Being married to a JW can be extremely challenging. They look upon you as an "unbeliever" even though it is clear that you have been brought up as a Christian, and manifest more Christian love than all of them combined. What is considered normal in the larger society (e.g., birthday parties, higher education) is looked down upon by members of cults.
Of course, you are doing the right thing by putting your children first. I recommend that you expose them to experiences that few JW's enjoy, such as trips to museums, baseball games, school dances and extracurricular activities. If you are a reader, share with them the imaginary adventures and great insights from good books and magazines. Encourage them to widen their horizons rather than narrow them, as JW's would do. Encourage them to take personality and vocational interest tests to find out what they might be good at as a career or hobby. Encourage a wide variety of interests, and encourage looking at divergent points of view about everything.
I appreciate your reluctance to get a divorce. If you do, insist on being an involved parent, not just every-other-weekend visitation. "Visiting" with your own children is a horrific concept, IMHO. Meanwhile, as others have recommended, counseling can be a great stress reliever. You don't have to have an alcoholic in the family to join Al-Anon or another 12-step program, which is very sound and helps one to accept reality.
Wishing you the best,
SandraC