Posts by nevaagain

38

Be careful what you wish for (in case you want to wake up your spouse)

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

i want to spare you a long post about my background.

because this topic is about something else.a small information is that i knew ttatt before i got married.

but then i somehow pushed it back for quite some time because i didnt want to change my life and it was convenient to instantly meet new people when you move into a new city.couple of years into my marriage and seeing all the changes in the jw my thirst for ttatt resurfaced.

nevaagain

First of all thank you all very much for the replies, sorry that I couldn't respond earlier.

I am not saying I am not to blame or that I didn't do any mistakes. I found myself alone in a new city, so knowing TTATT but still continuing going to the meetings just to not feel alone and develop friendships didn't seem like a bad decision back then (over 10 years ago). Knowing TTATT and still marrying someone might have been a bad decision. But still, she wasn't so good in the truth or else she wouldn't have married me.

So everyone wakes up differently thats a fact and I am not blaming her, really I am not. Even if she would have cheated on me.

So my intention with this topic was just to warn everybody that it can go either way and that somebody you know for many years all of a sudden might show personality traits which were unknown to you.

Our marriage had problems from the start (unrelated to TTATT) just like so many young couples of witnesses have and these problems keep resurfacing and keep getting mentioned even 10 years after. Often I was at a point of giving up but since quitting and restarting is not an option (because its not a video game) our marriage might lead to a divorce anyway.

38

Be careful what you wish for (in case you want to wake up your spouse)

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

i want to spare you a long post about my background.

because this topic is about something else.a small information is that i knew ttatt before i got married.

but then i somehow pushed it back for quite some time because i didnt want to change my life and it was convenient to instantly meet new people when you move into a new city.couple of years into my marriage and seeing all the changes in the jw my thirst for ttatt resurfaced.

nevaagain

no, just telling her about TTATT is enough. Now she doesnt believe in a god anymore and she blames me for it.

38

Be careful what you wish for (in case you want to wake up your spouse)

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

i want to spare you a long post about my background.

because this topic is about something else.a small information is that i knew ttatt before i got married.

but then i somehow pushed it back for quite some time because i didnt want to change my life and it was convenient to instantly meet new people when you move into a new city.couple of years into my marriage and seeing all the changes in the jw my thirst for ttatt resurfaced.

nevaagain

I want to spare you a long post about my background. Because this topic is about something else.
A small information is that I knew TTATT before I got married. But then I somehow pushed it back for quite some time because I didn't want to change my life and it was convenient to instantly meet new people when you move into a new city.

Couple of years into my marriage and seeing all the changes in the JW my thirst for TTATT resurfaced. Since I love my wife and I knew that she also was not the biggest spiritual person I told her a few things. And at the beginning everything was cool. We even laughed about it. I guess she didn't take it seriously.

Then after a while she even became hostile against "apostate material" didn't want to know anything about TTATT told me I should became a more spiritual person. After a while and because I couldn't shut up about TTATT she even gave me an ultimatum, either leave the truth or she will report me to the elders. I didn't understand her reasoning, she told me to leave and then I wouldn't have to go to the meetings but we would stay together as a married couple.

I convinced her to not go through with her threads and I also promised her to stop talking about TTATT. See I didn't want to lose my wife over a religion. I maybe made the mistake of bringing the TTATT up when we were visiting my parents.

My dad is an elder but he likes to "read around". Means, he is not only reading witness literature about the bible but also "worldly" literature. So he seems to have an open mind and I guess he likes to play with fire. So every time we were at my parents or they were at our place my father would bring such up a topic and I would of course tell them everything I know.

After a while and this was a process over a couple of months, was wife grew distant of me. We did less and less things together. She developed a hobby which consumed 90% of her time. When I would ask her why we aren't doing anything together and basically live separate lives she would tell me, be happy that I found something to do and you can pursue your own hobbies.

While couple of months ago she would be happy when I was coming back from work and then immediately she would be dropping everything she was doing at the time and we would do activities together, this changed. She would only take notice of me that I am back from work. She said a quick hi and continued what she was doing before I was home.

