I married an elder over 50 years ago. He was 9 years older than I was. I was not in love with him, but most of my friends were already married, and I was almost 22 years old. The marriage apparently worked for him, but not for me.
He had so many rules for me. I couldn't go to Tupperware parties (about the only social events JW's had besides inviting someone for dinner), couldn't watch or listen to rock 'n roll, couldn't babysit or otherwise help friends unless it was so they could go out in service, etc. I wanted to return to college, but that was forbidden, too.
One time when my husband was the theocratic ministry school servant, I was assigned a talk. I wrote my "theme" for the talk on a piece of paper and gave it to him before the meeting. When it came time for me to "take the stage," I sat down, and he asked me, "Do I have your theme?" I replied, "I gave it to you." Of course, the congregation laughed. I went on with my silly presentation, thinking nothing more of it. However, it seems that the laughter of the congregation humiliated him. He certainly was thin-skinned if that upset him. When we got home, he lit into me for "causing them to laugh." I tried to convince him that it was no big deal, was natural in fact. But he wasn't having it. I couldn't convince him that I had done nothing wrong and hadn't tried to "make him look bad." Finally, I started crying profoundly because of the hopelessness of the situation. He slapped me in the face. That was "it."
I made plans to leave him. I moved to the other end of the country, where I had a cousin who helped me get on my feet. Ever since then, I have been an independent woman. Life hasn't been all roses, but I make my own rules and have never again "humiliated" anyone.
Thankful that I live in a country where such freedom is possible.