Hi Kat,
I'm a woman who was born and raised in a Witness family, got baptised, all of that, so I understand a lot of what you have gone through. You know, after reading your story, it seems to me like it was your family that disappointed you, not the other way around. You were emotionally abused, Kat, by lots of people you had every right to trust. You did absolutely the right thing morally, and got slapped around emotionally by the people who should have stood by you. It's no wonder that your self-esteem is a bit low.
There is a place for all of us in this world, but LoneWolf is right, we have to make it. It isn't easy, but it is satisfying. Give yourself some slack, some time, some compassion, and a good swift kick in the butt when you think you need it and you'll find your way.
The Witnesses are right about one thing: the truth will set you free. And the truth is you have been through severe psychological, emotional, and spiritual trauma, and you need time and help to heal. You're not bad, not lazy, not loose, not immoral, not stupid, not a disappointment. You are hurt. Badly. And you need time to heal.
Give yourself a chance. A rich, full life is out there waiting for you.
best wishes!