mustbejoking

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Posts by mustbejoking

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  2

  Pope Joke

  by mustbejoking in

  1. social
  2. humour

  the day has arrived for the pope's annual physical - and the holy see were dismayed to find that he had been diagnosed with a particularly rare form of testicular cancer.

  a genito-urinary specialist was called and after a number of tests told him that a possible cure was to have sex.

  after some deep prayerful thought the pope licked his dry lips and spoke.

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  mustbejoking

  The day has arrived for the Pope's annual physical - and the Holy See were dismayed to find that he had been diagnosed with a particularly rare form of testicular cancer. A genito-urinary specialist was called and after a number of tests told him that a possible cure was to have sex. After some deep prayerful thought the Pope licked his dry lips and spoke. "I must agree" he says, "but under 4 strict conditions"

  As uproar broke out amongst the cardinals a voice was heard to say "What are the conditions?"

  The room stilled. There was a long pause before the Pope whispered, almost inaudibly: "First the girl must be blind - so she cannot see who I am". The cardinals nodded...

  "Secondly, she must be deaf so she cannot hear the arrangements and who I am, and Thirdly, she must be dumb, so that if by some chance I am identified she can tell no one" There was another long agonising pause..

  "And the fourth condition?" a senior cardinal piped up.

  The Pope grinned. "Big Tits".
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  5

  Field service joke

  by mustbejoking in

  1. social
  2. humour

  brother out on field service knocks the door of a grand looking house.

  after a short while a little kid about 7 yrs old answers the door holding a large glass of brandy in one hand, and puffing on a large cuban cigar in the other hand.

  the brother is a bit lost for words and looks down at the kid and says .

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  mustbejoking

  Brother out on field service knocks the door of a grand looking house. After a short while a little kid about 7 yrs old answers the door holding a large glass of brandy in one hand, and puffing on a large cuban cigar in the other hand. The brother is a bit lost for words and looks down at the kid and says

  "Is your daddy at home"?

  The kid looks up at him and says "does it fucking look like it"?
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  24

  Most hated Rules and Regulations

  by Bendrr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the thread about "clinking" got me to thinking.. what were the rules you hated most?

  rules that were just so boneheaded as to be infuriating.. there are so many rules and regulations to follow as a dub.

  some rules may not even be able to be referenced in the publications, at least not firmly and clearly.

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  mustbejoking

  Minor correction here - when I said "I just dont get it" I was referring to the 2 door car nonsense rather than oral sex.

  Although thinking about it ....
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  24

  Most hated Rules and Regulations

  by Bendrr in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the thread about "clinking" got me to thinking.. what were the rules you hated most?

  rules that were just so boneheaded as to be infuriating.. there are so many rules and regulations to follow as a dub.

  some rules may not even be able to be referenced in the publications, at least not firmly and clearly.

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  mustbejoking

  Guys

  What is this "no 2 door car" thing? Was it USA only. It was never an issue in the UK - never heard of it! What's the reasoning behind it (I just know I'm gonna be sorry I asked) You open a door and tip the seat forward so someone can climb in the back eh? Or is it different in the US? Maybe tipping a seat is a cue for oral sex? I just dont get it?

  Cheers

  Mike
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  65

  What are the most stupid JW rule?

  by beroea in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what are the most stupid jw rule?.

  what do you consider to be the most stupid rules or tradition of the jw lives?

  im thinking about any kind of rule or regulative that only has one answer to the questions why:.

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  mustbejoking

  No drinking at assemblies - In the UK (south)around the mid 70s we used to have circuit assemblies in Holiday Camps (as they were called then) by the sea, Bracklesham Bay. Everyone stayed the Friday and Saturday night in the little chalets. Friday and Saturday night we all went off to the pub down the road - this was heavily frowned upon and kept being mentioned in the talks. Eventually the CO (Albert Broad - a kinda Hitler without the humour) would cycle around the camp with a powerful torch from 11pm on. We had to climb the fence (barbed wire) to get back in! Fun times

  Mike
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  116

  most embarrasing thing ever at a meeting ...

  by alliwannadoislive in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey ... i'm just getting into the swing of this great 'apostasy' thing right ... ?

  ... i thought y'all out there might well have a story or two to tell, so ... plz tell me tell me tell me about the most embarrasing thing you ever saw at a meeting ...

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  mustbejoking

  Yep still down south - not df-d or diss a-d and still dodging - tyrying to help where I can

  Cheers

  Mike
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  116

  most embarrasing thing ever at a meeting ...

  by alliwannadoislive in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey ... i'm just getting into the swing of this great 'apostasy' thing right ... ?

  ... i thought y'all out there might well have a story or two to tell, so ... plz tell me tell me tell me about the most embarrasing thing you ever saw at a meeting ...

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  mustbejoking

  Someones asked if I was making em up? Absolutely not - they all happenned in the Brighton congregations, UK since around the mid 70's on.
  I loved the prayer one someone posted "Our heavenly father Satan.."

  This one I read on another list a while back - A brother had the closing prayer and he was making it a real epic - droning on and on and on. After about 5 minutes, he is still going on and a litle kid (about 3) in the arms of her parents shouts out.... Amen, Amen, Amen.
  Loved to have been there

  Mike
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  116

  most embarrasing thing ever at a meeting ...

  by alliwannadoislive in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey ... i'm just getting into the swing of this great 'apostasy' thing right ... ?

  ... i thought y'all out there might well have a story or two to tell, so ... plz tell me tell me tell me about the most embarrasing thing you ever saw at a meeting ...

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  mustbejoking

  Old sister - losing it a bit - during the Watchtower study, rolled up her magazine and started swatting at a wasp and swearing when she missed it. An attendant attempted to have a word with her (big mistake) and she started swatting and swearing at him. One of the top 3 elders (there were always are a 'top 3' in every cong) gets up from the front and goes back to sort out the commotion (the hall is deathly quiet - no laughing - although I wanted to) Anyway the elder gets her to leave the hall with him and the study re-starts. After 5 mins the elder returns alone and walks back to his seat at the front with a smug arrogant 'I sorted that one out' kinda look on his face.

  5 minutes later the door at the back of the KH opens, a loud voice says ' sod your bleeding watchtower then' and a screwed up watchtower gets thrown in and land in the aisle. The door slams shut loudly and the study just carrys on as if nothing had happenned. No one even picks up the crumpled up magazine!

  Cheers

  Mike
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  116

  most embarrasing thing ever at a meeting ...

  by alliwannadoislive in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey ... i'm just getting into the swing of this great 'apostasy' thing right ... ?

  ... i thought y'all out there might well have a story or two to tell, so ... plz tell me tell me tell me about the most embarrasing thing you ever saw at a meeting ...

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  mustbejoking

  Good to have you with us.

  Thanks - will have to rack my brains for a few more

  Is the list JWs, ex JWs or a mix? Not had time to look around yet

  Cheers

  Mike
• 
  116

  most embarrasing thing ever at a meeting ...

  by alliwannadoislive in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey ... i'm just getting into the swing of this great 'apostasy' thing right ... ?

  ... i thought y'all out there might well have a story or two to tell, so ... plz tell me tell me tell me about the most embarrasing thing you ever saw at a meeting ...

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  mustbejoking

  Couple more - new interested family attended their first meeting. The woman brought along her three kids ( about aged 8 - 12 maybe) These kids were not trained in KH behaviour. The family sat near the front of the hall. At half time (it was an evening meeting) they slipped out and came back with fish and chips (this is an English traditional take-away food - usually covered in salt and vinegar and has a quite a smell) They proceeded to eat the fish and chips and even cracked open a can of Coke during the second half of the meeting.