After a while, and that's why I saw in her face, she even was regretting that I was home from work so early, because apparently even saying hi to me was consuming to much of her precious time away of me.
At the beginning of course I let her be, I thought maybe she needed some alone time. So I started picking up some habits as well. I started playing video games and watched some t shows alone. I would also occasionally go and play some pool with a friend.

While at first I enjoyed my freedom, after a couple of months were nothing in her behavior towards me changed I became worried. For quite some time we weren't sleeping in the same bed either. At the beginning she said that her cold would prevent me sleep well so she went to the guest room. She continued to sleep in the guest room because apparently my snoring became worse.

At the same her meeting attendance dropped. She started to become "sick" on days of the meetings so she would miss some and I would have to go alone (the irony right?).

So last week I came from work and saw the phone of my wife there and she was nowhere to be found. Since calling her wouldn't have made sense I picked her phone up and checked through her messages. I am usually not the guy snooping around in his wife phone. I am also not known to be the jealous husband but I still wanted to get insight into my wife's life. At least something small to see what went through my wife's head. And there it was. She was talking to other guys.

I have to add, three years ago something similar happened. She distanced herself of me and then started to call and message a worldly guy we met at a JW wedding. I found out because she accidentally left her Facebook account signed in on our computer. Back then I became furious and threw her out of our apartment. Couple of days later she said that nothing happened only phone calls and messages and what she did was the biggest mistake ever. So I took her back.

So how should I react this time?

So we talked. She said that she remains faithful to me to this date and that she was only messaging other guys just to talk, because for a reason she couldn't talk to me. Unbeknownst to me, my wife got convinced about TTATT but for a reason couldn't talk to me about that. At least that's what she said.

She also said that I robbed her of the fantasy that there is a god and eternal life in a paradise earth. Now that she lost all hope in life, because of me, she wants to live her life without any restrictions. She also wants to get dissociated from being a witness and also move out of our apartment within the next weeks. She also started smoking.

So I guess TTATT has a different effect on everybody. My knowledge of TTATT didn't change my personality. I didn't take TTATT as opportunity to grow distant from my wife or even seek to find other potential mates.
Even though we seem to patched up everything and we even started to spend time together again. I fear that this is just the calm before the storm. I feel betrayed and heartbroken ...

I miss my old being "in the truth" wife. Apparently my "worldly" wife has no place for me.A little I blame myself for it ...

So yeah be careful what you wish for, if you want to wake up your spouse, the outcome might be different than you expected.

17

False reasoning behind some of the WT rules?

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

what are some false reasoning's behind some of the wt rules?.

birthdays:.

why is it forbidden as a jw to celebrate birthdays?

nevaagain

What are some false reasoning's behind some of the WT rules?

Birthdays:

Why is it forbidden as a JW to celebrate birthdays? Just because at the only birthdays which are mentioned in the bible people got killed? What is the reasoning in that? Plus if you celebrate marriage anniversaries or other anniversaries, isn't it like celebrating a birthday? Birth of a marriage for example. I never saw the reasoning in that and always mention this fact even among other JWs. Most just nod ...

Blood:

The blood issue is more controversial between JWs. In the bible it says that blood is holy, so before consuming meat, it should be poured into the earth. That is fine by me. Where does it say, that you can not use it for medical purposes. And here comes the sad part, the WT values the holiness of blood over the Jehovahs gift of life.

Feel free to add more false reasoning

45

Under WT rules, can JW women file for a divorce? Or can only men file?

by JimmyPage in

jw
friends

the reason i ask is because while watching the "dateline" episode about ralph candelario, the claim was made that only jw men could file for divorce, not women.

.

i had never thought about this before.. also, how does this apply in cases where a husband is "apostate" while the wife is faithful to wt?

nevaagain

Actually it is not that hard, first of all both women and men have the same rights. But of course I am not saying that an elder can not abuse his power and give himself more rights. It is not like, the women have less rights as to filing for divorce.

With that said, both sexes can file for a divorce at any time. The only difference is, are they both allowed to remarry "in the truth"? There is this so called "scriptural" divorce. If one party commits adultery then both are allowed to remarry "in the truth".

