressive Latin blooded woman who adored him and my mother with a regimented German who lived up to her expectations. My mother is very frugal, intelligent, has beautiful flowers, keeps a clean house and used to be a good cook, she would never physically hurt anyone, it is just her very critical, hurtful words and lack of affection that hurt.

  skeeter1-he does have a bucket list. He would love to see Yellowstone again, do more traveling...but in his current state he cannot sit in one position for any amount of time. He was banned from driving by the Doctor several years ago, as he literally falls asleep in an instant. He has fallen asleep driving on many occasions, also in the midst of conversation or even while standing-only to fall and hurt himself. He would love to have his oldest son call to talk to him, but he is shunning the man who gave him life in accord with WTBTS rules. I have over the years tried to Bucket list before he was so ill. Took him on vacation to Hawaii, go to Niagara Falls, bring his grandchildren to see him whenever I can. I started asking them to move near to me, as I am unable to move near to them because of work. After 20 years of viewing houses with numerous realtors, I washed my hands of showing them anymore houses and bought one that I completely renovated for them last year...it didn't work out for my mother, who has no tolerance for cigarette smoke due to an unusual eye condition, she has to get her eye peeled every few years by a surgeon to keep her vision. Smoke or dust is painful for her. The neighbors smoke like a chimney on their own patio, but the smoke came into the windows of the house I renovated when they were open. People from Germany need to have their windows open in the summer and also they NEED to plant flowers and putter in their own yards, which was impossible due to the close proximity of the smoking, yet very lovely, neighbors. It was winter when I bought the house, so I didn't realise the smoking issue. Now, Dad needs to stay near his doctors.

  Questioning-Thanks for the pm!
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  18

  My DF'd father going in for cancer surgery

  by PaintedToeNail in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in january or february of this year, my father was df'd for viewing pornography.

  he was diagnosed with a rare-ish lung cancer in august, it doesn't have good recovery odds.

  he had been struggling with a porn problem for awhile, asking the 'brothers' for help.

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  PaintedToeNail

  In January or February of this year, my father was DF'd for viewing pornography. He was diagnosed with a rare-ish lung cancer in August, it doesn't have good recovery odds. He had been struggling with a porn problem for awhile, asking the 'brothers' for help. The fact that I have two brothers guarantees my parents had sex three times. My mother is less than passionate or loving. My father tells me it has been over ten years since they were horizontal together. He has always been a very expressive person, hugged us kids & the old people in the KH, wanted to hold the new babies. Kids love him, he makes up really great stories to tell them, expanding the characters he made up for us kids on long car rides.

  Anyway, he was baptised in 1969. Gave all of his young years to the Borg. He has always been extremely generous to anyone in need in the congregation, always ferrying people back and forth to meetings, assemblies, conventions. Repairing plumbing for single sisters or disabled brothers or the elderly. Has put in more air conditioners for the KH attendees than an HVAC person. Money was freely given to those in need, never asking for it to be repaid, and he was by no means wealthy. When anyone needed anything, they called my Dad. He was also the one who did much of the exterior yard work at the KH for several decades (often by himself or with my mom), an old man on medical retirement, both knees were replaced twice and always in pain.

  In January, my mom turned in my Dad for the porn. It was somewhat my fault. She was annoyed that his computer seems to be constantly getting infected with viruses. I told her it is because he clicks on the porn sites, they are notorious for having viruses. (He takes a hypnotic drug for sleeping, a drug that has the side affect of people driving, eating, using the internet, having sex, calling people without them being aware of it. The porn was mainly viewed while he was under the influence of the drug. It inhibits the ability to say no to yourself and if you are feeling any urges, it causes you to act on them...he probably also viewed porn without being under the influence, since he had asked for help earlier.) His viewing porn doesn't bother me in the least, I know he's been living without love for years.

  He now faces lung surgery and the subsequent recovery alone. No one visits, no one calls. It is such a GOOD witness. Their religious Catholic neighbor just had brain cancer surgery. He came home from hospital while I was out for a visit. The day he came home, those WICKED people from his church came to visit, I watched several times as car-loads of people came to wish him well and pray for him. My father had no one.

  It struck me, that all the neighbors must be wondering what the hell is going on. Here is a man who was always zealous in his church, who needs the support of his friends at this critical time and NONE of them are there. They must realise that the JW's are a cold, callous bunch. It is a GOOD Witness indeed. I hope every time they see the JW's they remember what is being done to my father, a 40+ adherent to that 'faith'.

  My father is in a serious depression, facing his illness alone. My mother treats him with the proper contempt. I live 400 miles away, not in a good position to help. My little brother isn't very close either, but he started a facebook page for my dad and lots of complete strangers sent their positive thoughts his way. When he showed it to my father, he was very touched that strangers would wish him well. It irritated my mother, as it interferes with his shunning, having people express concern.

  My father isn't able to use the computer right now, sitting upright at the desk is causing him much pain, so he can't see the mesages WICKED worldly people are sending him to encourage him.

  If anyone here would like to send him a simple card by snail mail, please PM me. I will forward his address.

  Thank you.
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  22

  Observations from a day at the zoo

  by Simon in

  1. social
  2. family

  so we went to calgary zoo today and i'm torn between zoo's being great for conservation vs using animals to make money.

  i think on the whole they are a good thing but it's sad to see some of the animals caged up - somehow i always end up staring into the eyes of a gorilla and it makes me sad.. but that isn't what struck me ... it's these things:.

  http://www.amazon.com/step2-wagon-two-plus-blue/dp/b0048wqhgw/ref=zg_bs_166419011_2.

