kate I have compartmentalized my "service" as an elder and I am honestly trying to be as helpful to people as I can. The JW's in my hall can sense that I am a little different I hear so many comments like "you are so understanding" "you are one of the cool elders" etc. etc.
I know that this is a cop out and pretty much I am living a lie but its what I feel I have to do in order to maintain my family situation. I really wish I had the "balls" to do what some on here have and just come clean to my wife and kids but I dont think it would end well for me. The loss of my family would break my heart.
As for the meeting we had... they will never say what they really feel, because like me, they know it would be the end. Some of them truly are deluded and convinced that GB is God. So sad but hey its their choice.