Even if you one does not have "scriptural" divorce, he can still remarry someone (in the truth or not) you just have to face the repercussions.

I know a pioneer sister who is still unmarried in her late thirties. She met a brother who is not free to remarry in the truth. So whats the loophole here? They will both get married with the consequences of getting disfellowshipped for awhile, until they can get reinstated.

2

I need the sample presentations for the Awake magazine April 2016

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

hello friends,.

i need the sample presentations for the awake magazine april 2016. similar to the ones here:http://www.jw-archive.org/post/136716562488/february-2016-sample-presentation-videos.

those are for february, i need them for april.

nevaagain

thank you! :-)

2

I need the sample presentations for the Awake magazine April 2016

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

hello friends,.

i need the sample presentations for the awake magazine april 2016. similar to the ones here:http://www.jw-archive.org/post/136716562488/february-2016-sample-presentation-videos.

those are for february, i need them for april.

nevaagain

Hello friends,

I need the sample presentations for the Awake magazine April 2016. Similar to the ones here:
http://www.jw-archive.org/post/136716562488/february-2016-sample-presentation-videos

Those are for February, I need them for April. I cant seem to find them on jw.org.
A transcript would also help.

Thanks in advance!

30

Has anyone noticed the JW movies are trying to normalise their lifestyle?

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

having watched the prodigal son returns movie produced by the organization and a recent mini-clip of a brother in london who is shown jogging and doing normal everyday things while wanting to "reach out" it occurred to me that the organization is trying to normalize their bizarre lifestyle and beliefs for the benefit of non-witnesses.. what do i mean by normalization?

they try to make the witnesses look like just another christian denomination who are reasonable while their members live and enjoy normal lives that appear to be within the mainstream.. they do this by not mentioning anything to do with higher education, armageddon or the urgency of the end of the world nor is their discussion or mention of the blood issue.

these are things mentioned often at kingdom halls and in study articles.. watching the prodigal son returns, the family appears to live a normal life, going to meetings and studying.

nevaagain

when we watch those movies, we always make fun of really how unreal the settings are.

in regards to the prodigal son movie, i think they made it look like, the son had everything at home and was financially well off so it wouldnt make sense for him better yet, it was dumb of him, to leave. obviously in the mind of the WT the better option would had been to set spiritual goals and just live of their parents money, since they offered it to him anyway. but what they dont explain is, that probably his parents didnt have spiritual goals, thats how they obtained the house and the money in the first place.

also, just because you have a secular work, in town, doesnt mean that you will start to fornicate. of course the dangers from the WT perspective are there, but so are the dangers of fornication inside the congregation. i know tons of examples where baptised jws did it.

in our congregation we have the pioneers / MS / young elders who work part time and struggle to survive every month. we also have one elder, who just recently became an elder, after he sold his company and finally set aside some time to aux pioneer, until he worked his way up to first become an MS and then an elder. conviently he only aux pioneered until the CO came and he got the appointment.

what i mean is only the minority of the JWs can live a luxurious life and still pioneer! if they depeict the average joe jw who pioneers and struggles every month to meet ends meet in a movie, nobody would want to pioneer anymore!

12

March Broadcast - Remove the Rafter - Adjust Your attitude

by helpmeout in

if you have watched the march broadcast you will understand the topic title.

another propaganda piece intended to subtly blame the victim.

i would like to see them present a clip showing an arrogant self righteous elder interfering in the personal affairs of a family.

nevaagain

okay so i am not sure what happaned but for the past few months, we get invites to other ppls home just to watch the broadcasting. the ones who invite us, are all heavily indoctrinated and I always have to hide my inner feelings and criticism in front of them. which is eating me up haha. so this saturday we are invited to an elders home to watch the march broadcasting.

6

What are some good books as good as Crisis of Convience or Journey to God's House which you can recommend?

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

i know ttatt for a few years now (first thread was over 14 years ago) but i am still in.

right now i have this hunger for peoples experiences who left the truth.

especially those higher ups have a lot of good stories to tell.

nevaagain

@Witness My Fury, yea I didnt think much about my username 14 years ago and I am still in for various reasons. I know it bothers me but I dont want to make a decision which might bring in more problems than solve.