angel.face - I just wanted to give you a huge welcome. I know it will have taken a lot of bravery for you to even come this far, and I just want to welcome you and let you know that we are all very proud of you (I'm sure I can speak for everyone in saying that).
I don't have much experience with Steve Hassan's book, and leavingwt seems to the the authority on this forum. He would be well worth a PM.
All I can say is be EXTREMELY patient, cautious and conciliatory with your husband if you want to avoid being disfellowshipped. I came close to being the subject of a judicial committee myself (I won't say now how I got out of it), and I soon resolved that it is better to resort to deception than risk being cut off from your family just for the sake of making some kind of 'statement' (not that it came to that, fortunately). If you have seen how bad it is, you will realise now that your elders were NOT appointed by holy spirit, so it's pointless indulging their whims. The Society are constantly changing their procedures and protocols, but once you are disfellowshipped, you remain disfellowshipped forever unless you resubmit yourself to their control. An elder who disfellowships you might even be removed, and the rule by which you were disfellowshipped changed, but you would still remain disfellowshipped and cut off from your loved ones. Is it really worth losing your family for the sake of divulging information that they are not truly entitled to?
It's a horrible situation to be in. I am very fortunate in that my wife was very sympathetic to my doubts almost instantly, although I know it's not the same for everyone. Try not to take their doubts and convictions too personally. They are just reacting in the way they believe to be right. If you play this correctly, you will have time on your side, and miracles can be achieved given enough time.
PS - I assume if you have already read Steve Hassan that you have read Crisis of Conscience? I can point you in the direction of reading it for free online if you haven't.