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  PaintedToeNail

  Zoos don't make that much money from just entry fees. The wagons and expensive food stalls help fund them, along with the overprice souveniers. You are right though, unless a kid is disabled they should be walking and getting a little exercise. Do the places that encourage those annoying things have to pay extra liability insurance in case some unsuspecting person trips over them?

  I was at the Calgary Zoo in 1999. They had really beautiful flowers and a big cat that had worn a dirt path pacing back and forth in front of his cage, he wanted out. It was sad. It is even more sad to think that someone would've been happy to shoot him to make a fur coat or a rug in front of the fireplace, so he was better off pacing, even if he didn't think so.

  Zoos have gotten better in the US recently. In Philadelphia the zoo is very old and there isn't room to expand out-so they've expanded up. The animals have overhead walkways where they can move around above the humans. The new cat pens open onto each other where the cats are rotated into much larger areas. The whole thing makes for a unique experience, the cats seem happier with more room to explore.

  San Diego has elephants. They don't have many elephants in northern zoos anymore, because they don't tolerate winter well, even when kept inside. It was a pleasure to see those huge beasts, especially now that the Chinese are fueling the mass elephant slaughters, due to their desire for ivory. Ivory looks so much better when worn by the elephants.
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  140

  How do we set up a "Used New Bike Fund" for Terry?

  by BucketShopBill in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  is there any way we can try to start a crowd-fund to help terry get some wheels quicker than he currently can?

  with craigslist and a couple of bucks from a few members we can help terry get moving.

  does anyone have any ideas how we can do a "theists for terry" bike fund raiser and challenge the atheists to a bucket-head challenge?

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  PaintedToeNail

  Done-Happy biking Terry! If there is a surplus raised, I think you should get a pitbull dog as a biking companion and bike guard!
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  11

  The conflict of living in a divided home is finally getting to me - 8 years later - advice please

  by jambon1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to cut my long story short, having left the religion in 2006, my marriage with 2 young kids involved went through a fairly difficult time.

  for a few years.

  as i rebelled against the belief system i was astonished that having pointed out reasonable & logical objections, my wife just stood by the religion.

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  PaintedToeNail

  jambon1-Your comment "you are married to a woman who believes you are worthy of being put to death by god", a very sad, but true statement. My husband is the one who is the JW in this family. He is depressed too. I think many JW's are depressed because of the negativity of the Organization, looking always for the worst in people that aren't JW's coupled with the stress of being guilted for never doing enough according to them.
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  7

  Daughter Learns TTATT Thanks to Her Loving Family

  by cultBgone in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycb9blknu2g&list=uuzxbfewkkmm36zfo1xfkm7g.

  this is a video from 1990 that waas posted about four years ago on randy watter's youtube channel.

  it's long but reveals the emotions one experiences as they wake up and realize how much they've been misled and lied to by the organization who claimed to represent god.. thankfully jennifer's dad never gave up trying to give her a rewarding and fulfilling life.

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  PaintedToeNail

  Will watch when I'm alone.
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  38

  First post

  by BenRichards in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking here off and on for a few years, figured i would introduce myself and share the clif notes version of my story.. i'm in my late 30's and was born in.

  mom was a jw, dad wasn't.

  got baptized in my teens and started dating my eventual wife.

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  PaintedToeNail

  Ben-Welcome and thanks for your story. Your mother probably wouldn't thank you for sharing your new-found info. Sometimes it's best to leave sleeping dogs alone. You seem to be balancing everything pretty well without revealing yourself.
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  25

  Telephone Conversations Today with 2 Elders Re: Shunning - Or Not?

  by abbasgreta in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my alcoholic and aged jw mother is now extremely ill and is being cared for in every respect by my non-jw brother.

  3 sisters visited him yesterday and were adamant.

  that i (disassociated and shunned by her for nearly 3 years) was able to 'visit her any time' and that ' there was nothing to stop me seeing her' as long as i. didn't discuss spiritual things with her.

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  PaintedToeNail

  abbas-How very moving! I'm so glad you have you mum back and that your family is reunited again. Wonderful news!
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  77

  Give me a reason not to go back

  by chukky 594 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  been out now for 10 yrs but life is a mess.

  starting to think its because i have no spiritual compass.

  why shouldn't i consider going back?.

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  PaintedToeNail

  Geting up earliy to g oout in service, especially on cold, wet days and holidays.

  People who will drop you at the drop of a hat if you get DF'd. My parent is a DF'd JW. Faithful and baptized over 45 years. DF'd in February, now facing a rare cancer alone. The neighbor, who is worldly also is facing cancer-he is getting tons of visitors from his church and organizations he was part of over the years. My parent is getting abosolutely none.

  Explain the 1914 generation to yourself, starting with the first incarnation and ending with the latest.

  Aiding pedophiles and punishing the victims when they act out their damaged emotions.....
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  8

  I can not hear this song without tapping my foot

  by nonjwspouse in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  bluegrass music to me is the most delightful, happifying music, esecially when outside, listening to it live.. one of my favorite entertainers has always amazed me with his talent on the banjo.

  this clip with earl scruggs ( whos son was engaged to a friend of mine, which makes him even more of a special entertainer to me) and steve martin, (one of my very favorites in both hollywood and music genres) is one of my favorite clips of this song.

  it shows the true humility of steve martin making sure the stage was not all about him, even though he was more well known in hollywood.. i wish, really wish, one of my kids would have taken up the banjo.

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  PaintedToeNail

  Have you ever seen the Sleepy Man Banjo Boys? Young boy of about 9 playing the banjo accompanied by his 11 year old brother sizzling on the violin and 13 year old brother on the guitar. Check them out on youtube, they were on Letterman and also performed at a folk festival in Philadelphia. We were amazed at how good they are!